Has anyone irl ever asked if/noticed you are asexual?

[korik]

It was my former roommate who introduced me to the term. (suggesting I was Asexual.)

and at least 2 other people probably "knew" ...which I'm basing only on their [somewhat unrelated] comments.

[NothingHereToSee]

I had a really weird experience recently where an old college friend I haven't seen in 20 years moved into town. We've met up a couple of times just to chat and catch up, and out of the blue he just referred to me as an asexual. I was so seriously flabbergasted by this, since I've only started identifying as being on the asexual spectrum for maybe the last year or so, and have only shared this with a couple of people that he has no connection to. Heck, I only discovered this was even a thing at all in the last couple of years.

 

Well... turns out he not only talked to my boyfriend back then all about our sex life (wow I should have dumped that boyfriend so much sooner), but then proceeds to tell me how much he really really enjoyed dropping by my apartment back in those days and just chatting with me because he knew nothing would happen between us. Uhhhh.... presumptuous much? And then, even worse, that he doesn't believe that men and women can ever be friends. But... of course I'm different.

 

Yeah... thanks. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be ignoring any more invitations to meet up.

 

 

[MrDane]

it took me 14+ years to realize my wife was asexual! It took her three times as long. 

[doggalogga]

Nobody has figured it out, although my Dad did have questions because I wasn't chasing the girls.
 

Asexuality results in me lacking confidence in approaching women in general because I'd only be wasting their time.

 

So few people are aware of asexuality, that no, nobody has suggested it or had any inkling. I am actually interested in women. Very interested. That probably gives an impression that I am heterosexual.

 

I guard my asexuality fiercely.

[Anonymous Pillow]

My mom assumed I was ace before I told her, so when I did finally tell her she was just kinda like: "yeah I figured" and it went well. I think some of my other family might assume something too, especially my dad and two sisters around my age. But I haven't actually come out to them yet.

[Tatsuya]

Has never happened. There have been a couple of times where I told someone I was asexual and they knew what I was talking about though.

[GreenCircles]

No one has ever actually said anything to me, but I often wonder if they suspect that I am. I've never told anyone.

[along for the ride]

Never directly, but my friend once asked me if I've ever had a crush, and when I said "no" she gave me a look like she knows what's up

[Guest]

My ex was actually the first to notice! I didnt even know of asexuality until he brought it up as a joke. I remember denying it [not fully understanding] and laughing about it too... And here i am LOOL

[Milolo]

On 2/25/2017 at 1:28 AM, claire97 said:

No, my family instead have asked me many times if I'm lesbian. I know I'm not, but it really bothers me, I don't know why does it have to be suspicious the fact that I have never been in a relationship.

I've had the same dilemma but my family is old fashioned in sexual orientation. I've been in relationships but my awkwardness with PDA just has them assuming I'm a lesbian. The only way they think of asexuality is with worms. 

[Glados]

My friend asked me if i was ace and I had to ask him what it meant, I'd never heard the term before and I'm glad he did because it made so much sense. I think he noticed because there was a group discussion on how attractive a mutual friend was and I said that I didn't think of people in that way. 

 

For some reason I am now a bit more subtle about what I say to people so I'm not so obvious about it

[Mundane Mesh]

Actually yes, and I've mentioned it elsewhere on this site. A friend of mine asked me if I was straight and when I hesitated (since I didn't expect the question) he added "...because I think it seems like you're asexual" (paraphrasing). So I answered "Well, you're not wrong..." (once again; paraphrasing) So that is the only time I've come out irl.

[will123]

Apparently about seven years ago my sister in law told my mother that I was probably gay because I'd never had what you'd call a serious relationship with a female. That being said I had never shown any interest in hooking up with a male either. It really upset my mother and my brother when he found out.

[Tintinfan]

Yes... One of the most awkward conversation as she then asked me about boys in my life and if they where to ask me out... Thanks but no thanks!

[DesiButters519x]

The people I live with, and I am talking about in my outside life not just my family, automatically assume I am a lesbian. When I tell them about asexuality, they automatically snap at me and tell me I am making up things, so I have grown tired of it and just let people assume again. I had my moments as of late, but now I have finally given up. I don't want to lose my sanity over this that should only matter to me. It's so annoying, but it is what it is.

[Chorvus]

I think so.

 

Someone complimented an ace pin I had.

 

Since it's not really the most obvious of things to compliment, I'm assuming that they knew.

[will123]

1 hour ago, Desilu19x said:

The people I live with, and I am talking about in my outside life not just my family, automatically assume I am a lesbian. When I tell them about asexuality, they automatically snap at me and tell me I am making up things, so I have grown tired of it and just let people assume again. I had my moments as of late, but now I have finally given up. I don't want to lose my sanity over this that should only matter to me. It's so annoying, but it is what it is.

That horrible that you have to deal with that crap. 

[Lanti SF]

Yes, after people saw me walking down the street with an ace pride hat. 

(I don't wear it around my sister; she's been suspecting it but I"m not comfortable telling her that I"m out  )

[embracetheace]

I've had quite a few people ask me if I'm gay, because I wasn't interested in guys. But nope, I've never had anyone ask if I'm ace. I recently made myself a pride bracelet and wear it now- so maybe someone will notice we'll see.

[Kai99]

On Tuesday, March 07, 2017 at 0:25 AM, EyeScream said:

I had a really weird experience recently where an old college friend I haven't seen in 20 years moved into town. We've met up a couple of times just to chat and catch up, and out of the blue he just referred to me as an asexual. I was so seriously flabbergasted by this, since I've only started identifying as being on the asexual spectrum for maybe the last year or so, and have only shared this with a couple of people that he has no connection to. Heck, I only discovered this was even a thing at all in the last couple of years.

 

Well... turns out he not only talked to my boyfriend back then all about our sex life (wow I should have dumped that boyfriend so much sooner), but then proceeds to tell me how much he really really enjoyed dropping by my apartment back in those days and just chatting with me because he knew nothing would happen between us. Uhhhh.... presumptuous much? And then, even worse, that he doesn't believe that men and women can ever be friends. But... of course I'm different.

 

Yeah... thanks. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be ignoring any more invitations to meet up.

 

 

I don't see the problem with what he said. He knowing that your asexual, believed that he could hang out with you alone without dealing with the sexual tension that can happen between two individuals. 

 

I use to think guys and girls can be just friends, but now I side with the latter. Not that we cant ( I have a lot of guy friends), but I know many of my guy friends, in the beginning anyways, was aiming to date me when they were trying to get to know me, not be my friend. And while they are good friends, I have no doubt that they would jump at a chance to date me if they weren't friendzone. I know several of my friends who have sex with other friends just for fun so I can understand that perspective of "we can't be just friends."

[ben8884]

My roommate/best friend noticed

[LYL Hazel]

Nobody brought it up with me but, so far, nobody's surprised when I told them either

[Tofruity]

On 2/24/2017 at 1:53 PM, PixieCat said:

I've been asked multiple times. I think people just started to automatically assume it after a while, since I never had any interest in relationships. I was flat-out asked a few times, which was followed by confused online research into the term 'asexual', and someone once told me that saying the best part of Valentine's Day are candy sales was 'a really ace thing to say'. So yeah, I guess I must come off that way to people  

Hey! Excitement over the candy sales is my line!!! Brachs conversation hearts are the best! 

[Correner]

One person guessed I was.

[Sean_Bird]

No, the closest I got was when I told a friend that I'm asexual the other day, and her response was "it took you THAT long to figure out?"

 

Not sure if that means she's shocked that I took so long to figure out my identity, or if it was painfully obvious to her. XD

[Rowan220]

Yes. Last year a friend of mine at school asked me if I was asexual. At the time I didn't know what the term asexual meant so I said no. When I realised I was ace he was one of the first people I told.

[Sean_Bird]

Actually, someone did ask me once several months ago (before I realized that I was asexual). She was demisexual, and for whatever reason we started talking about our views of sex. When I said that sex was "icky" and "gross", she asked if I was asexual, but for some reason I couldn't make the conscious association between the definition and myself, so I answered "no".

[Kassamb]

My best friends, when my discovery to asexualdom started? I mean they asked me about it even before I knew. They really know me so well  

[helana12_03]

Yes, but they were joking.

[MakeupJunkie4]

My cousin didn't know the correct term, but he always knew this about me. I don't mind talking to family about being ace, so when I explained it to him, he said, "yeah, that's accurate for you." He's straight sexual but he's always accepted our differences with great humility. God, I love that kid. 💜