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Hadley167

a gender positive thread

558 posts in this topic

Sometimes (actually more than sometimes - but my gender questioning still confuses me) I'm actually okay with being female, not having anything in the way "down there" and sometimes I'm okay with my chest. Or at least I don't like it being visible, but it feels like a part of me I guess. probably because it literally is. 

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3 hours ago, Mezzo Forte said:

I've actually been really enjoying polo shirts lately.

I used to wear polo shirts all the time. I guess I still could now, but 100% certainly not without a bra. Maybe the sensitivity will go down over time, but for now, it's still like sandpaper, and polo material isn't exactly soft. It has a rough texture to it.

 

I feel kind of embarassed to ask, but is this another reason people wear bras? Because it's not like there's a ton to support, but the padding and material that's not rubbing on anything helps me the most.

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Yes, that is totally a reason for wearing bras. No bra + scratchy shirt = ouch!

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1 hour ago, Hadley167 said:

I used to wear polo shirts all the time. I guess I still could now, but 100% certainly not without a bra. Maybe the sensitivity will go down over time, but for now, it's still like sandpaper, and polo material isn't exactly soft. It has a rough texture to it.

 

I feel kind of embarassed to ask, but is this another reason people wear bras? Because it's not like there's a ton to support, but the padding and material that's not rubbing on anything helps me the most.

I've actually been finding some pretty soft polos. Ones made from more of t-shirt material. My chest has very limited sensation at the moment, but the cloth certainly feels nice on my back.

 

But yeah, sensitivity was a big reason why I couldn't go without binding, to the point that it made me a little nervous about choosing a surgical method that allows me to retain sensation. I occasionally tried to layer up in lieu of binding last winter, and my chest felt like it was rubbed raw. It'll probably take a few years before my chest's sensation truly returns to normal, so I'm hoping it won't be as sensitive as it was pre-op since the skin will have time to adapt.

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7 hours ago, Mezzo Forte said:

 

I'm gonna be riding the "I'm super happy that I've had top surgery" wave for quite some time, so be patient with me. :P

 

No worries. :)

I think we're all glad to hear how "super happy" you are! :D

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Today I had one of the very, very rare days when I actually feel feminine and even enjoy it, which is even more rare. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be resentful again of having to play the female, but today I wore a non-sporty skirt with high-ish heels and even a little décolletage and felt great.

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11 hours ago, Hadley167 said:

I used to wear polo shirts all the time. I guess I still could now, but 100% certainly not without a bra. Maybe the sensitivity will go down over time, but for now, it's still like sandpaper, and polo material isn't exactly soft. It has a rough texture to it.

 

I feel kind of embarassed to ask, but is this another reason people wear bras? Because it's not like there's a ton to support, but the padding and material that's not rubbing on anything helps me the most.

I usually wear bras because of the size of my breasts but they also definitely help with preventing .. chafing? is that the word? on my nipples. Last winter I had just wanted to go out to buy stuff at the supermarket and didn't put a bra on and it was cold, so naturally my nipples were kind of hard and after maybe 15min (the store isn't that far away) IT HURT SO MUCH I had to lie still for the whole day. >_> 

 

I went out on Saturday and made some nice pictures of myself! It's really awesome what board shorts + a binder can do but it kind of sucks that this is only temporary. :(

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4 hours ago, miau said:

Today I had one of the very, very rare days when I actually feel feminine and even enjoy it, which is even more rare. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be resentful again of having to play the female, but today I wore a non-sporty skirt with high-ish heels and even a little décolletage and felt great.

Yeah! Go, you!

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I love reading all the positivity in this thread :)

 

Some stuff I like about myself:

- I like my eyes, they're green, with a tiny brown edge around my pupil. They're expressive, and wearing green makes them seem even more so.

- I like my shoulders and my back. They're slightly broader in the sense that they make me look capable (if that makes sense) and stronger, without having the whole 'trained' look.

- I also like my hands. They're pretty small, but the proportions are good, and having thinner hands and fingers makes it relatively easy to do detailed work.

- I like my hair. It's blond, with a slight reddish gleam if it catches the sun. It's pretty thick, and slightly wavy, and currently reaches my shoulders. I can wear it in many different ways, match it to how I'm feeling, so to speak.

 

I'm working on exercising more, again, lately, and that makes me feel good too.

 

Small side note referring to something many pages ago (I was away from AVEN for a few months, so missed all kinds of discussions).. Jayce, did you end up getting a binder from Danae in Amsterdam? How do you find it? I got my first and second binder there, and actually visited them in their workshop for the second one.

 

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I was titled "sir" today in a forum where my face is closely associated with my words! I feel like celebrating a bit. *grins* It doesn't happen much, since I don't usually quibble with my birth gender or attempt to be seen otherwise. Hehehe! 

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2 minutes ago, Ix Phoen said:

I was titled "sir" today in a forum where my face is closely associated with my words! I feel like celebrating a bit. *grins* It doesn't happen much, since I don't usually quibble with my birth gender or attempt to be seen otherwise. Hehehe! 

I got called "sir" yesterday! Second time ever.

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On 6/19/2017 at 5:44 PM, Kelpie said:

with preventing .. chafing? is that the word? on my nipples. Last winter I had just wanted to go out to buy stuff at the supermarket and didn't put a bra on and it was cold, so naturally my nipples were kind of hard and after maybe 15min (the store isn't that far away) IT HURT SO MUCH I had to lie still for the whole day.

Something that will help. Look for adhesive nipple covers like these. I use them frequently when I want to go bra-less or wear something light and thin instead of padding, and I absolutely hate having my nipples jutting out through fabric. Blah.

Even though I purchased skin glue for when the adhesive wears off, I actually haven't needed to use it yet, and I've had them for two and a half years now. If I only wore very loose shirts I might need it, but since I usually wear fitted tank tops I haven't had a problem with them slipping at all, in fact I forget I'm wearing them. They're silicone so they're easy to wash, and they come in a variety of "skin colors" so you don't have to worry about them showing up through your shirt.  (Oh, and if you don't want them to stick to the center, depending on your sensitivity there, I think it would work to carefully dust a little baby powder or cornstarch on the area you don't want the glue to stick, so long as you don't get it on the outside edge.)

 

Anyway, I highly, highly recommend these!!! 

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Realising I'm actually dysphoric is surprisingly a good thing, because I just thought I had some sort of pure-O OCD and spent every night freaking out about it for the last year, after it messed up relationships(for the better, because sex is still gross, guys are still also a little gross to me cause they were always so sexual, but still).

One mental health problem down, sensory sensitivities and undiagnosed aspergers avec terrible emotional regulation still to go. :D

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@Lonemathsytoothbrushthief love your new username! :D have you met @Retrobot yet? I think you two would get along politically fabulously

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3 hours ago, Ix Phoen said:

Anyway, I highly, highly recommend these!!! 

Good to know. I actually think I saw something like this at the fabric store yesterday. I actually don't mind wearing a bra, because it eliminates the chafing issue totally and it helps add a bit of shape and size to my chest.

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@ChillaKilla Thanks! And people I would get along well with politically are always good 8) I'm glad you're back on, let the fun times begin. And I haven't met Retrobot yet, I'm sure it'll happen somewhere on here, though I sadly need to focus on getting started on my dissertation...less than 3 months to go... #executivedysfunction grrrrr. ^_^

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I hated my body because it wasn't very feminine and I thought I had to fit. For the longest time I forced myself to fit even if I didn't wanted it.

 

Now I have found that you don't have to. And what a relief it is. Now I can appreciate my features and accept myself as who I always was, parts that I like and parts that concern me included. Now I'm getting somewhere.

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My friend video chatted me today, to say he wouldn't be able to visit for my birthday. The first thing he said on the video chat was, "wow, you look completely like a woman."

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