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Why is it so hard to believe?


LittleGoody2Shoes

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LittleGoody2Shoes

Why do you think its so hard for some sexuals to believe that we don't like sex?

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To many sexuals sex is something which they deem necessary for them to function. Many have put it as important as bathing.
And to think others might not feel that way is something that is somewhat jarring.

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LittleGoody2Shoes
Just now, ~Syl~ said:

To many sexuals sex is something which they deem necessary for them to function. Many have put it as important as bathing.
And to think others might not feel that way is something that is somewhat jarring.

I read about a thing called "sexual anorexia" and I thought it was funny. Do you think they would go as far to describe lack of sex as that?

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It's not just not liking sex. They actually may find that more believable than not being sexually attracted to someone, which is the definition of asexuality. And frankly, as an asexual that has had sex before, I actually found one or two instances pleasurable. Under the influence, of course...

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6 minutes ago, Karl said:

I read about a thing called "sexual anorexia" and I thought it was funny. Do you think they would go as far to describe lack of sex as that?

Considering I've seen some of my sexual family members get very frustrated when they've had a "dry spell" that probably wouldn't surprise me.

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Why is it so hard for asexuals to understand that for sexual people, the feeling of sexual... feelings is the same as feeling hungry after not eating for awhile. As someone who loves food, I "can't understand" how people can forget to eat, because my body is always like feedmefeedmefeedmefeedme.

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Anthracite_Impreza

Same reason I can't believe there are people who don't like dogs.

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It's such a common thing to desire sex that saying "I don't!" is almost the same as saying "I never have an urge to breathe!"

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As others above me pointed out sex is like a basic function for many sexuals,like for example eating or breathing.So when you say you don't like sex to them it's like you're saying that you don't like eating or sleeping.

But I've always found this reaction very annoying,I'm not going to explain myself to others why I don't like sex.Sex is something very private and people can't simply ask others about it so casually,especially strangers.How about they mind their own damn business.

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12 hours ago, ~Syl~ said:

To many sexuals sex is something which they deem necessary for them to function. Many have put it as important as bathing.
And to think others might not feel that way is something that is somewhat jarring.

Truth!  The reason I discovered AVEN was because of my encounter with this line of thought.  The wife of a good friend of mine had a brief extramarital affair.  As a result he and his wife stopped having sex.  He was a wreck and totally unfocused on anything (and he owns the company I work for - bad news when your employer is unfocused).  He would bend my ear a lot and one day he told me flat out that human's need to sex or they will die.  I was stunned because I was 51 at the time, had never had sex (still haven't four years later) and was still alive and functioning.  But it stuck in my craw and I started Googling that statement.  That turned up a reference to the now somewhat discredited Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs references in a posting on this site.  I started reading various posts and I suddenly realized I fit the definition of being asexual.

 

So in a nutshell, people who experience sexual attraction, and that is around 95% or more of the population, most likely cannot grasp the concept of not experiencing it because it is an innate part of their existence.

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LittleGoody2Shoes
14 hours ago, kingcakedonut said:

It's not just not liking sex. They actually may find that more believable than not being sexually attracted to someone, which is the definition of asexuality. And frankly, as an asexual that has had sex before, I actually found one or two instances pleasurable. Under the influence, of course...

I get attracted to people but hate sex.

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Hm, I'm not sure what you mean by "we," but if by "we" you mean "us, asexuals," then opinions about sex differ among asexuals. I don't hate sex, but I really don't care about it at all. Though, I am repulsed on certain aspects of it, and other aspects, merely indifferent. That doesn't really define asexuality, though.  Asexuals are individuals that don't experience sexual attraction. Asexuals that are repulsed by sex are sex-repulsed asexuals. And by the way, sexuals can be repulsed. That's why I said, from my experience, people get the "I hate sex" thing more than "i'm not sexually attracted to anyone"...thing...

 

For a friendly introduction:

 

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Because nowadays people routinely confuse their beliefs with the facts.  In fact, their beliefs become their facts.....we are so screwed as a society.

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Hmm. I'm not sure it's so much a question of belief as understanding. Sexuals don't understand not liking/wanting sex, which in turn makes it hard to believe. I myself had the same problem in reverse before realizing I was asexual; I couldn't (and still can't) understand how anyone can need  sex. But I don't need to be able to understand it to know that it's true, I just have to believe it. And the same goes for sexual folk, it's not a requirement that they understand asexuality to believe it's real and valid. They just have to accept it. 

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