Mezzo Forte Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 On October 6, 2017 at 6:13 PM, Hadley167 said: @Mezzo Forte, I cannot imagine having to give myself shots. My hat goes off to you guys who do it. I'm super impressed. I think I'd be able to get over it eventually, but putting a sticker on my ass upper thigh is a lot less difficult. It's been a while since I've posted a positive moment here I think. Maybe it's small, but I got ma'am'd at the grocery store yesterday, and it felt good. Honestly, the shot songs make a huge difference. In a way, I like that I can use this to connect my musician self with my masculine self. Heck, I even got to connect this part of me with my inner gaming nerd by reminding myself of the game soundtracks that impacted me so profoundly. That and I'm so sick of juggling topical gels right now that I'm almost relieved that I'm doing shots right now. (I have four different topical acne prescriptions running, plus scar cream, and I'm applying all this stuff 2x a day to basically the entire upper half of my body. Makes my routine a giant headache, but it beats the alternative of getting coated in acne.) 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 8 hours ago, ChillaKilla said: @Hadley167 Funny you should say that about shots- I used to have full-blown meltdowns when I had to get any sort of needly thing for medical reasons. I only had ever had 2-3 blood draws in my life before HRT, and I refused any elective vaccines (like flu shots), not because I was scared of vaccines (far from it- medicine is amazing and anti-vaccinators are a plague) but because I was too chickensh*t to get them. The second I realized that HRT was going to be a necessity to continue living in this world, I told myself "Buddy, you're gonna have to deal with a LOT of needles so you better stop being scared this instant". Imagine my surprise when that mindset actually worked somewhat Now my bi-monthly injections are no more than a pain in the ass (or abdomen, as it would be). That's definitely a talk I had with myself too. To think, I had 3 years or so where I kept fainting after needlework, and now here I am, heckling nurses when I get my flu shots. "Oh that's cute. Where's the real needle?" 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 My friend figured out that they're NB today, and I did their makeup and outfit, helped them get a binder, etc... I feel like a role model 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 1 hour ago, ChillaKilla said: My friend figured out that they're NB today, and I did their makeup and outfit, helped them get a binder, etc... I feel like a role model That is awesome. To be able to help others with your knowledge. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Comrade F&F Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 So I went to the flea market with my mom last week. We were shopping for produce, when we came across a jewelry booth. Us: Ooooh...lots of very pretty things- Me: Oh! *picks up a necklace* Hey mom! Look! It's a scorpion!! Mom: Oh gosh please no. Me: It's so cool!! Don't you think so?! Mom: No, no scorpions, please. Me: Don't you think I should wear it?! Mom: No please. To give you an idea, it kinda looked like this: Spoiler My mom and I are great. I didn't buy the scorpion necklace - I got a pair of spiral bone earrings instead. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 8 hours ago, Kimmie. said: That is awesome. To be able to help others with your knowledge. I always wished I had a mentor figure to help me through my journey, so nothing would make me happier than being that figure for someone I know. Incidentally that’s one of the main reasons I ran for mod here 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 1 minute ago, ChillaKilla said: I always wished I had a mentor figure to help me through my journey, so nothing would make me happier than being that figure for someone I know. Incidentally that’s one of the main reasons I ran for mod here Well that is a really great reason for doing so. And i wish you the best of luck. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Just now, Kimmie. said: Well that is a really great reason for doing so. And i wish you the best of luck. Thank you 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Was here Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 probably not a really good thing, but I've been having those fantasies again with me as a guy in them, although after the high of loving those fantasies, I'm left angry and sad. uh *thinks of something good* I have a friend online who was roleplaying as an intersex and bigender character, but instead of bigender, they but that IIRC offensive H word instead. I informed them that that word is offensive and they should use intersex or bigender instead. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Ahhh! I'm so glad I'm getting over my social awkwardness and just talk to people. I have a couple trans friends and I've asked them for help about getting started on T and they've both been super helpful! I contacted one of the clinics they recommended, one by which one of my friends didn't have to have a letter from a gender therapist, but signed an informed consent (that definitelty saves me money). And hopefully my insurance could help cover it, if not, then I might pay out of pocket depending on how much it cost. But, AHHHH! I'm so excited! I'd say you have no idea, but you guys pretty much have a good idea. I'll keep you updated but I don't know how words can descrive how excited I am, like dancing-around-the-house-like-nobody-is-watching excited!!! 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Thats great @SpoopyWorldthat things are moving forward for you. And for me..... I have not been that much dysphoria lately. Can be because it is fall so I am wearing more clothes or something. But it still there. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 2 hours ago, ChillaKilla said: I always wished I had a mentor figure to help me through my journey, so nothing would make me happier than being that figure for someone I know. Incidentally that’s one of the main reasons I ran for mod here You echo a lot of the sentiments I hold on the matter. The closest thing I had to mentor figures were the occasional AVENites, and even then, I didn't really have a lot of transmasculine people to chat with who were farther along than me on hormones and whatnot (if any). Then of course, as I transitioned, I have three friends come out as FtM and start hormones, (plus another who came out to me who is still in the closet,) and when I finally get connected to someone who is farther along in transition than me (a friend of my extended family), I was already far enough in my transition that it didn't really make a difference. That said, I reached out to my friends who came out so I could be a mentor figure to them, and I'm glad to be the resource I wish I had. If only tangentially related, this gap year has left me doing a lot of reevaluation of my life and questioning what path is best for me. (My end goal is still pretty unchanged; I know that my life is dedicated to academia.) As of late, I've seen how alive I feel when I get to mentor others. I love that I can use my experiences and knowledge to help others move forward in their lives. I've always known that I've wanted to be a professor, but I never realized just how much of that came from a general love of education rather than a love of music. Honestly, it's got me seriously considering going for yet another Master's degree, but in music education this time. I'll definitely still go for a doctorate someday, but I'm getting more and more enthused with the idea of getting formal education training in a place where I can continue my work as an adjunct professor for the nearby community college. (Plus, I can try for a foreign language fellowship and potentially get paid to learn Portuguese, and I'll need fluency in that language if I want to continue my ethnomusicology research.) 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Oh and my tangents reminded me of something gender-specific: the community college I'm teaching at has policies explicitly protecting people on the basis of gender identity. I live in a state with no legal LGBT protections in regards to employment, so it's always nice seeing the protections explicitly stated at my work. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Comrade F&F Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 I went to McDonalds last week, and the cashier was a non-binary fella. They were wearing makeup and nail polish. Made me happy to see someone embracing their identity out in the open. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 @Feys&Florets The other week I ran into another enby at a Blick art store! I think they were on T, too. They had an agender flag colored beanie on. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ThatHuman Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 GOT A BINDER THAT WON'T KILL ME! YES! HAHAHAHAH! 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Was here Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 This makes me smile to know I'm not alone in this denial thing also warning, some people mention genitals and sexual things 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 @Danny99 that link you posted.....wow i recognize myself in almost everything they say. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 Some of the comments are hilarious! especially the one that said: "You're not like one of those people!!!" I remember saying that to myself too before i explored this section of AVEN and especially the trans whatever thread Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 3 minutes ago, Jayce said: Some of the comments are hilarious! especially the one that said: "You're not like one of those people!!!" I remember saying that to myself too before i explored this section of AVEN and especially the trans whatever thread I really like this one: Yeah, I held on to the "of course everyone wants to be a girl, it has to be amazing, who wouldn't spend every day thinking about that and getting jealous of girls" And this one: When I came out to my sister, I explained to her that most trans people hold a belief that everyone had the same feelings. Her response, "You just assumed everyone wanted to be a woman? That didn't tip you off?" 😂 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Was here Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 5 minutes ago, Kimmie. said: I really like this one: Yeah, I held on to the "of course everyone wants to be a girl, it has to be amazing, who wouldn't spend every day thinking about that and getting jealous of girls" And this one: When I came out to my sister, I explained to her that most trans people hold a belief that everyone had the same feelings. Her response, "You just assumed everyone wanted to be a woman? That didn't tip you off?" 😂 I think I've always had this, but from the "why wouldn't girls want to be boys?" perspective. I just never put words to it because I thought it was normal. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kaysir Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 3 hours ago, Danny99 said: I think I've always had this, but from the "why wouldn't girls want to be boys?" perspective. I just never put words to it because I thought it was normal. Same. What helped me with this was talking to one of my brothers. I asked if he ever wondered what it would be like to be a girl, or if he thought he might be one. He said no. I asked if that was true and told him he could be honest and such, and he just said he'd never thought about it. I was like oh... Well, I think about it all the time. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 Not related to gender specifically, but I'm going to stop being ashamed of saying I'm asexual on dating sites. It's true and if someone balks at me for that reason, they weren't for me in the first place. Also, I stood up to my mom today when she called me a guy. I actually stopped and told her "Please don't call me a guy, ok? It's not right." 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ThatHuman Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 I have a nice fluffy moustache... Though it may be small - it's fluffy... 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Starbogen Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 16 minutes ago, Hadley167 said: Not related to gender specifically, but I'm going to stop being ashamed of saying I'm asexual on dating sites. It's true and if someone balks at me for that reason, they weren't for me in the first place. Also, I stood up to my mom today when she called me a guy. I actually stopped and told her "Please don't call me a guy, ok? It's not right." That's great about standing up to your mom! I've been doing that sometimes... When my dad isn't around though. Except when I do it it's either that I go "No!" Like a little whiny kid when she calls me anything like "girl". Or if she calls me a female pronoun I'll correct her. A few times I've just sulked and looked upset until she gets it. I wish I did it more often than I do though, and more directly and assertively. But at least she is better now than she used to be. Surprisingly one of my brothers (they're both younger than me but the older one, he's 16) seems to be calling me the correct pronouns lately. Though also when dad isn't around...it's always when dad isn't around. My native language is spanish so I can't avoid pronouns even when talking about myself, but I refuse to use the female word endings. I haven't done it consciously in a long long time. So when dad's around I tend to either mumble it so it's not very clear that I used the male ending, or just say the word in english so it's neutral. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ThatHuman Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 46 minutes ago, Liebelit said: My native language is spanish so I can't avoid pronouns even when talking about myself, but I refuse to use the female word endings. I haven't done it consciously in a long long time. So when dad's around I tend to either mumble it so it's not very clear that I used the male ending, or just say the word in english so it's neutral. Ugh... Gendered languages... I honestly don't know what to say in Polish... Male or Female - ? - Eh... Hell, even surnames are gendered... It's like I'm living a nightmare of stereotypes and gender-roles when I go back there - and 99.9% of the time, I want to rip my hair out... I need to search Polish for some neutral plurals - somehow... I have no choice but to speak it everyday... Oh, and good luck 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Starbogen Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 11 minutes ago, ThatHuman said: Ugh... Gendered languages... I honestly don't know what to say in Polish... Male or Female - ? - Eh... Hell, even surnames are gendered... It's like I'm living a nightmare of stereotypes and gender-roles when I go back there - and 99.9% of the time, I want to rip my hair out... I need to search Polish for some neutral plurals - somehow... I have no choice but to speak it everyday... Oh, and good luck Thanks! And yeah.. gendered languages are pretty annoying as a trans person. Only when I'm around my family though. Any other time I lowkey like it because I get to hear everyone gender me correctly. But with the wrong people it sucks. It must be even worse if you're non binary and the language doesn't have a neutral option. Good luck with finding neutral plurals in Polish. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 4 hours ago, Hadley167 said: Also, I stood up to my mom today when she called me a guy. I actually stopped and told her "Please don't call me a guy, ok? It's not right." Wow that is really great that you still keep standing up for yourself. But for how long can she be in denial? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
K.I.N.G Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 On 12/10/2017 at 6:32 PM, kaysir said: Same. What helped me with this was talking to one of my brothers. I asked if he ever wondered what it would be like to be a girl, or if he thought he might be one. He said no. I asked if that was true and told him he could be honest and such, and he just said he'd never thought about it. I was like oh... Well, I think about it all the time. haha I literally was asking my sister the other day if she ever wanted to be a guy - apparently not. Glad im not the only one weirding their siblings out - or maybe that's just my lot :L 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
999papercranes Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 Well, I introduced myself as a trans guy on my writing forums. We'll see what happens. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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