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Do any of you get jealous over friendship?


Sherlocks

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malickathetato

I definitely get jealous. I'm a very shy and reserved person so opening up to someone is a big deal for me to do. And being comfortable around people enough to do so is also a very big thing. Mind you I only have one friend so when she spends time with other people more than me, I get really jealous. Because it's like, you finally get the balls to open up to someone and allow yourself to have a deep connection with them and then they go and be with someone else more than you, of course you're gonna be upset.

Because you don't want to go through that whole process again. But then again that's just me.

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It happens and I can fully be accused of it :D

 

BUT, as I have gotten older it has happened less and less. Often, I find that it's a reflection of me just being lonely or liking the idea of a friendship with someone more than I had actually done the work to build it. Some people you click with, some you don't and that's ok. Yeah, when two of your friends head to a concert and you wish you had gone it stings, but maybe you didn't really like that band and you know they probably had more fun than you would have.

 

It makes me really value the good friends I do have. The ones that always include me and are down to clown.

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Yeah, I get jealous. I always feel like a jerk when I think about it, I'm not trying to monopolize them or dictate who they can hang out with or anything, I just want them to want me, I guess? 

 

I guess I'm kind of a possessive person. I also get anxious. I feel like I value friendship much higher than most of the people I know, so I get scared when my friends don't hang out with me as much or don't talk to me or find a romantic partner. I just don't want them to leave me. This only happens with "best friends". I call them best friends, but I feel like that isn't strong enough. They're more than my friends. They take up a very large place in my heart, friendship is too weak a word. I have so few real friends. I don't really think I can can my relationships with my friends, friendships, because I feel like our connection is on a different level. We've moved past that point. I have "friends" which are really just people I associate with, can talk to and enjoy being around, but they aren't close to me. They haven't broken this barrier that makes them true friends/best friends.

 

I have two "best friends". One I've know for almost 7 years, the other for about 5. They are so important to me, that the thought that they might drift away seriously hurts me! So yeah, I get jealous! They're my friends. I like knowing not many people know them as well as I do. I like knowing they know me better than almost everyone. I belong to them and they belong with me. I don't know how to form connections like this with other people besides them, so they're my only friends. Yeah, I value them to a huge degree!

 

I think my jealously stems from my insecurity. I'm never sure they value my friendship as much as I do theirs. I just want them by my side! I don't want them to leave! I guess their romantic interests and other friends "threaten" me? Threaten my place in their hearts? I don't know. 

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