Being Considered Unattractive

[Twigwilter]

As someone who finds it hard to consider anyone ugly unless I actively dislike their personality, if someone thought of me as ugly I would just think them very shallow. I wouldn't see it as a reflection on me at all. I don't think I'm particularly attractive or unattractive to the average person and don't often think about my appearance but I think I'd rather veer towards unattractive than the other way round as I wouldn't enjoy the extra attention good looking people seem to get. I'm blessed with "resting bitch face" too which tends to keep people at bay!

[RK800]

As a young, impressionable child being insulted really hurt my feelings but these days I tend to shrug most insults off. If the insults are creative I find them amusing, if they're poorly thought out or overused I'll say such, but there are few comments which really get under my skin because they remind me of moments better left forgotten.

 

In general though I don't worry much about how I look. I'm covered in small scars, stretch marks, ink, and usually various blisters and scrapes but I try to wear a smile whenever possible. I know my youth will fade, but I can always be kind.

[Roardova]

I constantly look forward to not being sexualized.  A lot of people don't understand me when I say, "I wish I was unattractive."  Being tall, with an average seemingly good build; the kind of build people want that isn't ripped like models but good enough to show that I take care of myself.  With a full beard, a properly shaped giant head, giant hands with a bulge that peaks out no matter what, on top of having a high ass; I get way too much attention that I never want.  That's always the reason why guys get butt hurt when I tell them that I'm asexual & I won't be changing for them because if I haven't been in a relationship now; the chances are for anyone is zilch.  Yet, they are always like, "You are so fine, you are so hot.  Plow me."  Deleting my growlr profile was such a relief, with out the blogging feature; I had no reason to keep it.  Now I don't have to deal with randoms hitting me up for a late night creep that'll never happen.  I even have an over & an under bite but people will over look that cause of my attraction factor.  It's so bad, when I go to bars to hang out with my peeps or the rugby team; I have to pray the entire night that no one grabs my butt or bumps into me on purpose.  :|  I would very much love for somebody to say, "That mind tho!"  Then grab my head & kiss my forehead; I may forever want that, but I feel like that'll never happen...

[deleted_account]

Some days I'm ugly, some days less so. I have high self-esteem, and I don't worry what others think of my looks.

 

I have had days where I thought I looked good, and then I went about my day and came back home. Looking in the mirror, I realized my outfit was completely off, my hair was a mess, or whatever. That's always a disappointment.

 

I've been called "fat", "ugly", "bulld*ke", etc. by people who were trying to hurt me. I've learned to become comfortable with my flaws - I'm not a beauty queen, and I believe that the occasional insult is healthy. It keeps me humble.

[NerotheReaper]

I just play this song for them : 

Spoiler

 

 

Okay in all seriousness, I have learned not to care what others think of me. I am considered attractive well according to other people, and I have learned to accept how I look in a sense. Sure I envy others of certain things, but the important thing is to love yourself. 

[Sea Lemon]

For me it really depends on who it is. If it's just some stranger on the street I just tell them to fuck off, and move on with my life. But if it's someone I know then it'd hurt, especially if it's someone I'm close to, because chances are they know that I don't like the way I look and that I'd be far more likely to take their opinion to heart.

[Tainted]

Mostly like my self image is about on par. I say that I would consider myself plain but that's more of a calculated statement.

 

I am nothing special to look at, I think most people would be critical, but that's ok, cos for some reason I've already found someone that apparently finds me attractive *shrugs*

 

There are a few people it would devastate me to hear it from though.

[chair jockey]

My self-opinion comes from myself and not from other people. I see myself as a normal-looking man no matter what anyone else says about it.

[J. van Deijck]

honestly, I don't know.

 

I definitely don't like being "sexualised" in any way, I feel I'm far beyond that. but I have no problem with being considered aesthetically attractive. it's a "safe" kind of attraction to me.

I don't even know if others find me attractive or not. people usually think I have a pretty face, but then, most of them think I'm a woman. I know my facial features are not extremely masculine (that's problably the most confusing thing, my appearance, because based on personality stereotypes, I am a very typical male). I wouldn't say my face is feminine, though - rather androgynous, but apparently other people "know better".

what may keep people far from me is probably my style, though. as an industrial goth, I'm a rather 'misunderstood' one and this style is pretty 'out of this world', which will either attract other people or completely turn them off.

so, in conclusion, I don't really have a clue how others perceive me, and honestly, I don't really care. the only people whose opinion really matters to me are those I consider my friends.

[PeridotStar]

I think it would only really bother me if it came in the way of me getting a job--like, being unfairly judged on physical appearance. Also I would be pretty bummed out if someone I was interested in didn't think I was pleasing to the eye. I don't care about it in a sexual sense, but I like pretty people and I would hope that a potential partner would be able to appreciate me just a bit. Like, at least like my eyes or something haha

[chair jockey]

2 minutes ago, PeridotStar said:

I think it would only really bother me if it came in the way of me getting a job--like, being unfairly judged on physical appearance. Also I would be pretty bummed out if someone I was interested in didn't think I was pleasing to the eye. I don't care about it in a sexual sense, but I like pretty people and I would hope that a potential partner would be able to appreciate me just a bit. Like, at least like my eyes or something haha

 

I knew of one workplace and one industry where attractive female was an unofficial job criterion, although the work was unrelated to appearance. I can't be specific because I don't have real evidence, but the industry had many senior dirty old men and the workplace was owned by a dirty old man. I didn't hear of any improprieties at work, but it still bothered me that many women couldn't get those jobs, and men couldn't get them at all.

[Megan81159]

I don't really care. I actually tend to find it genuinely funny because it has always comes from someone who I know is being honest and still values me regardless of how I look. My brother calls me ugly and says I dress like a hobo all the time, and I find it hilarious and love him for it. I've never had someone call me ugly who was actually trying to be mean or was insensitive, but if that does happen, I probably still won't care that much. I've never put much stock into appearance. I find my value in simply being a human being and a beloved part of my biological and spiritual Christian family.

[SorryNotSorry]

On February 21, 2017 at 7:32 PM, RedSheep2 said:

If someone thought you were ugly, how would you feel? Hurt/rejected? Indifferent? Satisfied because there's a decreased chance of being sexualized?

 

OR would it highly depend on whose opinion it was? 

I've felt ugly my whole life (I look like Benito Mussolini, but with hair). In school, other kids thought I had a face like a turtle's because my jaw didn't start filling out until my beard came in.

 

But big freakin' deal... I'd pick a vivid imagination over looks any day. I've never heard of an imaginative supermodel.

[Topi]

I've been bullied during all my childhood, mostly about my appearance. At first it hurt. I would cry every day, say I didn't want to leave home. Beg my parents to not go to school, but as I grew up, I decided to just not care. If people like how I look, well they like, if don't... Just don't look and their eyes won't be hurt.

 

Because, of the bullying, I pretty much believe I'm unattractive and even if people say otherwise, I have a hard time believing them. So, actually, it's more easy for me to accept that I'm ugly than that I'm pretty and attractive.

[Guest]

At one point I might have cared more about others perceiving me as unattractive, but honestly what does it matter for?  If you think I'm ugly (or, rather, intimidating), okay, fine, that's your opinion.  Do I care?  If I respect you as a person, maybe, otherwise no.  How does your opinion of me impact my life?  It doesn't ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

What it comes down to?  Just exist as you are and as makes you feel most comfortable with yourself.  

[ChillaKilla]

Ask them if they need their eyes checked  Then go home and privately obsess over it and probably devolve into picking at my face for hours 

[J. van Deijck]

honestly, when I was a kid, I was bullied and called ugly as well. and now it sits in my head... except that I've become a beautiful adult out of an ugly child.

[LVG]

If someone thinks I'm ugly, that's their prerogative. I won't lose any sleep over it. 

[chair jockey]

I'm back to confess something. In tenth grade a girl moved from Montreal and ended up at the same two-seater desk as me in Biology class. Insecure and mentally ill boy here felt so threatened that I (completely inaccurately) told her she was ugly. Stunned silence through the whole room but nothing else until she straightforwardly, in a normal tone of voice, told me she didn't agree. I don't recall contact with her after that. When it comes to my mind I still feel like shit about it.

[Strawberry ice cream]

During my high school years I was considered unattractive. It hurted me so much. It lasted quite long time to recover my self confidence. Now I'm completely satisfied with how I look. I consider myself unique and actually everone is no? I hate the concept of mainstream beauty

 

[Tatsuya]

Hm... some college kid said I looked like a forty year old recently, but he was being a salty prick after I told him he needed to learn some personal finance skills. I was a little shocked, but later on I realized he has a habit of going from sweet to sour over the slightest disagreements.

 

High school was awful though. I'm just naturally androgynous, so it doesn't take much effort on my part to look like I'm crossdressing. When people weren't shouting "are you a boy or a girl?" at me or asking in genuine horror if I was "turning into one of those transgender people", they were telling me to go eat a sandwich or asking if I'd ever head of breakfast. I'm slender, but I don't think I look particularly anorexic. The two actual anorexic girls in school flew under the radar almost completely unnoticed because everyone was preoccupied with me.

 

The first thing didn't bother me that much, although it did get repetitive. At some point I gave up and started crossdressing for real. HAH. Showed them! The second one still skeeves me. I get annoyed just thinking about it, because unlike the first thing it's not something I can easily turn into a point of pride and weight is such a touchy issue with so many people.

[Krakennicole]

I have a plain face and an average figure. I dress in largely t-shirts and jeans, and when I wear dresses, it's because I want to. Honestly, I'm pretty sure people do find me unattractive, but I don't really care. 

The only person whose opinion (on my appearance) I care about is myself. 

Everyone else can go screw themselves because I certainly will not be doing it.

[UglySlothFace]

I actually recently had a very interesting conversation about beauty with a classmate, where he admitted he thinks I'm ugly. He felt safe to say it since I had already mentioned how I don't consider myself attractive compared to society's standards, and he was agreeing with that. I say "society' standards" because not everyone shares the same idea of beauty, of course. 

 

My partner, for example, has a thing for monsters and ugly creatures, which is further a reason he likes me. I'm beautiful in his eyes exactly because I'm ugly. It's a bit late here so I don't know if that makes any sense, but I find the topic of beauty really interesting.

But yes, I've been called ugly quite a lot. It used to hurt in the past, but now it's just part of who I am. No big deal.

[Grumpy Alien]

I'm not beautiful but I wish I was so it's hurtful that most people find me ugly. Facts of life though 

[NoLongerActive1234]

It wouldn't be fun to hear at all (although I'd get uncomfortable being viewed at favorably just because of how I look) but if it was only some stranger then I'd shake it off. However if it would be my partner, friends, family... someone I respect, care about and looked up to then that would sting and hurt a lot because I'd value their opinion so much.

[swirl_of_blue]

I would prefer to be considered attractive, at least by my partner if I had one. Even if there's nothing sexual I know I myself still like to look and can be very much aesthetically attracted and so hope that at least someone would like looking at me too. However, I won't stray from the way I want myself to look to become more attractive: I wear what I think looks good on me, not what is fashionable. I don't use makeup even when wearing formal dresses. I am trying to make my very feminine body look more muscular and athletic. I try to look what I would consider attractive but I don't know if anyone else in the world would lie that. About whether anyone likes the way I look, I have no idea! I have only gotten comments from two people in my whole life: my mother and my first boyfriend. Mother has said I am not what could be considered beautiful but that I could have a nice body, while first bf thought I was ugly in every sense (bad face, too fat). I would actually love to know what people honestly think about my looks, but just going around asking would feel weird and I wouldn't trust anyone I know to be honest. I have considered taking photos with my face blurred so I can't be identified and posting them on Reddit or something and seeing what people think, but I haven't done that so far.

[Blackthorn]

I hate the mainstream idea of beauty that is forced on us by others and the media.

 

I am probably considered unattractive and was bullied at school for being ugly / having ginger hair.  I feel uncomfoartable when people make favourable comments about my appearance as I always wonder if they are having a joke at my expense.  I don't wear make-up or feminine clothes as it just doesn't feel like me.  I have been told in the past by some people that I should try wearing a dress - these people can jog on.

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

I'm with @Blackthorn, being unfeminine in my choice of look. At school I was the geek, so I thankfully wasn't on anyone's radar which was great. The sporadic times through my life when anyone found me attractive, I hated it. These days, I'm old enough to have gone off the radar again, so I'm happy about that. 

 

I find that the people who are concerned too much about how they look, are often insecure and easily swayed into daft fashions (these weird painted on eyebrows being a point in case). I think it's better just to be happy with who you are, nature needs no improvement.

[Guest]

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[Krakennicole]

On 3/12/2017 at 4:43 AM, Graceful said:

I'm not beautiful but I wish I was so it's hurtful that most people find me ugly. Facts of life though 

A mean kid told me in middle school that he made a list of the most attractive people in the class and that I was the second ugliest. I wasn't very confident at the time so I cried and he never apologized, even after people told him to.