SamwiseLovesLife Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 I generally get people saying "Do/when you have a boyfriend or.. girlfriend" or "Do/when you have a ..(pauses trying to sum me up).. partner" It doesn't bother me, most of my friends are gay/otherwise LGBT+, but yes Link to post Share on other sites
Podsnap Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 The most common assumption I get is that I must have experienced sexual trauma and that I just don't want to talk about it. Link to post Share on other sites
arekathevampyre Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 5 hours ago, AmberLovesLife said: I generally get people saying "Do/when you have a boyfriend or.. girlfriend" or "Do/when you have a ..(pauses trying to sum me up).. partner" It doesn't bother me, most of my friends are gay/otherwise LGBT+, but yes I like your shirt . if it belongs to you . damn . i need this . Link to post Share on other sites
SamwiseLovesLife Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 6 minutes ago, arekathevampyre said: I like your shirt . if it belongs to you . damn . i need this . Not unfortunately, but I'm looking for one as we speak- will post one on here for sure Link to post Share on other sites
arekathevampyre Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 2 minutes ago, AmberLovesLife said: Not unfortunately, but I'm looking for one as we speak- will post one on here for sure oh thats ok . I will need to custom my shirts though . cant buy online haha Link to post Share on other sites
SamwiseLovesLife Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 2 minutes ago, arekathevampyre said: oh thats ok . I will need to custom my shirts though . cant buy online haha Here's some other ideas I've found so far (: https://www.redbubble.com/people/prospero/works/8972337-man-delights-not-me?grid_pos=6&p=t-shirt&style=mens https://www.redbubble.com/people/fandomizedrose/works/11542926-people-no-i-prefer-cats-2?grid_pos=27&p=t-shirt&style=womens https://www.redbubble.com/people/basiliskonline/works/14779975-asexual-character-bonus-spade-symbol?grid_pos=46&p=t-shirt&style=mens https://www.redbubble.com/people/fandomizedrose/works/11925244-do-you-want-to-eat-in-the-same-room-sometime?grid_pos=105&p=t-shirt&style=mens Link to post Share on other sites
SamwiseLovesLife Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 4 minutes ago, arekathevampyre said: oh thats ok . I will need to custom my shirts though . cant buy online haha Success! https://www.spreadshirt.co.uk/asexuals+gaydar-A16593806 Link to post Share on other sites
arekathevampyre Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 Eh all cool . Maybe I can use that as Inspiration and design my own tee . Link to post Share on other sites
swirl_of_blue Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 I think this may have happened to me once... A friend from our band a joke about me and another of our players that seemed to hint at us being lesbians (not together, however). The funny thing is, probably everyone in our band knows I have dated men before, as almost every time I get even bit drunk I start both remembering my abusive boyfriend and crying about being lonely now. I think the lesbian comment was more because my style and behavior are very far from stereotypically female and I guess I could fit the "masculine lesbian" stereotype somewhat, and not because it's been almost five years since I've dated. Most people seem to connect me not dating more to me being very unsure of myself and having no self-confidence, which is exactly why I have no partner. Link to post Share on other sites
SamwiseLovesLife Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 2 minutes ago, arekathevampyre said: Eh all cool . Maybe I can use that as Inspiration and design my own tee . Someone needs to open an etsy shop with Ace T-shirts for those of us with a sense of humour **hint hint** Link to post Share on other sites
arekathevampyre Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 13 minutes ago, AmberLovesLife said: Someone needs to open an etsy shop with Ace T-shirts for those of us with a sense of humour **hint hint** what if the person is me ? Link to post Share on other sites
nanogretchen4 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 Pretty much never, which is odd because I have never married and people never see me dating men. Also I march in pride and keep bringing up LGBT+ inclusion issues, and I am in fact bisexual. True, people also don't actually see me dating women because I'm demisexual and I really just don't date, but I still think it's a bit weird that it never occurs to anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Evren Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 People think that all the time, especially because I tend to dress as maleish as possible. Also I openly go to Pride but don't tell people why soooooo, people think I'm gay a lot. But I don't mind it, it makes me laugh most of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
James121 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 People would assume you are gay because you are not straight. It's a perfectly normal assumption to make when someone isn't in to the opposite sex. Link to post Share on other sites
straightouttamordor Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Yes some people should train for the Olympics. The long jump to conclusions ! Been there. People just assume if you're a man and you aren't having sex with any woman with a pulse, you must be gay. My own father used to be like that. Although I'm not gay, as a teen he was far more "proud" of my brother than he was me. Simply because he was a womanizer. A chip off the ol block. Link to post Share on other sites
Nemophilist Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Yep I've gotten that both to my face and behind my back. I think the worst was this one guy who just asked me in the middle of a group of friends. I make an effort to come off as oblivious to any slight indication that a guy might like me, it's a cheap coping mechanism but it works for the lighter stuff. I'm not fully sure if he had any interest in me and felt offended by me being me or what, but yeah... It was awkward and scary. No one had ever gotten in my face like that. I'm just so tired of gay or straight being the only two options of existence that people acknowledge. Link to post Share on other sites
PHOENIX97 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Yessss. Everyone at school thought I was because my friend group always wanted to hold hands. So I was always holding hands with two people in my group that were also female. Someone one day came up to me and asked "Are you and her going out?" . Link to post Share on other sites
Divide By Zero Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 One of my best friends in high school is gay. Although he wasn't out, I think people suspected he was gay and because we were such close friends some people thought I was gay too (one day I was asked, "Are you and _________ bum buddies?") As for life nowadays as an adult, I have no idea if people think I'm gay and I really don't care. I wouldn't be all that surprised if people think I might be gay because I'm single and don't have a girlfriend. I also have a thing for clothes. I like to dress up and wear nice clothes and I sometimes wear "feminine" colours like purple and royal blue and pastels. I'm also not particularly interested in "masculine" things like sports, cars, and home renos. But as I say, I really don't care what people think. Link to post Share on other sites
Ammonite Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 yes, i've been there. I actually really hate that they feel it's their business to make assumptions about my personal life. Link to post Share on other sites
obsequies Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Yes -.- As a young child I was classified a "tomboy", because I preferred baggy boys jeans, comfy tshirts, and liked my hair super short. I never felt like I was particularly "boyish", or really girly either, I was just...me. It never seemed the least confusing to me, though everyone around me acted as though it was. As I entered the tween-ish years, that's when I could feel making the little assumptions and insinuations that I was gay because I wasn't fawning over boys all the time, or wearing makeup and trying to be what they defined as "pretty" to the opposite sex. I knew I wasn't gay, but I also didn't have any particular interest in either gender in that regard. When I got to high school I started to grow my hair out (at the time I had decided I wanted to grow it out and get dreads after seeing a cute dread hairstyle), and had a crush on a boy. I felt a lot more anonymous in high school, as it was a much larger school than my elementary/middle school was, so it seemed no one cared anymore. I never had any interest in having sex with that guy, but his visual style appealed to me, and seemed as though we may have some similar interests compared to many classmates in this stuffy, country school. Nothing happened with him at that time, we talked on msn (yes, msn for us oldies :P) a number of times and that was enjoyable to me. Later I had an internet boyfriend, which continued to hush any gay talk. After high school I still never dated, or really socialized much. It was around the age of 19 that I heard the term asexuality and it all made sense. It was relieving for me to have a name to put on it. The first time I mentioned it to anyone was at this ridiculous party I attended with my sister (she needed a DD -.-), and they were talking about sexual things. I didn't contribute to the conversation at all and, quite honestly, just felt annoyed at being there in general (not my crowd at all), and someone started questioning me about being gay and such. They did it in a nagging-negative way, and I flat out said I was asexual. Everyone kind of went quiet, and looked at me as though I was speaking another language, and the conversation was then changed. My sister never questioned me or even mentioned it afterwards, even though she heard me say it, and I can almost guarantee she didn't even know what I was talking about. On 2017-03-29 at 7:24 AM, podsnap said: The most common assumption I get is that I must have experienced sexual trauma and that I just don't want to talk about it. My ex pulled that one on me a few times, despite having warned him before we were even a "couple" that I was ace. He seemed more than happy to accept that I was since he had *ahem* performance issues. Afterwards he dismissed asexuality all together, claiming that there was no such thing and that people who say such things just have mental health issues, or some such nonsense. He then started demanding I tell him what happened to me as a child, insinuating that someone had somehow damaged me. That must be the case if I don't want to throw myself all over him -.- Link to post Share on other sites
SamwiseLovesLife Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 On 29/03/2017 at 3:45 PM, arekathevampyre said: what if the person is me ? If you do this please spam my inbox with links because I will so buy that sh*t Link to post Share on other sites
SamwiseLovesLife Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 6 hours ago, obsequies said: My ex pulled that one on me a few times, despite having warned him before we were even a "couple" that I was ace. He seemed more than happy to accept that I was since he had *ahem* performance issues. Afterwards he dismissed asexuality all together, claiming that there was no such thing and that people who say such things just have mental health issues, or some such nonsense. He then started demanding I tell him what happened to me as a child, insinuating that someone had somehow damaged me. That must be the case if I don't want to throw myself all over him -.- Ugh that's disgusting. Please tell me you threw his ass out on the curb. I mean seriously, way to 'win your affections' by telling you you're mentally ill. What an Ahole Do a sassy finger click and tell him you don't need no man <3 Link to post Share on other sites
SamwiseLovesLife Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 On 01/04/2017 at 3:35 AM, Mr E said: One of my best friends in high school is gay. Although he wasn't out, I think people suspected he was gay and because we were such close friends some people thought I was gay too (one day I was asked, "Are you and _________ bum buddies?") As for life nowadays as an adult, I have no idea if people think I'm gay and I really don't care. I wouldn't be all that surprised if people think I might be gay because I'm single and don't have a girlfriend. I also have a thing for clothes. I like to dress up and wear nice clothes and I sometimes wear "feminine" colours like purple and royal blue and pastels. I'm also not particularly interested in "masculine" things like sports, cars, and home renos. But as I say, I really don't care what people think. I love how confident you are in yourself, the world needs more people like you Link to post Share on other sites
obsequies Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 1 minute ago, AmberLovesLife said: Ugh that's disgusting. Please tell me you threw his ass out on the curb. I mean seriously, way to 'win your affections' by telling you you're mentally ill. What an Ahole Do a sassy finger click and tell him you don't need no man <3 I did one better, I got a no contact order :| He was, indeed, an Ahole. Link to post Share on other sites
arekathevampyre Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 52 minutes ago, AmberLovesLife said: If you do this please spam my inbox with links because I will so buy that sh*t Cool . Will have to discuss with my parents to see how this work out !! Link to post Share on other sites
Nylocke Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Well my folks did for a while but they don't now since my parents practically broke off my most recent relationship ... Link to post Share on other sites
UnicornQueen Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Friend once suggested that maybe I'm bisexual and my first thought was "Bi? More like a-sexual". Funny thing is back then I had no idea that asexuality exists. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Several people have inquired about it, but I wouldn't say anyone has assumed that I was. The inquiries were usually easily satisfied and nobody has ever expressed doubt at my denials. Link to post Share on other sites
tags Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 yes so many people have assumed I'm gay and even some people in my family think I'm gay (even after telling them I'm not) Link to post Share on other sites
Togee Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 I'm not sure if people have assumed, but at least suspected Link to post Share on other sites
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