saraha13 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Hi. So don't really know where to start - I'm a 26 year old female and I'm asexual heteroromantic. I've been a member of AVEN for a few months but have been too nervous to post anything. I learned of the term asexual when I was a sophomore in college (about 19 or 20 y/o) and the second I heard the term I knew that that was me - I finally had a word to explain what I had been feeling and experiencing my whole life. However, I tried to not be asexual (which I realize is silly as I know it is not a choice but I still tried). That was okay for a while but now that I'm a little older it's gotten much harder. Most of my friends are in serious relationships, are engaged, or are married and so my asexual identify is more salient in my mind. That's something I want for myself. In the past, I love when guys are interested in me and I'm interested in them but the farthest I've ever gotten in a relationship (besides one long term relationship in high school/beginning of college) is a few dates. After that I always feel like the topic of sex is going to come up and I'm not ready to talk about it with people so I find some way to get out of the relationship (yes, I realize avoiding the subject by ending any potential relationship is unhealthy, I'm working on it). I've told one close friend that I'm asexual (she herself might be demisexual so it was a little easier to tell her than other people), but other than that, I haven't told anyone and don't talk about it with people. I know I need to, because I'm having a harder and harder time dealing with the fact that I'm asexual especially since there is so much talk about sex around me all the time. I guess I'm kinda hoping that being apart of this site and this community will help me start to come to terms with my identity and to be able to deal with it in a positive, healthy way. I rationally know that it is normal to be asexual but emotionally I still feel so abnormal. Anyway, that's about it for now. Sorry if that is depressing! I promise I'm actually a pretty happy person expect when it comes to accepting my asexuality. P.S. I learned about the term asexuality in an education class. We were learning about it because the professor wanted to make sure everyone in the class, mostly all future teachers, knew about all different types of sexual orientations and gender identities to be understanding and serve all different kinds of students. So that makes me happy. I hope there are more education classes that are teaching about asexuality Link to post Share on other sites
Hiltibrant Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Welcome to AVEN, glad to have you here! That's awesome that your professor covered asexuality, I rarely heard it get talked about outside of here and among my friends who I've come out to. I'm sure you will find being here a good way to become comfortable with who you are, I know I still sometimes struggle with feeling like I'm abnormal, but knowing there are others just like you really helps. I wish you luck on your journey! Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Welcome to AVEN! Thank you for joining and sharing your story with us! : ) That's awesome about how you learned about asexuality. And I'm glad that you got up the courage to post! We're a really supportive and friendly bunch, so don't hesitate to ask questions or post what's on your mind. It can take a while to accept a part of your identity...but you're not alone. I wish you the best, and I hope you enjoy being a member! Link to post Share on other sites
Ace ♠ At ♠ Archery Posted February 22, 2017 Share Posted February 22, 2017 Welcome, before joining AVEN I also tried to stop myself being asexual and I was just making myself feel bad for no reason. I hope you enjoy it here and have a great day. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Struggling to get out of a relationship because of sex is one of the most awkward things ever did. I hope being around others like yourself helps you out. I'm not going to limit myself to offering cake so have a cookie too. Life's too short for only one kind of sweet. Link to post Share on other sites
CitizenSmith Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 Hello! I joined around New Years but only got around to introducing myself this week. I'm in a similar boat. Literally every day I see a new person in my contact circle coupling up, getting married, or having kids. I had a long journey to finding out I was asexual and I am still sorting out how it fits into my broader identity. I think I always knew subconsciously but didn't start thinking about my sexuality until my mid-20's. Living overseas in Japan I saw a lot of my fellow expats struggling with long 'droughts' while I was perfectly content and unbothered. Coming back to the United States after years living in a conservative part of Japan was quite jarring. People I barely knew would start discussing their sex lives with me in public and would ask prying, personal questions. In graduate school, there were several hilarious instances of social acrobatics as I contorted myself out of disclosing my lack of a love life. Glad you found your way here! Have some cake! Link to post Share on other sites
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