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aromantic?


_01_

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I never wanted marriage, kids, even serious boyfriend. When I was little and going to church I was taught that I should marry when I'll grow up. I was thinking about it because I was 'supposed to' and got terrible depression. When I stopped thinking about it I got happy again. Never thought about it since. Thoughts of serious relationships never occured to me of my own choice, only forced by society/church. I just never felt the need. I've never been in relationship by my own choice either, actually a couple of guys kind of forced me! Each time, it was a friend who then suddenly started acting seriously, being jealous, having expectations and acting like he owns me. Uh.

 

Is that aromanticism or something else?
 

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I mean it's sort of against AVEN's ToS to tell you what you are but that certainly doesn't sound romo to me. I'd say aro would possibly be fitting, but it's up to you. ^_^

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It very well could be. Or it could be something else, as @~Syl~ said. There are quite a few romanticisms out there, something else may be a better fit, and you can find out if you're interested.

 

On a side note, screw the asslickers who try to force you into relationships. The bitches can go out and find their own damn dates.

 

It's possible you may find someone in the future you could see yourself with. Even if it's only casual, nothing has to be overly serious if you don't want it to be. That kinda what I'm hoping for. Or, maybe you won't. And if that doesn't bother you, then that's totally fine.

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Syl, good rule, I guess noone is inside my head!

 

Moophie, haha, screw the bitches. Lol, thanks. And the problem is these were liberal guys actually. Still very conservative at heart anyway... I mentioned it to point out that my lack of interest seems to be natural, not due to trauma, etc. I never felt a need, it never occured to me to go and look for the one and only, blabla. I find it very silly. Half of an apple? I feel whole. Also it's not possible to, like, merge with someone. Everyone is separate. Not only in male/female relationships, in friendships, in all relationships. Noone is inside my head. My thoughts, my dreams, I can't share them, show them, give someone the exact same state of consciousness I'm having right now, I can only describe them and these descriptions aren't always accurate. Hence the basic premise of romanticism dies - there's no connection, it's illusory. I actually get traumatized by people forcing me or asking every ten seconds if I have a guy, not by me not having a guy. I hate when people try to figure out who I'm dating, like celebrity gossip or something. Ugh. I don't really want a relationship. The problem is that I'm very, hmmm, sensual. I'm not really sure if I'm asexual at all. But to be fair, I want someone to like touch my face (hah), not necessarily sex itself, not sure. If I'd decide I want to act on my desires it'd still end in some sort of relationship, even if not very serious. And I'm afraid I'd be unhappy and land in a situation that's wrong for me only because of craving touch, you know? The fact that I'm not very mono/faithful isn't helping either, again - might cause situations that aren't good/healthy for me.
 

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 2/25/2017 at 4:53 PM, _01_ said:

I never wanted marriage, kids, even serious boyfriend. When I was little and going to church I was taught that I should marry when I'll grow up. I was thinking about it because I was 'supposed to' and got terrible depression. When I stopped thinking about it I got happy again. Never thought about it since. Thoughts of serious relationships never occured to me of my own choice, only forced by society/church. I just never felt the need. I've never been in relationship by my own choice either, actually a couple of guys kind of forced me! Each time, it was a friend who then suddenly started acting seriously, being jealous, having expectations and acting like he owns me. Uh.

 

Is that aromanticism or something else?
 

That's so crazy. I literally just went through the same kinda thing. (This how I ended up finding AVEN.) I've always known I was asexual. Because I was always around church people it was good not to want sex. But then bad not to want to be married and have kids. A friend of mine saw the depression I was stuck in and told me I might be a lesbian and to at least consider it. The depression lifted but then came back when I realized I was still asexual just attracted to women romantically. I'm coming out of it more and more now that I keep finding people wondering the same kinds of things. I haven't quite figured out all the categories tho. But aromantic sounds about right. Before being open to the idea of being in a relationship with a women I found myself repulsed by relationships to after being forced into them. 

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