a gender positive thread

[ChillaKilla]

I told a piece of transmedicalist NB-hating trash to suck it today, so I've got that going for me  

[butterflydreams]

@ChillaKilla, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X48G7Y0VWW4, the whole thing is amazing, but relevant part is at 1:10

 

I accepted the job!! Gave my notice at my current job. Sent a rejection letter to the other offer I had. It's hard to send those rejection letters. I've had to do it more times in my young career...

 

I'm working on feeling proud of myself for all this. Trying to remember how I haven't even been Hadley legally for a year. And how just over a year ago I was afraid of walking around in the daylight.

 

I know I'm going to be outed at some point, because the job is at a school, and as such, I have to have extensive background checks. My old name is going to come up. I also had to produce my college transcript, which has my old name on it. I didn't have enough time to call the registrar's office to get it fixed. Oh well. I hope they understand and keep everything discrete. I'm not trying to hide anything, but having my old name revealed anywhere is so incredibly embarrassing. Especially when I'm starting a new job where I'll only be known as Hadley. 

 

[Kimmie.]

Hadley I keep being so impressed by you. Go you!! 

[Gentle Giant]

@Hadley167 Congratulations on your new job and good luck!

[Kimmie.]

I had a weird dream this night,

 

I will try to describe it: I was in a world that looked like stardew valley. And for some reason I was in a daycare center. That was run down, but by magic the moment I stepped in the intire place got fresh. And center worker dumped everything on me. And I think I am not sure but I think I was a woman in the dream. And there was one of the people that lived in the village was a transgirl that come out to for some reason by singing the bridge from Linkin parks braking the habit. And by magic she become her real self. And then my alarm clock rang and I woke up.

 

It was just weird but i liked it.

[nerdperson777]

I hung out with my cousin tonight since my parents were invited to a friend's birthday dinner.  She didn't say any politically wrong gender terms and tried to call me he.  I had told her some days before that I did end up getting T, so she's basically the only family member who knows about it now.  She then told me at the last dinner at our house, her boyfriend noticed that my voice sounded more masculine.  My parents were probably too oblivious to notice my voice changing at all.  I told her that I think if my mom found out, I think she would smell me first, because her nose is like a bloodhound, and they say T changes sweat smell.  Earlier today she even remarked that my shirt was old, and I thought she was saying that it smelled, like she usually does, but she actually meant that I had this shirt I'm wearing for over 5 years.  We even talked about my oldest cousin on the other side of the family.  We were talking about how we think he must be gay or asexual because of his lack of dating.  I know that's romantic orientation rather than sexual, but he literally has no dating history, other than half a year ago when one of his sisters set him up with one of her co-workers.  I heard that it didn't last so he's single again.  Meanwhile, all his younger siblings are all married now.  Of the four, two already have kids.  He is just really invested in his work at his university.  One time years ago when I visited as a kid, I made innocent dirty jokes and even then he was repulsed by them.  So my cousin said that we covered both bases with that thought.  Overall, I think we had a pretty good night.  Other than her many pronoun slip ups, I didn't really have to correct her wording.

[nerdperson777]

On 8/15/2017 at 5:32 AM, Liebelit said:

@Hadley167 Oh wow I didn't know I could use my (chosen) name on a resume! I thought I would have to use the legal one for..idk, official reasons or something. But this actually makes me feel a lot better about future interviews. Thank you! 

I guess I always assume I'll have to use the legal name in situations where I know it will be required to give it at some point.. Like at school I can write my name in lists the professors make and on my assignments and tests but I can't have it on my student id or university email, which sucks. But at least almost no one sees those, and for the most part we're allowed to use other/personal emails. 

I applied to all my jobs as my chosen name.  At my first job, only my supervisor knows that checks need to be written to my legal name.  He never asked about it.  None of the other workers know my legal name.  One time I was talking to the people there about signatures and one girl was assuming that my signature is with that name.  I still sign things as my legal name.  Also, even if I do legally change (I'm expecting early 2019 when California legalizes non-binary gender markers), I think I would keep my signature just so that I know it's mine.  If someone forged my signature, then I would know.

Some schools do let you put a non-legal name on your ID, but it's not very prevalent.  I have a friend who graduated the same time I did, who said that her school added that right after she left, so it wouldn't benefit her anyway.  I had to tell people that my name was [shortened neutral version of birth name] because I didn't want to run into any trouble with people seeing my name on my homework and asking.  I didn't bother emailing professors about using a different name since there were so many students anyway.

 

On 8/15/2017 at 8:30 AM, ChillaKilla said:

@Liebelit I think most large chain corporations (if you're gonna work in retail or customer service) have provisions for preferred names versus legal ones. At least, my employer does. I changed the preferred one on my profile and by my next shift I had a new name tag and everything.

Last week, when I got milk tea, my receipt said that my cashier was Geodude.  The guy was drinking some energy drink with a name tag that said "Geo :)" on it.  Totally a legal name?

[Emery.]

"Such a ladette. No. I think you look like an emo"

[nerdperson777]

I went to see my therapist in person after my last phone session was almost 3 months due to time and place conflicts.  I last saw her in person in December.  She said that I seemed a lot happier and I hadn't noticed.  I lost my best friend and still live in a restrictive house.  How can I be feeling better?  She said that I was smiling more.  I was moving on from my friend after only two months of being let go.  I said at the end of the session that I got T from a clinic.  I wonder if it's the T that's making me in a better mood.  Is T making me more masculine, cancelling out the femininity I express?  I still cross my legs a lot in addition to manspreading.  Am I feeling more confidence with not wearing a binder too?  Is that a big reason for me to not wanting to use them anymore?  Why do I seem happier and I not see it?

[ChillaKilla]

@nerdperson777 I still cross my legs a lot  Old habits die hard, eh?

[Starbogen]

4 hours ago, ChillaKilla said:

@nerdperson777 I still cross my legs a lot  Old habits die hard, eh?

I used to naturally cross them both in the feminine looking knee to knee and the masculine looking ankle to knee way but sadly after coming out to myself I seem to have gradually become more and more self conscious of crossing my legs knee to knee so any time I do it automatically I chose to change it. 

It's some sort of combination between not wanting to seem too feminine so people won't look more closely at me and realize something's up, and feeling bad over how easy it is to cross my legs that way because I don't have the typical male anatomy.

 

But I suspect once I've been on T a while and don't worry about not passing, and I get a packer, I'll be a lot less self conscious about crossing my legs like that and just let it happen when it happens. 

[nerdperson777]

I cross my legs in all the ways so who knows anymore.  I tend to switch my triangles constantly even to my other leg supporting.

[jehoshabeath]

.

[butterflydreams]

I have kind of short legs so I can't really cross them comfortably any way.

 

I was at a police station yesterday getting fingerprinted for a job. They needed two forms of ID. I used my passport and my license. That's probably where the officer saw the F, but the speed and matter-of-fact way with which he selected "female" when filling out the form was heartening. Because sitting there, how could I not be female? And this came on top of having a receptionist at the HR office I had just come from prior talking to someone else, "Well, Hadley is here now, do you want to talk to her first or can I fill these things out with her?" That came without any indication of what I was other than how I looked when I showed up. Maybe I'm finally getting there.

[Kimmie.]

I have said it before but I will say it again this thread can really make your day so much better. 

[Guest]

Just reading this thread makes me happy! So many inspiring stories here! it's amazing!  

[Starbogen]

3 hours ago, jehoshabeath said:

I tend to sit on one of my ankles, with one leg crossed under the other.  Is that particularly masculine, feminine, or something else? Just curious  

I think I used to do that when I was younger but for some reason I never do anymore... It probably became a bit uncomfortable when I wasn't a kid anymore, but anyway I never thought of it as anything so I guess to me at least it came across as androgynous.

[Alex the Queer]

it is one of the most amazing feelings in the world to finally stop being so self conscious about your gender and start coming to terms with the fact that it's ok to be feminine and express yourself in very feminine ways while still being NB

[MaxIsSocallyAwkward]

I like my eyes. They are blue.

[Kimmie.]

To draw my dream self and how i wish my life would be. Makes me calm when i am stressed and depressed. I know who i am deep inside i "just" need to let it out for real.

[<No longer active>]

I came out as trams to one of my cousins over Facebook. As far as I could tell, he took it okay...

[Kimmie.]

@rivkael thats great 

[Calligraphette_Coe]

While it's always sooo much 'fun' to go on medical appointments, I got Miss Lastnamed today at the ophthamologist's office.  ::::smiles::::  See, even people who specialize in good vision do that. I was wearing bluejeans and a seafoam guy's pocket T-shirt. I didn't even have my long blonde hair pulled back. I guess it was the usual combination of my androgynous appearance and gender neutral first name. So when the technician didn't get a response, I guess she went back to to check my paperwork, and then came back, said "Sorry!" and then asked for me the 'right' way.

[Starbogen]

I went to buy those thingies that are only targeted at women because it's believed only women need them and some chocolate for myself. Still got called sir by the cashier.

I'm having a shitty day but that gave me a much needed confidence boost.

[miauw]

I was having a really awful day today and then a co-worker came to say bye, saying something like: "Have a nice weekend, [miau], ... ladies." and I just started laughing. I am the first to say I am not even close to being a lady, even on the days I happen to feel like a female. The poor guy got completely flustered and stumbled all over his words trying to apologize and explain that he thought I was the only one in the room and that he only saw the girls when he was already in the middle of his sentence and so on. The more he tried to talk himself out of it, the funnier it felt to me. It was also kind of nice not to be automatically lumped together with the women, even if by mistake. And it was a pleasant reminder that nobody at the office cares in the least if I am feminine or not, which definitely wasn't the case at my previous job. Hurray for having the freedom not to think about gender at all.

[<No longer active>]

(This is humor)

 

I've just received 100% confirmation that I'm a teenage transboy.

 

i was doodling.

 

i doodled a d*ck.

 

Also on a separate note I have a pair of cargo trousers that you can take most of the legs off and turn into shorts and holy shizz they looked masc! I mowed three lawns today in them. 💪💪

[Guest]

Went to a lot of job interviews last week. (about 6)

 

1 gave me an offer, the next day. Was a really good interview. And, that same day I told them, I'm transitioning already / next year. 

 

It was no problem to them, they understood, asked for how my whole plan looks like. And the offer still stands.

 

Probably will be signing it next Tuesday! 

 

Out of closet at work(management), before actually switching xD..

 

 

[Kimmie.]

Thats awesome Phoenix. 

[Gentle Giant]

Congratulations on getting the job, @Phoenix the II!  

[daveb]

2 hours ago, Phoenix the II said:

1 gave me an offer, the next day. Was a really good interview. And, that same day I told them, I'm transitioning already / next year. 

Good for you on both counts! I hope it's a good job!  Congratulations!