Arousal overcomes disgust of sex?

[FunkyAce]

So, I don't think I'm sex repulsed. When I watched porn, I felt nothing, like watching two animals doing it on animal planet. And when people talk about it, I feel bored. Now I try to be interested to be supportive of my friends. I want them to feel comfortable talking about sex with me because I now understand it's a critical part of their human experience but there are just some things I can't help but be grossed out by. Like my friend explained to me what a glory hole was and he said I looked grossed out. I only felt mildly grossed out, but not to the point of feeling uncomfortable. Isn't a glory hole a gross thing? (#2 http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=glory+hole) I shouldn't be judged for thinking that's gross, right? In the bathroom, that seems unsanitary and not being able to see the person leaves so much uncertainty in an uncomfortable way. I just don't get it... I read this article that I think explains my "disgust" (which I mean in a very mild sense) pretty well. I have no sexual desire to overcome the grossness that is sex, so I shouldn't be judged for thinking that certain things are gross. Like blow jobs don't gross me out or make me uncomfortable, but the thought of having someone's genitals in my mouth just seems unsanitary. I don't think that I will ever stop thinking that. I just don't have this desire that makes me overcome my "disgust". Just looking for some validation because I get judged a lot but I think people are just misinterpreting my feelings as something totally different, innocence. Opposing views are welcome too. Here's the article:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/12/arousal-disgust-sex-study_n_1877743.html

[Myssterry]

I can't use the term glory hole any more?

 

I guess lots of people would remain disgusted with that sort of practice and oral sex too, but if consenting adults want to do it in private that's fine, of course.  People should only ever do what they feel comfortable with, and ignore the judgements of others for being a prude or whatever.  That includes not doing anything sexually if that is what suits you.

[FemmeFalconer]

The article is very interesting, but I think the results would differ if they did multiple controlled studies that included all sexual orientations. I'm not really sure why they only used women, there are some men who are equally disgusted by sex. I would be curious to see if the results came out the same for men. Honestly, all of those things grossed me out except for the cookie (but if there was a bite taken out of it, count me out!) and I'm almost 100% sure arousal would not change my mind. Most likely from my lack of arousal or lack of its ability to alter what I find disgusting.

 

As for you being judged, it seems more common than you might think. Even non-asexual people can be disgusted by certain sexual acts. I don't think anyone should judge you on your preferences. I personally am not disgusted by sex rather uninterested or indifferent; however, there are certain acts during sex that I find completely disgusting or uncomfortable. Most of this comes from friends conversations that I hate finding myself stuck in. I will admit that when hearing conversations of one night stands or casual sex it drives me crazy. I don't care what people are doing, but I am so confused on how anyone can sleep with someone and be that close in contact with someone they don't know. Just the thought of having their body that close to you is repulsive to me. 

 

Don't worry too much about the validation. Just remember that different people like (or don't like) certain things and there isn't anything wrong with that.

[fiѕh]

...glory holes are kinda gross.

[binary suns]

yeah, glory holes are gross. 

 

yeah, arousal can overcome repulsion. not everyone, but I think it's usual? not sure.

 

No, don't feel judged just because you don't like certain things. people will generally be like "omg what you don't like what I like???" but don't mistake that for you needing to feel ashamed xD That is just diversity of opinion, and exaggeration of reply. no need to think it reflects on your person in any way. you know you, they know them, and you're each an individual

[FunkyAce]

My friend and I were having a conversation about why everyone thinks I'm innocent and he said "Well, you seemed grossed out when we were talking about glory holes". When people call me innocent, it feels like they just don't understand me as an asexual and how much it affects me in daily life. There's so much pressure to be knowledgeable about sex and to like all that is sexual, otherwise you are innocent. I think it comes from the idea that people who deny what is natural for them and what they would enjoy are innocent. Which I kinda agree with. I think those people are denying what is natural for them and that shows a lack of maturity and strength to overcome social barriers. But it's completely different for me as an asexual. Sexual acts/desires are not natural for me, so I shouldn't be expected to be interested or unphased by discussions or images of sex. All my friends say they are accepting of my sexuality, but they don't understand that they are not when I talk about it. They look at me with judgement and get uncomfortable when I talk about my unhappiness or discomfort revolving around sex or romance as if it is immoral to not enjoy those things. I want my friends to accept and understand me, but I don't know how to call them out for being judgmental.

[Fox6]

Yes, arousal can overcome disgust. Even more if they are in the middle of sexual activity. People will do things that they never would otherwise. And evolutionary is makes sense.