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Gender roles and clothing restrictions


Sherlocks

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It has become more common in society for girls and guys to wear each other undergarments. The biggest reasoning behind this seems to be that its more comfortable. Some girls wear boxers and some boys might wear panties. Would you ever get apparel for the other sex? Would you feel awkward going to the store and trying to buy it? Do you believe it would be viewed poorly by the general population? If your partner did it would you be cool with that?  Also if you don't feel awkward buying it yourself what advice would you give to someone who has decided they want to try something different and are scared of being judged? I not asking just to people who identify differently like transgender but simply anyone who wants to try differently for reasons of comfort or even just style. So some questions. 

 

 

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Well I'm trans so I wear boxer-briefs most of the time, both for comfort and convenience. I do wear some more unisex style panties made for women from time to time, especially if I'm working out because I don't have to worry about them rolling up my legs like I do with boxer-briefs.

 

Personally I only pass like half the time but I've never gotten any weird looks or questions while buying "men's wear" or anything else for that matter. Plus I don't really care. I also don't really care what my partner wears, whatever they're comfortable with is fine by me.

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You know, I've always found it funny that female underwear are from-fitting and provide so much would-be support for nothing. And, under the right circumstances, it can help cause things like cysts. Whoot. Always made more sense that guys should have all the bottom support.

 

I don't feel uncomfortable shopping in the men's area. I like to get hoodies in that section since women's are too short to be of use to anyone. 

 

It's really silly how much care is put into which bodies can where which garments. Not even that, but colours. A friend of mine has a really nice button-up that's a light pink. It looks great on him, but people give him looks for it.

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ahem. I think there might be some biology in the way, preventing me from using the underwear of the opposite sex. but if someone told me that they'd went for it, I'd have nothing against it, obviously - it would be interesting to hear them out, for their reasons. it would be kind of hilarious, but I can't imagine anyone I know would be giving anyone else shit for such an innocuous thing. some might insist that they be told the reason, but certainly, I imagine it would awake some curiosity in just about anyone. I think, the best way to insure oneself against negativity from others would just be to really own it, to not make excuses, but to just plainly and confidently state the reason, which is probably that they in some way feel better. no one can argue against that, can they?

 

now I'm imagining myself walking down to the clothing store, on an errand to buy girly panties. hmm. I might buy some other things as well, just so that's not the /only/ thing I'm getting. I always get the people who work there to help me choose what to get, so just before I'm ready to pay, I might add that "oh, I was supposed to get some -" what do I even call them? "some women's panties". they probably wouldn't ask what they're for, but if they did I'd probably say I was picking them up for a friend. see, I'm already covering up my trails, but that's mostly cause I don't know how to answer the question "what are they for?" if I had initially said they were for me, cause it's not like I want to use them myself! I don't want this whole acquiring of panties to be misconstrued as some fetish thing, anyway. 

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I don't feel awkward browsing the stuff in men's department and even trying it on, but maybe if I specifically took boxers and went into the changing room, that would be awkward! But even just buying boxers would be okay (anyone could think, that I'm buying them as a gift). But it would be pointless to buy men's boxers, when there are "girl boxers" that fit me better anyway.

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 I do feel awkward shopping in the men's section. How people would see it? No idea. I've gotten some "but it's for guys, it doesn't fit you and you will look bad in it" reactions.  And sometimes no reactions at all as well.

 

I don't get the underwear thing either, why on Earth would I wear male underwear when they make plain cotton panties? As long as my partner looks good and feels good in it, I don't care what he or she wears. 

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Well I honestly don't care about shopping in the men's section.It's not awkward to shop in there and try things out. I even try them out and take them home if i really like them and nobody give me weird looks.As for underwear: I just stick to girl boxers because i don't really think men's boxers would do it for me i mean.. especially if you got nothing to put in there. .It would be interesting though to try them out but nah. I find what i wear comfortable enough to stick with.

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47 minutes ago, Ettina said:

I don't wear underwear at all.

you just put your jeans straight on? :o

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1 minute ago, sindi said:

you just put your jeans straight on? :o

That's painful to merely imagine :wacko:

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2 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

That's painful to merely imagine :wacko:

I've tried it a few times. The seam against your parts...ehhh...not fun. 

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When I first started out I got extremely nervous shopping in the "wrong" department/stores, to the point I would usually chicken out. But then I would sometimes work up the courage and do it. These days I usually dress "en femme" (including wig, makeup, breastforms and clothes) when I shop in the women's departments/stores. For me, that's just more fun. I don't think I get many looks, and the sales people have been good. Many are quite helpful and seemingly friendly, which is what they get paid for. Some are even supportive and actually like to help (I have heard that directly from women I know well who have worked in retail). Other customers are usually either busy with their own concerns and pay little attention or give me a nice smile. In any case, your money is as good as anyone's and it's none of their business why you're buying stuff (unless you're looking to make sure things fit right). I think one key is to appear comfortable and confident (even if you have to fake it) - don't be furtive or ashamed or self-conscious (as hard as it might be to avoid those feelings as least try not to let them show). :)

 

If someone wants to go into a store and buy stuff from the "wrong" side according to their current gender expression try to remember that it's not uncommon for females to buy stuff for the guys in their life and males to buy stuff for the women in their life. No explanation needed. If anyone gives you weird looks or reactions you can always take your business elsewhere. And depending on where you live or shop you may never even see those people again.

 

I think everyone should feel free to shop where they want and buy what they want and wear what they want. I'm not going to judge their opinions on what feels comfortable or good or right or whatever. To each their own. It's all good. :)

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I wouldn't be surprised if a male-bodied person had a harder time shopping in women's sections than a female-bodied person had shopping in men's sections simply due to stereotypes. As a woman, I am supposed to enjoy shopping as a pastime (I don't,) so I don't think anyone would bat an eyelash at me spending a lot of time in the men's department. Men "aren't supposed to like shopping," so maybe some people would do a double take. Honestly though I think it's what @daveb said: most people are too wrapped up in their own needs to even care what other people in the store are doing, and absolutely no explanation is needed. I used to work in a lingerie shop and we had men come in all the time to buy for their girlfriends... and also themselves I'm sure!

As for me wearing men's underwear... nope. Boxers seem incredibly uncomfortable to stuff under pants, so I'm not into that. I do wear them as sleep shorts though. For briefs I don't see the point when women's underwear would fit better anyway. But underwear should really be about the comfort of the person wearing it, so I think people should wear what makes them comfortable, regardless of who it's marketed to.

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I'm a female who wears almost exclusively male clothes. I'm not trans, just fairly androgynous/ gender indifferent and much prefer the fit, quality and colours of men's clothes. I'd definitely urge any female who's thinking about buying from the men's section to go for it- men's stuff is so much better quality, less fitted, and the trouser pockets are actually pockets! I think it's easier for female bodied people to do this than the other way round, as society doesn't view this as harshly as males buying feminine clothes so it would take a slightly bolder/ braver male to shop in the women's section (hopefully this will change). Either way, life's too short not to be yourself, so I say go for it (even if you do chicken out and buy online :) ).

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On 2/10/2017 at 5:53 PM, Sherlocks said:

It has become more common in society for girls and guys to wear each other undergarments. The biggest reasoning behind this seems to be that its more comfortable. Some girls wear boxers and some boys might wear panties. Would you ever get apparel for the other sex? Would you feel awkward going to the store and trying to buy it? Do you believe it would be viewed poorly by the general population? If your partner did it would you be cool with that?  Also if you don't feel awkward buying it yourself what advice would you give to someone who has decided they want to try something different and are scared of being judged? I not asking just to people who identify differently like transgender but simply anyone who wants to try differently for reasons of comfort or even just style. So some questions. 

 

 

I love boxer shorts! Especially the cute ones with the cartoon characters on them :). I'm cis female and I often shop in the men's section (but I also shop in the juniors section). Basically I simply wear what I like. Who gives a **** what section it's in?

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I pretty much exclusively wear swishy dresses and really 'girly' clothes, but I LOVE boxer shorts 

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5 hours ago, Twigwilter said:

 I'd definitely urge any female who's thinking about buying from the men's section to go for it- men's stuff is so much better quality, less fitted,

I definitely love a lot of men's sweaters and find them way better quality than women's on the whole. I've been meaning to get one if I can find one small enough, but I don't buy clothes often so I just haven't gotten around to it. Men's pants would be a humongous fail on me though. With my body shape I can't even wear the "boyfriend" style jeans made for women. Men's jeans would just be a disaster.

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7 minutes ago, SaturnOOO said:

"boyfriend" style jeans

Speaking of which, I saw something being advertised as a "boyfriend" towel the other day. :P

I have never seen any article of clothing or other item for men as a "girlfriend" anything. "Guys, get yourself a girlfriend sweater." Or, "men, how about a pair of girl shorts?" :P

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17 minutes ago, daveb said:

I saw something being advertised as a "boyfriend" towel the other day. :P

What on earth :blink:

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5 minutes ago, SaturnOOO said:

What on earth :blink:

That was about my reaction, too. :P

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On 2/11/2017 at 11:27 AM, sindi said:

you just put your jeans straight on? :o

I don't wear jeans either - only leggings and sweatpants and such. (I'm autistic and tactilely hypersensitive. Even with underpants, jeans feel like wearing sandpaper.) 

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TheLastOfSheila
20 hours ago, Twigwilter said:

I'm a female who wears almost exclusively male clothes. I'm not trans, just fairly androgynous/ gender indifferent and much prefer the fit, quality and colours of men's clothes. I'd definitely urge any female who's thinking about buying from the men's section to go for it- men's stuff is so much better quality, less fitted, and the trouser pockets are actually pockets! I think it's easier for female bodied people to do this than the other way round, as society doesn't view this as harshly as males buying feminine clothes so it would take a slightly bolder/ braver male to shop in the women's section (hopefully this will change). Either way, life's too short not to be yourself, so I say go for it (even if you do chicken out and buy online :) ).

I so agree with your assessment.  I have found men's clothing to be of much better quality for the most part, made better with better materials.  Women's clothing, except for maybe the higher end stuff (which I can't afford) seem to be much more cheaply made, and for me, uncomfortable.  I always found men's underwear to be much more comfortable as well (not boxers so much as boxer briefs, or just plain briefs).  For years, I struggled to find women's attire that felt comfortable and fit well.  Coming to AVEN really has helped because I see that I am not alone, and I have learned so much from the member posts.  I don't consider myself agender.  I enjoy being a woman, but I have never been the "girly-girl" type.  I am finding that my sartorial choices are becoming more and more masculine as time goes on.  When I see pictures of celebs all decked out at some event, I find the men's bespoke suits and crisp shirts much more interesting than the women's evening gowns and spike heels.  I mostly shop catalogue for clothing, but I would have no problem going into a men's clothing dept. to purchase for myself.  One of the benefits of growing older is that you don't really give a damn what other people think. :)

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I buy t-shirts from the boys' section in Target. It's so much cheaper than the stuff in the women's department -- $5 for a shirt in a nice fabric and cut vs $12 for a flimsy and sheer tee that won't survive two washings.

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17 minutes ago, modrad said:

I buy t-shirts from the boys' section in Target. It's so much cheaper than the stuff in the women's department -- $5 for a shirt in a nice fabric and cut vs $12 for a flimsy and sheer tee that won't survive two washings.

 

Yeah I noticed that. 

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On ‎20‎/‎02‎/‎2017 at 1:33 AM, SaturnOOO said:

I definitely love a lot of men's sweaters and find them way better quality than women's on the whole. I've been meaning to get one if I can find one small enough, but I don't buy clothes often so I just haven't gotten around to it. Men's pants would be a humongous fail on me though. With my body shape I can't even wear the "boyfriend" style jeans made for women. Men's jeans would just be a disaster.

Yeah I guess that's a problem for a lot of people now I think about it. Being fairly tall and small hipped I can wear men's clothes easily (something I probably take for granted). If you're fairly small, I suppose you could try the boys section. Kids clothes are cheaper anyway and I've often seen nice boy's jumpers that would just never fit me. I also don't buy clothes often- its just too complicated :D

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I generally get really uncomfortable shopping for clothes, especially in the women's section, because it feels like everyone and everything around me is trying to force me to be female (I'm AFAB). I avoid it as much as possible. Actually, I think I would be less uncomfortable shopping in the men's section because there might be fewer gendered expectations of me there.

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