Born asexual or not?

[The little ace one]

Do you think that everyone is somehow born asexual or it's something that comes later in life?

 

I lot of people say that being gay, for example, is genetic and something that you can't change. 

 

Do do you think it's the same with asexuality?

[Noxana]

In its core, the decision on whether or not you are an ace boils down to the matter of your inner id, and it isn't something you're directly in control of. I personally wish I was hetero, but despite my most sincere desires, I just simply cannot make myself somehow change my likings; I always have this itching deep inside that everything that even slightly goes beyond that comfort line already makes me feel uneasy and contradicts what truly defines me.

[roma62]

56 minutes ago, The little ace one said:

Do you think that everyone is somehow born asexual or it's something that comes later in life?

 

I lot of people say that being gay, for example, is genetic and something that you can't change. 

 

Do do you think it's the same with asexuality?

i wonder the same thing. my husband is a closeted ace

[Diamond Ace of Hearts]

It's something of a controversial topic, I would say. It seems to me that to say that you're not born with your sexuality pretty much sealed is, for some, the same as saying it's a choice, which is a cardinal sin in the LGBTQIA+ community. Personally, I disagree. Saying I was not born the way I am today is not the same as saying I chose it and even if it was, choosing who to be is no less legitimate than being born who you are. (All of this is just my own reading of and response to attitudes to the nature/nurture debate in queer communities and I'm not trying to put words in anyone's mouth.)

 

All that being said, I do believe that sexuality - including asexuality - is mostly innate; something you are heavily pre-destined to by genetics or by something else no-one can control which affects your development in utero or early in life.

[AVEN #1 fan]

Some people are born ace.

 

Others have hormonal malfunctions, but are a minority. These people can get "fixed".

 

Others have neurodivergencies (adfectusexual), had bad experiences (requisexual) and others traumas (caedsexual and acosexual). And are a minority among us. These people can get "fixed".

 

And some people are gray ace and sexually fluid BTW sexual and asexual.

 

 

 

[Planet Ace]

I don't really know. I think maybe everyone is born asexual, and at some point most people's sexuality shifts from being ace to something else, be it gay, bi, pan, straight, or something else. For some, it doesn't shift at all, and they remain asexual. Now whether it's genetics or something else that cause one to shift sexualities or not, I couldn't say, but regardless I don't believe it's something anyone gets to control or choose, anymore than one can control or choose how one's teeth will grow in. And no one can predict what orientation a newborn will have later in life, anymore than you can look into their mouth and predict with certainty that they'll need braces later on. At least I'd be very suspicious of anyone who claimed they could do that. 

 

2 hours ago, AVEN #1 fan said:

Others have hormonal malfunctions, but are a minority. These people can get "fixed".

 

Others have neurodivergencies (adfectusexual), had bad experiences (requisexual) and others traumas (caedsexual and acosexual). And are a minority among us. These people can get "fixed".

So, based on your use of quotation marks around the word "fixed," I think I can safely assume you weren't implying that aces need fixing because they're somehow "broken." I agree with that, but would like to add that they can be "fixed," but only IF they want to, or need to because their conditions are causing them mental and/or physical health problems that actually need fixing, unlike asexuality. It's just a small caveat, but it needed to be said. 

[AVEN #1 fan]

4 minutes ago, Planet Ace said:

I don't really know. I think maybe everyone is born asexual, and at some point most people's sexuality shifts from being ace to something else, be it gay, bi, pan, straight, or something else. For some, it doesn't shift at all, and they remain asexual. Now whether it's genetics or something else that cause one to shift sexualities or not, I couldn't say, but regardless I don't believe it's something anyone gets to control or choose, anymore than one can control or choose how one's teeth will grow in. And no one can predict what orientation a newborn will have later in life, anymore than you can look into their mouth and predict with certainty that they'll need braces later on. At least I'd be very suspicious of anyone who claimed they could do that. 

 

So, based on your use of quotation marks around the word "fixed," I think I can safely assume you weren't implying that aces need fixing because they're somehow "broken." I agree with that, but would like to add that they can be "fixed," but only IF they want to, or need to because their conditions are causing them mental and/or physical health problems that actually need fixing, unlike asexuality. It's just a small caveat, but it needed to be said. 

Only the specific cases I mentioned can go after a "fix" if they want, the majority of us cannot be "fixed" as we're not "broken."

[Planet Ace]

2 minutes ago, AVEN #1 fan said:

Only the specific cases I mentioned can go after a "fix" if they want, the majority of us cannot be "fixed" as we're not "broken."

Oh, yeah, I was only referring to those specific cases as well. My apologies; I should have made that clearer. 

[okay-but-martin-freeman]

I feel like I was born asexual, same with my gray-ace friend. I think everyone's born with a pretty solid sexuality; sure, it may change and grow some with you as you mature, but I don't think you ever get to choose it. I never chose to be asexual, it's just kind of always been that way, y'know?

[Nila24]

Yes, we are born asexual, do babies feel sexual attraction ?, But sexuality is also fluid: it can appear and disappear unconsciously. If people knew how the unconscious works - it would be a great historical discovery, at the level of evolution of the species - people could be asexual or sexual at will.

Sexuality is a potentiality like any other experience of the human condition. And at the same time no human experience is universal. We all have the potential to be a psychopath, a saint, or a genius. Humans are the only beings that can change themselves through knowledge.

[Fox6]

People are born asexuals in the sense that we don't start feeling any form of sexual attraction later in life. However, people are not born asexuals in the sense that it's not something predetermined. While Human sexuality is not fully understood, sexual orientation or fetishes seem to be the result of experiences that happen mostly during the early years of life. It can still develop during adulthood, but it's much less likely.

[binary suns]

we are all born as babies. there is no identity in a baby. if there is, it is nothing more than the pure authentic sense of self.

 

As we grow, a mix of our physical growth and features, interactions and experiences, and genetic coding, influences how we develop. We all become our individual self over time. There is a path that we follow, laid out for us by birth, but we do not necessarily follow that path exactly - it leads us and we do not really see it so we stumble around deviating from our "coding" a little more each year. 

[Sherlocks]

On 2/14/2017 at 3:48 AM, The little ace one said:

Do you think that everyone is somehow born asexual or it's something that comes later in life?

 

I lot of people say that being gay, for example, is genetic and something that you can't change. 

 

Do do you think it's the same with asexuality?

 

 

I don't think you are born anything. I don't think you are born gay either.  You don't start realizing your sexuality until you hit puberty and generally kids are not and have no desire to be sexually active. You also can not say kids are asexual since they might not have hit puberty yet. So really you shouldn't be your sexuality till puberty hits and you start developing sexually. I don't think you have a real sexuality until you start developing. You can have the traits or hormones to be gay there but it's not fully realized until you hit puberty. 

 

 

[April_ONeil]

I think one could maybe say everyone's born asexual, since kids don't even comprehend sexual attraction until they're older. However, a lot of kids can tell which gender(s) they're romantically more interested in, and that can be a sign of an orientation other than asexuality. 

 

The only way you'd actually know is to try and teach kids about sexual desire and see how they reacted and try and get them to tell us who they'd find sexually attractive, but... yeah. That's super creepy, and seems really wrong to me. I'd rather have it just remain a mystery.