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So, what now?


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hello everyone, it's great to be posting on such a welcoming platform

so, I have posted once here before, and since then I am not as nervous being on this site anymore. seeing all the support and explanations being given helped me come to terms with the idea of me being an asexual. since then, I have unfortunately broken up with my partner. I did not think it was fair to them since they didn't know what they where getting themselves into with me and I needed time to process. the thing is, I'm still very confused. What now?

 

 I don't know how I should present myself towards other people since I found out about this. I don't know if it's a good idea or necessary to come out. I don't know if people would take me seriously and I don't want people to think I'm making up a "new" sexuality to appear like some "special snowflake". not to mention the way the few I have told treating me almost as an adolescent because of the way I tried to explain how I felt towards sex. Will this reduce my chances with potential partners? will I have to explain that I do not feel exactly the same urges? will I have to have to use an umbrella term like "demi-sexual" or "Gray" as an orientation for convenience sake, or do I try to explain that I do not know what I feel at the risk of loosing what few who would be willing to "wait" for me to come around? I personally think I could maybe become sexual if I was with a partner long enough or I could remain inactive until the day I die and I think I'd be happy. I know I am also sex positive, The thing is; I just don't really want or think about sex with anyone, even partners. it is very confusing.

 

At this moment in time, I do not know or understand myself what label I fall under. In this moment in time, I don't know how i should present myself to people, but I would like to know what other more experienced members think. thank you for reading my post :) 

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Hello and welcome to AVEN! Or welcome back, I guess. ^_^ I'm glad you decided to come back, and that you feel more comfortable here now!

 

It's perfectly fine to not use labels. If you want to find a label for yourself, it's okay to take the time to find the right one, or to use one label at one time and a different one later on. I'd just say to present yourself however you feel most comfortable, whether that stays the same or not. 

 

If you're looking for friends or want to talk about anything, feel free to PM me! Enjoy the forums!

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Welcome back to AVEN! :cake: I'm so glad you found this awesome community helpful. : ) Take your time searching and just go with what feels right to you.

 

I'm going to move this thread from WL to Questions about Asexuality so you can hopefully get some more specific advice! Best wishes! :cake:

-kelico, Welcome Lounge Moderator

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