Sherlocks Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Lets say there was a scenario where you really loved someone and wanted them as your partner. However, they said to you they couldn't just commit to you as they liked to sleep around. Would you accept this? Would you be okay if they slept around if at the end of the day you were their number one? I realize this would be considered an open relationship but I asking anyone if they would consider it as a possibility even if they are not generally into that thing. Link to post Share on other sites
YamiCake Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I think I'd have to be in the situation to be sure. But I think I'd prefer a 1 on 1 type deal personally. Link to post Share on other sites
Marrow Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Gehehe...and who says old scars don't bleed...as for your question, no. Link to post Share on other sites
cheshers Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I definitely prefer 1x1 situations. I'd be wary of no longer being their 'number one' in the near future, and losing the spot to someone in their life that's more sexual than I am if not immediately than eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
Rhyme Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I would always be open to consideration, but I think I'd definetly have to be "the number one" at the end of the day. If I really loved them and they felt they needed sex, then we could negotiate how to work it out without anyone feeling hurt and neglected. Link to post Share on other sites
Puck Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I couldn't do it. I believe in committed relationships, fully committed mind/body/soul/sole of your shoes. Besides, sleeping around doesn't seem safe. That leads to STIs and shit. I don't judge people who do, but I couldn't have a serious relationship with someone if I was always worried about them being safe. Also, if they got a girl pregnant/got pregnant, I would have to be a part of that child's life and that would get messy. Link to post Share on other sites
NerotheReaper Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I couldn't do that, even though at the end of the day being number one for them. I just couldn't do that, knowing someone I loved was out sleeping with other people just would make me feel bad that I wasn't good enough for them. Also just I am more traditional in the sense you love me and we go through things together, or we don't and we break up. Link to post Share on other sites
Sylvastor Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I'm a 1on1 person, so I doubt I'd answer with anything but a big no. If someone would insist on that, then apparently that's not the right person for me, there's nothing I can do about that then, as much as it would (likely) hurt to realize it. I consider sex to be an intimate sign of affection, obviously not necessarily romantic (as people can also have it with strangers), but it's something where you have to trust the other person and where you give them their full attention (besides the obvious natural point of it), so I would have troubles taking their word "You're still the #1" as a serious one. Spoiler As far as I am concerned, sex and the reactions triggered during it also increases bonding, especially when it's regularily with the same person/people so in that case, the relationship could end at some point anyway when something like this starts. This whole debate must probably sound funny to some and like a paradox. Link to post Share on other sites
Mychemicalqpr Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I can't even see the point of being jealous about something I couldn't care less about. I'd so much prefer a partner getting a desire met with someone else to having to constantly struggle with that incompatibility. I am polyamorous though. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 No. Simple as that. Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I would say no because I like to be committed. Since I haven't really been with anyone who had sexual relations with others, I can't even imagine the idea. I'm not sure if I'd be okay with a partner who does have sexual relations at all. There's a lot of grey area that I don't know so it's safe for me to say no first. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpy Alien Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I'm monogamous by nature Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 I have no clue. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 My chocolate is mine, miiiine! Link to post Share on other sites
Polygon Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Nah, because I feel like 9 times out of 10 that'll either end up with them going with the other person (couldn't really blame them, if they were satisfying their needs better than I could), or my fragile ego wouldn't be able to cope. More than likely, it'd be a combination of those two. I don't like the uncertainty of it...it sounds like it could easily become unstable and destructive. Hell, there are people in relationships that suspect their partner of banging someone else, and it tears them apart...imagine knowing for absolute certainty that that was happening. I'd feel like utter, inadequate garbage. Yeah, no, screw that, I could never do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Busrider Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Yup! Absolutely fine by me. I rather have an entirely happy partner than somebody however unfulfilled lamenting about that and making me feel guilty about doing my stuff (like my job chores hobbies...) Link to post Share on other sites
Chorvus Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Nah, don't think so. Link to post Share on other sites
Estrella Starr Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 I've thought about this before, if they liked to have sex with other people but wanted to be romantic with me I would probably prefer a relationship like that. It would take the pressure off of me to give them that sexual connection that I more than likely wouldn't be able to give them. Link to post Share on other sites
Peachyy Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 8 hours ago, Sherlocks said: Lets say there was a scenario where you really loved someone and wanted them as your partner. However, they said to you they couldn't just commit to you as they liked to sleep around. Would you accept this? Would you be okay if they slept around if at the end of the day you were their number one? I realize this would be considered an open relationship but I asking anyone if they would consider it as a possibility even if they are not generally into that thing. Only if it didn't start out monogamous. If my s.o approached me after almost a year of just the two of us and asked to make things inclusive, I'd probably feel incredibly inadequate. But if when we had met from the very beginning it started out like that, I'd probably be fine with it. Link to post Share on other sites
ruuua Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 As long as there's lot of open communication, yip Link to post Share on other sites
Arctangent Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 I'm polyamorous. It's fine with me if someone I'm intimate with wants to have sexual and/or emotional relationships with other people, as long as they do so in an ethical manner. I don't need reassurance that I'm their "number one," either - I just need to know that they will be considerate of my thoughts and feelings when making decisions that may affect our relationship. If it's a sexual relationship, I also require that they are taking reasonable steps to reduce the risk of STI transmission (i.e. safer sex practices and regular STI testing). (Also, as an aside: preferring non-monogamy doesn't always go hand in hand with not wanting to commit to a relationship. This is a common misconception. Non-monogamous relationships can be just as committed as monogamous relationships.) Link to post Share on other sites
Antihero. Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 . Link to post Share on other sites
Patryk Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 I'm completely fine with open relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunflowerfield Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 If I was in a romantic/sexual relationship, I would only ever do it monogamously. However, I have considered being in a queerplatonic partnership with someone who has sex with other people. I think I'd get a bit anxious about them developing feelings for their sexual partners though, so I'm not sure whether it would work that well. But it's possible. Link to post Share on other sites
The-world-is-quiet-here Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I mean, in the past I would have definitely said no, cause I can be a pretty jealous person. But, the person I'm in a relationship with now is poly, and it seems to be working out for her. It probably helps that I'm the only one she's in a romantic/sexual relationship with who's in the same city as her. She's also in a LDR. I'm trying to be positive about it without negatively squashing my feelings or anything. Like, wow, multiple people love her at once! That must feel good. So yeah, in the past I would have said no, but circumstances sometimes change. In this case, I wouldn't want my partner to only be with me, and be unhappy. Link to post Share on other sites
Amber Elizabeth Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Haha, no. I would tell him to hit the road. That's not the kind of relationship I want, I only do closed and monogamous relationships. If I had a man, I wouldn't share him with anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
SithAzathoth WinterDragon Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 I'm sex repulsed( never been sexual) I'm in my late 20s and I'm homoroamtic/aromantic asexual. I do sometimes want a platonic friendship and it fades away over time. I however wish to remain single since I want my full focus on one thing and that's my career and my priority. I enjoy friendships and will not have it anymore than that. Link to post Share on other sites
SpeckledAngel Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 I'm on the aromantic spectrum and poly, and I would actually prefer not to be their number 1 at the end of the day. Get their sexual and some proportion of romantic/emotional needs fulfilled elsewhere. Just as long as they're with me while they're with me, I'd be content. Plus, people I care about being adorable with people they care about gives me the warm fuzzies. Link to post Share on other sites
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