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cuddling???


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I assume that I would enjoy cuddling. 

 

I have cuddled with one person frequently, in the distant past, but I barely have any impression of what it was even like. I don't know if I like cuddling??

 

it can be nice to hug a person - but it's usually just awkward and I don't like the whole thing lol. I'm having a hard time imagining if I would like cuddling, and I don't currently have opportunities to find out if I do. 

 

 

 

so I am requesting - can you offer reasoning or experiential accounts, for why you like cuddling, why I could like cuddling? 

 

thanks friends :)

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Diamond Ace of Hearts

hmmm... That's a difficult one. I rarely hug non-relatives. I do like hugging my friends and I had this hyper-vivid fantasy or hallucination of being cuddled by my crush the other week and I liked that, apart from knowing it wasn't real, but I'm socially awkward and unbelievably introverted so I'm not really a regular hugger.

 

I cant explain why I like it. It's just something about being allowed into someone else's space, knowing they're comfortable having you there. If it's someone you are emotionally attached to who needs a hug due to overwhelming emotion, there's sometimes this odd sensation that you can physically feel their emotions crashing down on you. For me there is anyway. It feels good, shouldering that burden. I guess a loving hug has a similar effect, without the shouldering a burden part, and more of the comfortable in each other's space part. Cuddling's like the pro version of that right?

 

Lot's of people say I give good hugs, maybe that's why I like it? Or maybe it's because I like it?

 

Nope. I've had a decent-length post exploring it now and I still don't know how to explain it. But I like hugs and I'm relatively sure I like cuddles.

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With the right person, it's very soothing...  feeling your nerve endings slid along,  with the wrong person it's wretched...

the softness, the warmth...  the right person can burn you alive....    just that they care...... 

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FemmeFalconer

I'm pretty sure it is not a universal answer; however, I can offer my thoughts on the idea. I like the idea of cuddling, but the actual act and execution of it is a little more difficult.

 

I've never been a close contact person and honestly haven't been much interested in anyone sexually or romantically further than the friend status. That being said, I have had relationships and, other than their company, have never really liked cuddling or being that close for a certain amount of time, but almost all of the people I was with at the time loved being close (probably why we never worked out). I did try cuddling and just figured it wasn't for me.

There is one relationship (ended up marrying him) that was different because I actually liked being with him (he is completely supportive and understanding of my sexual orientation). Cuddling for me is hugging him constantly. It's like my favorite thing to do with him and it just comes with the greatest feeling of comfort and love... it really is hard to explain and there isn't anything that beats it for me personally.

 

You kind of have to figure out what you like when with someone and what you don't. I don't think you will have the same cuddling experiences with everyone you try it with, but it definitely is something you have to learn for yourself.

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1 hour ago, Every Red Heart Shines said:

the actual times I've had people offer to cuddle with me,

How does that work? Do you actually discuss it beforehand? Do people come up and say "Hey, wanna cuddle?" or something like that?

 

I "always" (" " because it didn't happen THAT often) had my cuddle sessions evolve naturally. Sitting next to each other... then someone puts an arm around the other person... eventually turns around... both arms around back now (but that's kind of uncomfy so lower part of body gets turned around also... sitting on my lap is optional, but I'm okay with it... and then, just silence but for a sigh every now and then. Hands may wander up and down the back.

 

I don't know if it would still be accurate. It has been years.

 

I like hugs and cuddles because I can express something without having to talk. That's nice because I'm utter bull at organizing my thoughts in real time. It's just me and the other person and no words need to be spoken and that this is totally okay.

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I like being friendly and cosy with people.

I don't particularly like intimacy and sex.

 

Cuddling is a nice compromise.

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NerotheReaper

Cuddles make me happy, because I just feel safe when someone is holding me. I have trust issues so I don't cuddle with just anyone, so when I do decide i am comfortable with someone for them to hold me it is pretty special. 

 

Now I want cuddles....

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14 minutes ago, fiѕh said:

...it's warm? ._.

Yes. Body temperature of 2 people plus clothes (which kind of work as extra layers, both ways). It's warm.

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All the little Lights

I like cuddling family members sometimes. But I also don't like it very much with people I'm not close with. It belongs to my fantasies and dreams (I mean literal dreams) to cuddle, be stroked over my hair, lay my head on someone's lap or the other way around. When something like that really happened though, I didn't like it very much. But I enjoy it in my fantasies.

When I just need comfort, often it's easier to have a blanket or a stuffed animal around than a person, because the emotions aren't there. No one is asking me what's wrong, just giving me the physical touch I need.

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1 hour ago, Homer said:

How does that work? Do you actually discuss it beforehand? Do people come up and say "Hey, wanna cuddle?" or something like that?

 

there have been (all defunct now) 3 cuddling apps...  spoonr, cuddlr, cuddlebids

there is a company; snugglebuddies, that is well known  $80 an hour--    
there are forums on facebook and fetlife both, for promoting cuddles to one degree or another..  there are cuddle parties, and cuddle groups on meetup.com

yes,  you can just ask.....    you can also try on the platonic section of craigslist..  

Last, likely best, but as popular and well known as any asexual dating site;
there is a 'dating' sorta site, https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/about-us

it has a mixture of pro & just for friends options,  not enough people in my immediate area, but I keep hoping.

BTW?  I'm in SOUTH JERSEY(exit 30 gsp), if anyone is up for it,  I am..  I'm kinda not comfortable with masculine presenting folk in this,
but I'm pretty open otherwise....  feel free to PM me, I can host, I can travel.



 

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Cuddles are warm! They help me communicate affection without using words, because words can be difficult. Bonding with people I care about! Oxytocin!

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Anthracite_Impreza

When I cuddle my cars I can literally melt right onto them, it's so comforting and relaxing <3

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2 hours ago, strangeman said:
Spoiler

there have been (all defunct now) 3 cuddling apps...  spoonr, cuddlr, cuddlebids

there is a company; snugglebuddies, that is well known  $80 an hour--    
there are forums on facebook and fetlife both, for promoting cuddles to one degree or another..  there are cuddle parties, and cuddle groups on meetup.com

yes,  you can just ask.....    you can also try on the platonic section of craigslist..  

Last, likely best, but as popular and well known as any asexual dating site;
there is a 'dating' sorta site, https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/about-us

it has a mixture of pro & just for friends options,  not enough people in my immediate area, but I keep hoping.

BTW?  I'm in SOUTH JERSEY(exit 30 gsp), if anyone is up for it,  I am..  I'm kinda not comfortable with masculine presenting folk in this,
but I'm pretty open otherwise....  feel free to PM me, I can host, I can travel.

 

I thought that @Every Red Heart Shines talked about a friend she already knew, rather than one of those cuddling parties. (Besides that, they wouldn't work for me)

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I definitely bite. 

 

I'd say not hard, but I have bited hard b4. 

 

 

I checked out cuddle comfort and there's a cuddle group on meetup.com. but IDK... it's awkward trying to use "Dating" sites, and meetup.com I've had bad experiences with lol. sigh. 

 

plus.... as usuallly. when I get faced with the reality of meeting a person, Ibackoff

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43 minutes ago, Homer said:

I thought that @Every Red Heart Shines talked about a friend she already knew, rather than one of those cuddling parties. (Besides that, they wouldn't work for me)

nor i..  but for some the myriad of options may be useful...
For me, for my purposes...  the cuddling has to be organic..   I have/can ask a friend..  and found satisfaction of it.
I've not been to a cuddleparty, I expect I'd find it overwhelming....

But--  kinda like paying as hooker for love does not work,  paying for cuddle buddies does not either....

--cuddlecomfort sources?  at least they genuinely want to..  it's a choice, not a job....  

 

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1 hour ago, Muledeer said:

I don't like cuddling. 

Same here. I don't mind hugging, or embracing. But cuddling? *shudders* I guess it's too long for me. Also, get off of me. I can't sleep. >.<

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Ace ♠ At ♠ Archery

I like cuddling because it's that person showing you they care about you and love you. :wub:

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I don't like physical contact very much cause I'm pretty awkward with expressing affection in the first place and I'm not a very cuddly looking person (stoic facial features, relatively large physique). Plus my personality is a bit prickly. I'll do it if I have to, but there's been quite a few times where people get touchy with me just to have a laugh at my expense or purposefully make me uncomfortable. Kinda soured my impressions of intimate contact. 

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I've had close relationships with my cousins and godsons when they were younger, and cuddled them frequently. Cuddling with kids doesn't  carry any of the sexual "baggage" that intimate cuddling with adults does, so it's much easier. I might be open to  cuddling with another ace, though.

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13 hours ago, Every Red Heart Shines said:

I assume that I would enjoy cuddling. 

 

I have cuddled with one person frequently, in the distant past, but I barely have any impression of what it was even like. I don't know if I like cuddling??

 

it can be nice to hug a person - but it's usually just awkward and I don't like the whole thing lol. I'm having a hard time imagining if I would like cuddling, and I don't currently have opportunities to find out if I do. 

 

 

 

so I am requesting - can you offer reasoning or experiential accounts, for why you like cuddling, why I could like cuddling? 

 

thanks friends :)

I don't hug people all that often if i can help it, even my own parents. The only person I have a consistent desire to cuddle or hug is my partner and in that case, I absolutely love the cuddling. He's normally big spoon when we sleep and I'm big spoon when we're on the couch (too many incidents of me elbowing him in the balls loooool love is pain). Assuming that that I'm not already fighting off a sweat, cuddling is comfortable and should feel like having a blanket wrapped around you. Ideally, it's comfortable. Some kissing is acceptable. 

 

i looked up "cuddling styles" in google images and got a bunch of weird photos of people cuddling One Direction 

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10 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

When I cuddle my cars I can literally melt right onto them, it's so comforting and relaxing <3

Oh  man..WHY DID YOU JUST MENTION THAT??? Now i wish i could cuddle my favourite car.... *Shakes fist* :P

 

I'm touch averse so cuddling humans isn't a great option for me. I don't mind a hug here and there.. but don't really feel comfortable if i have to do that each week.

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Anthracite_Impreza
15 minutes ago, Jayce said:

Oh  man..WHY DID YOU JUST MENTION THAT??? Now i wish i could cuddle my favourite car.... *Shakes fist* :P

You'll have to get in line, behind me ;)

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Personally I find hugging or cuddling makes me feel safe and comforted if it's with someone I trust like a family member or close friend. It doesn't happen often because my family are all far away and most of my friends aren't really the hugging kind, but it's nice when it does.

But yeah, I guess it all depends on how awkward you feel about being touched. 

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Sunflowerfield

I love cuddling, although it's something hard to explain rationally. It feels very instinctive. It brings a sense of safety, relaxation, nurturing, soothing and warmth. It makes me feel loved and cared for. I remember when I first started cuddling regularly, all the oxytocin and brain chemicals made it feel very euphoric and intense. I'm more used to it now but still love it. I could cuddle every day, probably for a few hours. :D

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