will123 Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 Reading a couple of recent comments on my “Advice” thread and the following situation that I was in came to mind. (Not sure if this is the right forum for the content, so if one of the mods feels it needs to be moved, I have no problem). In the late 90s when I had a renter, a couple that was mutual friends of me and my renter “Rick”, separated. “Krista” and a female friend would drop in occasionally to visit Rick. I worked shifts and kept myself busy so I wasn’t home much during the evenings. I’m not sure, but I kind of think that Krista was interested in Rick. In chatting with him after their visits, Rick seemed to talk more about the friend than Krista. I don’t know if he ever “hooked up” with either of the girls. I don’t think Rick had any intentions for Krista since her husband was a friend of his. Well one weekend I was still in the city because I had a Saturday night wedding and reception to attend. The renter was out of town for the weekend. I hadn’t been home from work for long when Krista pulled up in her car, she was alone. When she knocked on the door, I asked her in and we chatted. She asked where Rick was. I told her that he was away until Sunday night. She seemed quite diasppointed. It was as this point I figured she was looking to get laid. A couple of thoughts came to mind, bail on the wedding and see how the evening played out. Seeing as I was a virgin, maybe I could spend the night with her. While these thoughts floated around in my brain, my good and bad conscious appeared. My good side won out as if I had blown off the wedding I would’ve had to come up with an excuse for my absence for my brother and sister in law. They were also attending. I told Krista that I had better start getting ready and she headed out. In hindsight (afterwards) it was probably for the better that nothing happened between us that evening. Krista and her husband, reconciled and are still married. I figure if we had slept together, it would’ve ended my friendship with them. I don’t think I could face them afterwards knowing what had happened in the past. Also, with my “difficulty” around females, I doubt I could’ve dealt with being a non-virgin/sexual person in the ensuing time. I don’t have a problem conversing with women or girls in a non-social setting (stores, lineups, at work) but I’m pretty shy and awkward if I have to make small talk in a forced setting. A couple of years later Krista set me up on a blind date with Sue, a co-worker of her’s. We went out a several times over the next year and a half. That friendship ended when she brought up the topic of sex. I told her I just couldn’t cross that bridge. I didn’t tell her but I felt that a couple had to be in a relationship to be sexual and the sole reason to be in a relationship was to get married. Quite a few couples in my social circle had gotten married, so this may have contributed to that thought. I met a girl thru the internet on a snowmobiling forum some time later and we’ve been friends since, but that’s all, just friends. It was probably five years after “breaking up” with Sue that I read about asexuality for the first time and found out about AVEN. Link to post Share on other sites
Muledeer Posted February 22, 2017 Share Posted February 22, 2017 I had opportunities to have sex with friends who were married (and even former sexual partners) back in the 90's as well. I never once regretted not doing it because the friendships endured, with the couples and as individuals. Since I made the choice not to have a sexual encounter, I thought I was just being celibate because I hadn't yet heard of asexuality. Sex just means so little to me that I would rather not base any relationship on it. Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted February 22, 2017 Author Share Posted February 22, 2017 27 minutes ago, Muledeer said: I had opportunities to have sex with friends who were married (and even former sexual partners) back in the 90's as well. I never once regretted not doing it because the friendships endured, with the couples and as individuals. That's the way I feel too. It was better for the couple to have turned things around than for possibly be a one time only experience for me. Link to post Share on other sites
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