Why did you really join AVEN and have you achieved your goals?

[Piotrek]

I first read about asexuality in the early 2006 when I came across the term in Wikipedia, trying to find out why my life is so different. Just how I found the term there I can't recall right now. The article had the AVEN link under it, so I clicked on it. I somehow thought that I could post a message without registering, and as you can probably imagine it didn't work out Anyway, from there I went to the Polish branch of AVEN and made an account there, but I wasn't very active.

 

I made an account here after a few years and have been here on-and-off since then. I don't really read much in terms of a/sexuality, a/romantiscism, and gender threads as these issues aren't really very relevant in my life. Not being a sociable person, I don't have-or long to have- opportunities to be in situation where my asexuality or aromanticism could become an issue. I mostly read threads in non-ace/aro/gender sections, even though I often find posting a bit unrewarding as the threads are so fast-moving and the forum so large that I find it hard to start a conversation in this way. That's why I like the status update thing and PMs where one can engage in a one-on-one conversation

[will123]

On 2/16/2017 at 8:40 AM, ascg4 said:

Still, I have only been around daily for like two months, so that can change in the future and most of the time in the forums Just For Fun and AVEN Arcade, but sometimes I visit the other forums as well and have very interesting readings and sometimes also share stuff. AVEN helps me with my boredom mostly and entertains me.

 

 

 

 

I didn't realise you'd only been here a short time. You seem very comfortable chatting about stuff.

[will123]

On 2/16/2017 at 11:20 PM, Muledeer said:

I joined AVEN because of the NYT article I read about asexuality referred to this site.  Then it took another year of lurking to actually join.  I was looking for a  broader and more active forum than the one I was using.  What I found here has been amazing...not so much because it reinforces my asexuality or aromanticism (it surely does that!) but because of the diversity of its members from all over the world.  The breadth and depth of conversations on the discussion threads is truly stimulating.   I also continue to learn a little more about myself and others regarding asexuality from hanging around here.

Same here! I found AVEN about ten years ago after reading a newspaper article about asexuality. I lurked a bit but didn't sign up (I checked for accounts using both of my emails). From what I read I knew that I was asexual and went on with my life.

 

Fast forward to this year and for some reason I thought I'd check out AVEN. Nothing had changed in my life nor did I have any questions. I signed up and have enjoyed my time here. Folks here make it very easy to discuss pretty much anything on a wide range of topics.

 

I'm hoping to come out to a couple of close friends this year. If that happens I figure I'll be fully content with my situation. If I chicken out, it won't be a problem.

[Topi]

5 minutes ago, will123 said:

I didn't realise you'd only been here a short time. You seem very comfortable chatting about stuff.

Well, I joined in July, but only in the end of December last year, did I actually start to post every day. But like I said, in the forums Just For Fun and AVEN Arcade. These forums helped me a lot in terms of opening up, since there I can share my thoughts, feelings, things that happen in a daily basis and play games too. 

 

Maybe that's why I come as comfortable chatting about stuff. It also depends on the stuff I'm talking about and how I'm looking at the topic of conversation. 

 

But usually, I'm very shy and not confident. I write stuff and read them, like 10 times before posting them to make sure there aren't any errors and also see if I'm not offending anyone in anyway. 

 

(It's funny how I ended writing something related to this in a thread in Just For Fun a couple of minutes ago.) 

[will123]

Just now, ascg4 said:

Well, I joined in July, but only in the end of December last year, did I actually start to post every day. But like I said, in the forums Just For Fun and AVEN Arcade. These forums helped me a lot in terms of opening up, since there I can share my thoughts, feelings, things that happen in a daily basis and play games too. 

 

Maybe that's why I come as comfortable chatting about stuff. It also depends on the stuff I'm talking about and how I'm looking at the topic of conversation. 

 

But usually, I'm very shy and not confident. I write stuff and read them, like 10 times before posting them to make sure there aren't any errors and also see if I'm not offending anyone in anyway. 

 

(It's funny how I ended writing something related to this in a thread in Just For Fun a couple of minutes ago.) 

Thumbs up

 

On the bold, I know what you mean about the proof reading LOL. Sometimes something will come to mind on this forum or elsewhere and I'll fire something off. Then when I see it online it'll have a couple of spelling errors and/or of left out a word in my haste to post.

[deactivated account]

 sorry,

i wanted to reply to everyone but this thread has gotten rather busy.  i'm still reading them though.

so.. thanks for replying.. 


 here's a bunny

[DesiButters519x]

Wow, I am so sorry to hear that, I long to find someone in the outside life that is asexual just like me, but that’s very difficult considering I live in a neighbourhood  where it’s all about the sex and shit. Then again, what place isn’t?

Well I don’t know if it will matter, but know that you have a friend in me, and I am pretty active online, oddly while I am very anti social in the outside life I am very social on the net. I feel comfy, especially since I feel that I find more people to really connect with than I do in my outside life. You can contact me on Skype and I can even give you my Email if you wish^^

As for me, I joined to not be alone, in hopes of finding someone who is just like me and overall to simply understand myself more and I hope to learn to embrace myself more. I still have such a long way to go, because I still let rude comments get to me, I should be proud of who I am, yet… sadly, I am too easily pushed by what others say about me, which is stupid, but it’s something I can’t help. I hope to make many wonderful friends here and gain experience from them and also help them out in return as best I can.

 

[deactivated account]

 @Desilu19x don't worry about it
I think there's a website called Acebook to help find asexuals nearer to where you live. also, if you check meet up mart here  http://www.asexuality.org/en/forum/12-meetup-mart/ you might be able to find a meet up near to where you live ^^ heh, but i haven't done either

 

12 hours ago, Desilu19x said:

you have a friend in me, and I am pretty active online, oddly while I am very anti social in the outside life I am very social on the net. I feel comfy, especially since I feel that I find more people to really connect with than I do in my outside life.

aww thank you ^^ i'm the same, pretty anti-social, but active a lot online.

i'm sure you'll make a lot of friends! and hopefully learn not to be hurt by words too! i'm sure you'll get more confident by doing so too xx 

[DesiButters519x]

8 hours ago, AndyAce said:

 @Desilu19x don't worry about it
I think there's a website called Acebook to help find asexuals nearer to where you live. also, if you check meet up mart here  http://www.asexuality.org/en/forum/12-meetup-mart/ you might be able to find a meet up near to where you live ^^ heh, but i haven't done either

 

aww thank you ^^ i'm the same, pretty anti-social, but active a lot online.

i'm sure you'll make a lot of friends! and hopefully learn not to be hurt by words too! i'm sure you'll get more confident by doing so too xx 

Ah! Thanks for telling me about it, I will most definitely check them both! It would be nice to one day meet fellow Ace people in person! Have you already done so love?
 

I would love nothing more than a nice friendship with you^^ Thank you so much, I just can't help it... especially since I am going through a big change in my life atm, I use to be a girl who didn't care about what others have to say, but as of late the talk has gotten to me... I don't know why I let it happen.... but oh well... least nothing extreme happened right? Anyways... I got your message! I shall reply rn^^

[Ayu]

I joined because I needed a place where sex didn't hover over every single interaction, which is nearly impossible to find where I live. So I come here from time to time when I need a break from the sex-centric world.

 

I also try to force myself to come and participate more often to fight my cumbersome social anxiety which is worse on-line than it is off-line, for whatever reason. Not that I'm a social butterfly off-line, either 

[daveb]

Joined for the info. Stayed for the community.

[Guest]

To vary daveb's answer...

 

Joined for the info.

Stayed for the community and for spreading the info.

Decided to leave when emphasis on community over any other concern started making it all but impossible to spread the info.

[Visenya]

I joined because I thought I was asexual, maybe demi, and even though I'm still not 100% sure about what I am, I've decided to stay because I really like the community. I sometimes get pissed off and I need to take a break from it, but I've found a lot of fun, caring, intelligent and open-minded people in this place, and they're the number one reason why I've been here for 3.5 years (I've never stayed in a forum for that long). Besides, it makes me feel safe enough to share a lot of things about my personal life with people who can understand me (which is rare, especially for someone who's too weird and can't open up with people). I've learned a lot with other members, despite not interacting with others as much as I want, and I also have a place to practice my English.

[RK800]

I joined because I was a bored teenager who felt out of place. There were no goals, so there has been nothing to achieve.

But I like it here.

[SithAzathoth WinterDragon]

On 2/15/2017 at 0:58 PM, AndyAce said:

 

What made you join AVEN?
Did you have any goals?
were/weren't they achieved?
why?
why are you still here?

 

I knew I was different in the early 2000's when I was in middle school, by 2013 I knew what to call it by. Asexual and then in February 2016 I made an account which began giving me issues so now I have this one which was merged with the first one.

My only goal was to gain friends, and have as much fun as possible here and I'm on a roll.

Everything is going well so far, so yes.

You have to have fun at some point

I have too many friends here, I also want to stay because AVEN is the great to feel more open on my asexuality without being questioned .

[Visenya]

On 26/03/2017 at 10:33 PM, CBC said:

@Visenya Your English is excellent, FYI. I'd have no idea you weren't a native speaker if you hadn't ever told us!

Really?!  I thought my writing was quite bad, tbh. It's such a relief to hear that! Thank you.

[will123]

On 3/26/2017 at 9:33 PM, CBC said:

@Visenya Your English is excellent, FYI. I'd have no idea you weren't a native speaker if you hadn't ever told us!

X2 What CBC said ^

 

I've been chatting with a European member quite a bit and her English is surprisingly good as I imagine it isn't her first language.

[Laplace]

I joined last November, and it was to better understand asexuality and find like-minded people. I didn't know about the term until I finished college, so I'm glad I found a place where I don't sound insane for never having crushes or any nagging feelings of sexual attraction, esp. - not to hate on sexual people - since just about every guy in college seems to be expected to desire copious amounts of sex. And there's the added fact that I'm much more social online versus in person.

[The Eracer]

I was planning to get a few friends and hopefully to find a person I could really get on with but it seems like my profile scares people so no messages . Also I find i'm very different from most people here like most forums I'm on there's no one similar to me so I'm really like the black sheep on  every fourm I join be that anime , car , film , gaming  , music , fanfiction board . I find that there's very few people like me in the world this might be a INFJ or ISFP trait . So no I haven't achieved my goals .

[LettACE]

I joined mainly because I just found out who I am and was hoping to find some friends and a community I could be a part of. Unfortunately I have a hard time making friends and the qualifications generally include knowing/talking to people for at least 6-8 months before the enter my friend zone. So I'm still here because I haven't entirely achieved my goal yet. However I'm on less because I feel more at ease with myself and feel less like I need a support system

[9Lives]

I can't even begin to describe how ridiculously grateful I felt when I found AVEN. I had just broken up with my girlfriend and even though I didn't regret the decision (and never have since), I somehow felt that something was wrong, that I was missing something. I had tried dating boys, I had tried dating girls (two each, because the first time in each instance could have been a fluke), but it just didn't feel right. And the accusations were beginning to pile up - "Wow, that's cold" (a girlfriend I broke up with), "You're the least romantic person I know" (my best friend, and it probably wasn't meant to be an insult), "You're such a cold-hearted bitch" (the other ex-girlfriend). I didn't really feel all that good about myself at the time.

 

I can't even explain why I googled "asexuality", the only place I could remember hearing the term was in biology class. Maybe it was divine intervention, who knows. In any case, I came across AVEN, and suddenly, it all made sense. I was very active in those first months, happy to have found a community I could relate to and trying to learn as much as I could. I took a break after a while, because I realized that I had some things to work through, and that I could only do it on my own, and not in a few days - you can't do a complete review and re-evaluation of your life and the assumptions it was based on in a few days - and after I was (mostly) done with that, I came back.

 

All in all - I wasn't exactly looking for anything when I first joined AVEN, but I'd say that I found most of what I was hoping for - information, a community, understanding. Interesting people to talk to. Confidence - I found that offline, but AVEN helped.

[deactivated account]

On 4/14/2017 at 5:30 AM, The Eracer said:

seems like my profile scares people so no messages

?? what do you mean no messages? people  haven't messaged you or people don't reply to your messages?
because that's pretty common. there are a lot of inactive accounts here.