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Where would I lie in terms of sexual orientation?


ratisse

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Hey there. I was wondering what you'd classify me as sexually. I already know I'm a grey romantic, but sexually it seems a little confusing. I was thinking either pansexual, grey-sexual or both.

I like the act of sex very much, can have sexual encounters with men and women, but rarely feel intense sexual attraction. I rarely get boners without sexual activity first happening. Porn doesn't really do it for me. 

My sex drive is pretty non existent when I'm sober, but definitely kicks in when I've been drinking.

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HI! I think the grey-asexual term suits you very much! You can also continue exploring yourself with or without a label. People definitely do that. Don't worry about it too much!

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If you frequently desire and enjoy having sex for the sake of sex, I'd say that's probably just plain old sexual. From what you've written, it doesn't sound like there's anything grey about your experiences to me. If by "sexual attraction" you mean "getting aroused by looking at people," that's not a universal experience among sexuals anyway. That's just my opinion, though.

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2 hours ago, ratisse said:

I was thinking either pansexual, grey-sexual or both.

Well, the latter would be both, they're not two different things; it'd just be "normal Pansexual or Gray-Pansexual."

 

Rarely feeling intense sexual attraction is irrelevant, and so is rarely getting boners without sexual activity and porn not doing anything for you; you still desire sex. Gray-sexual is for people who desire sex under unusual cercomstances/at abnormal points in time; after an abnormal amount of time, very sparatically, etc. There is a spectrum among allosexual people too (i.e. non-asexual and non-Gray spectrum, i.e. normal sexual people), and not fitting the norm doesn't mean someone's not allosexual. So your situation may be unique, but i dont see anything that would put you on the Gray scale.

 

And @Law of Circles is right; getting aroused by seeing someone doesn't automatically mean you want sex with them and thus can still mean the person is asexual, but this wouldn't really be sexual attraction (which by dictionary definition is "attractiveness on the basis of sexual desire/[fully translated from simplified words] a quality that evokes the impulse to have sex with someone").

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21 hours ago, Star Bit said:

Well, the latter would be both, they're not two different things; it'd just be "normal Pansexual or Gray-Pansexual."

 

Rarely feeling intense sexual attraction is irrelevant, and so is rarely getting boners without sexual activity and porn not doing anything for you; you still desire sex. Gray-sexual is for people who desire sex under unusual cercomstances/at abnormal points in time; after an abnormal amount of time, very sparatically, etc. There is a spectrum among allosexual people too (i.e. non-asexual and non-Gray spectrum, i.e. normal sexual people), and not fitting the norm doesn't mean someone's not allosexual. So your situation may be unique, but i dont see anything that would put you on the Gray scale.

 

And @Law of Circles is right; getting aroused by seeing someone doesn't automatically mean you want sex with them and thus can still mean the person is asexual, but this wouldn't really be sexual attraction (which by dictionary definition is "attractiveness on the basis of sexual desire/[fully translated from simplified words] a quality that evokes the impulse to have sex with someone").

I thought it was under certain circumstances.

Like for me, I do feel sexual desire, but sexual attraction not so much. Most of my sexual encounters have been because of alcohol. There's something in the intoxication that makes me want to act on the fact that I'm temporarily seeing others in a different light. When I'm sober though I could take it or leave it for the most part

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Correct, Gray-sexual is desiring sex under certain circumstances, but unusual ones. By sexual desire you mean you desire sex but dont feel sexual attraction that often? That's normal; not everyone experiences sexual attraction and some experience it rarely. Desiring sex period is what makes a person sexual. You said nothing about only being able to act on your sexual desire when drunk in the opening post; otherwise i wouldn't have said there was nothing Gray about you. Being a sex indifferent sexual (indifferent to satisfying your desire for sex) can be put under Gray-sexual, and i guess only fully desiring sex while drunk could too (though I've never heard of it before).

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