Alexis Tousha Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 im an asexual female of the age of 15. I finally got a boyfriend this Saturday. I'll just call him john. so john and i get along so well, and its probably the second close relationship i've ever had. I know. I said that, when we just started dating. But before this, we were friends. Anyway, today i had told him i was Asexual, or atleast waiting till marriage. And now i think he lost interest, and that he is now lying to me. he said he still liked me, but im not sure about that. He immediately told me "have a great time watching your movie, gn" and just left the conversation. I'm not even sure if he understood what i meant. I meant i dont like, or want sex. But i do still enjoy holding hands, cuddling, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Sherlocks Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 9 minutes ago, Alexis Tousha said: im an asexual female of the age of 15. I finally got a boyfriend this Saturday. I'll just call him john. so john and i get along so well, and its probably the second close relationship i've ever had. I know. I said that, when we just started dating. But before this, we were friends. Anyway, today i had told him i was Asexual, or atleast waiting till marriage. And now i think he lost interest, and that he is now lying to me. he said he still liked me, but im not sure about that. He immediately told me "have a great time watching your movie, gn" and just left the conversation. I'm not even sure if he understood what i meant. I meant i dont like, or want sex. But i do still enjoy holding hands, cuddling, etc. Just because you are asexual doesn't mean your boyfriend is. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 most people do not find their lasting relationship at 15 - and most relationships are short, and people go away from a relation with memories - whether it be a fond memory to cherish, or a harsh one to learn from. and, we are hardwired to fall more in love with each new relationship as if it were better than all the ones before. Link to post Share on other sites
Clumsy Fairy Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 Finding a partner is a journey.... Learning how to figure out who is or isn't right for you is something that takes time. It's pretty good you have an idea about what you want. But be aware that Mr right is unlikely to be the first person you meet. Personally (and this I know is not an opinion that everyone shares) I don't think you can know you are asexual at 15... I think you can say that you don't want sex, but I really think trying to put yourself in a box so young could be a bad move. You're getting in to the age where you are discovering who you are, and I think that you should keep an open mind. Asexualiity is not just an easy answer to celibacy, If you are asexual then being married isn't going to change your lack of desire, and most reasonable men want their partner to want to have sex with them.. So telling someone "I will never want to have sex with you but if we get married I will let you" is not what a 'sexual' person wants, they want someone who wants them too... If you don't want to have sex, thats fine no matter what ever the reason, and you shouldn't ever feel that you ever have to or be expected to have sex, but be under no illusions.. Most of the men about you do.. Some of them might fall in love with you and accept that you don't want sex, but it's in the heads of most boys and men.... How you deal with that is part of what it is to be a woman... Try not to pressure yourself in to having a partner. That said, don't be put off.. Just accept the fact that in all likelihood many men will come and go before you find someone you really want to be with, and really trust. If someone is being a 'dick' just try and move on... Be happy! [EDIT] I agree with @Every Red Heart Shines... Link to post Share on other sites
Alexis Tousha Posted February 7, 2017 Author Share Posted February 7, 2017 51 minutes ago, Sherlocks said: Just because you are asexual doesn't mean your boyfriend is. 27 minutes ago, Every Red Heart Shines said: most people do not find their lasting relationship at 15 - and most relationships are short, and people go away from a relation with memories - whether it be a fond memory to cherish, or a harsh one to learn from. and, we are hardwired to fall more in love with each new relationship as if it were better than all the ones before. 23 minutes ago, Lord Grep said: Finding a partner is a journey.... Learning how to figure out who is or isn't right for you is something that takes time. It's pretty good you have an idea about what you want. But be aware that Mr right is unlikely to be the first person you meet. Personally (and this I know is not an opinion that everyone shares) I don't think you can know you are asexual at 15... I think you can say that you don't want sex, but I really think trying to put yourself in a box so young could be a bad move. You're getting in to the age where you are discovering who you are, and I think that you should keep an open mind. Asexualiity is not just an easy answer to celibacy, If you are asexual then being married isn't going to change your lack of desire, and most reasonable men want their partner to want to have sex with them.. So telling someone "I will never want to have sex with you but if we get married I will let you" is not what a 'sexual' person wants, they want someone who wants them too... If you don't want to have sex, thats fine no matter what ever the reason, and you shouldn't ever feel that you ever have to or be expected to have sex, but be under no illusions.. Most of the men about you do.. Some of them might fall in love with you and accept that you don't want sex, but it's in the heads of most boys and men.... How you deal with that is part of what it is to be a woman... Try not to pressure yourself in to having a partner. That said, don't be put off.. Just accept the fact that in all likelihood many men will come and go before you find someone you really want to be with, and really trust. If someone is being a 'dick' just try and move on... Be happy! [EDIT] I agree with @Every Red Heart Shines... Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
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