Confessing my squish to someone

[Maelstrom_17]

Hello everyone. I've been struggling with this question for awhile, namely, how to tell my professor that I have a squish on them. It's important to me, since i'm interested in some sort of quasiplatonic relationship in the future. In case you're wondering, I'm aware of the potential ramifications, especially that it may look like the issues that people have with romantic relationships and people (administrators) may look at it as a conflict of interest, breach of trust, etc. Even though I've never been a student of his and I merely work closely with him for other reasons (tutoring, research consultation/advice, etc.) I know that it could still be a major issue and I don't want to get myself into any other messes as a student (I'm a student with moderate autism, and I have enough problems with that as it is, plus, I don't want to jeapordize anyone's career or anything like that).

 

 Therefore, it's not something that I want to confess until after graduation or right before (even though right before may still raise some eyebrows). So yeah, how would I approach this issue? I don't even think they know what aromanticism is and may confuse it with a regular romantic crush, although I'm pretty close with this professor and know some personal things about them and vice versa. By the way, I'm also asexual. 

[sindi]

Can't you just say, that you'd really want to get to know them better and hopefully become close/closer friends? Because isn't a squish basically that - a strong desire for a close friendship? 

[Star Bit]

1) there's already a colloquial term for squishes (link) 2) quasiplatonic is actually problamatic because it actually means the reverse of what's intended. So it doesn't actually refer to a queerplatonic relationship. Aliplatonic has been a suggested alternative. But if you wanna tell him then simply say what it is; a squish is just the desire to befirned someone specific; so just tell him u wanna be friends-- though if this is gunna be said after or right before graduation then there'd really be no point in saying anything either way. Saying something's not gunna get you the friendship you want so it's pointless to say anything at all to him about it. I get that currently you feel this and you feel a need to express it and aren't fully thinking about reality right now, but really, try to step away from that and weigh reality. Also, are you sure you dont actually have a crush on him? With this urge to express what you feel for him and only saying it at the end of the year it really sounds like a crush. That is to say, you can strike up a casual friendship with him and that requires no confession; people with squishes dont need confessions; they literally just need to befriend the person. So anything more is most likely a crush. You dont have to desire typical romantic things to have a crush, you literally just need to feel romantically. 

 

Romantic attraction - an emotion; so it doesn't translate well into words, but it can be inadequately put as soft/warm/fuzzy feelings with some degree of fixation (at least in comparison to one's normality with others). This is the base requirement, but some people also have a physical reaction to the feeling and others don’t (i.e. butterflies in their stomach, heart rate increase, blushing, etc. [though those can also be symptoms of platonic nervousness]). Others may react mentally with a dreamy mindset, anxious euphoria, infatuation, romantic fantasies, etc. And others may feel it light enough (compared to the norm) that there is no clear line between crushes and wanting emotional closeness.

[Maelstrom_17]

Oh, sorry. I just mean that that previous platonic relationships that I've had had been a bit more emotionally intimate and I didn't want to give off the wrong impression, even though we already are close as it is, but for standard usage purposes, I did want a queerplatonic relationship with said person. The only reason I said something about expressing something was because my platonic relationships tend to end up being really emotionally close and I didn't want to give off the wrong idea and mess everything up, since I'm so bad at communicating the right stuff to the right people (may have to do with my autism. I'm so bad at the real world interactions and word semantics pertaining to relationships) I generally don't have fixation on them unless they do or say something that I really like and even then it's only for a little while.

 

But yeah, there's a rather broad definition of what a semiplatonic/queerplatonic (i'm just going with standard usage at the moment) relationship can actually be. For all intents and purposes, some of the stuff on here is more along the lines of how I feel regarding a relationship with said person:

 http://aromanticaardvark.tumblr.com/post/25625686403/romantic-relationships-vs-queerplatonic

 

 

[Star Bit]

Semiplatonic is not synonymous with queerplatonic, though semi would be equivalent with quasi. Semi and quasi mean "partially", which would completely cancel out the word platonic; something can'e be partially platonic because then it wouldn't be platonic in the first place. Quasiplatonic is a suggested alternative to queerplatonic, but the prefix does not do what it's intended and even means the opposite, so it fails. A functional suggested alternative to queerplatonic is aliplatonic.

[Euna]

If you're going to say anything, say it verbally.  Anything in writing is monitored and could be misconstrued (either by the professor or by the school), and as you say, you don't want to jeopardize his career.

 

I would be extremely cautious and try to avoid putting him on the spot.  As other have said, perhaps approach it from a more casual angle of continuing your friendship, keeping in touch, etc.     A sudden confession may be misinterpreted as romantic interest.

[SithAzathoth WinterDragon]

I have a squish on my former bagpipe trainer, she might be aware of it, if not I to am wondering what to say and she is not the only one I have. For this though I'm afraid I can't help much since I to have no idea what to say, I do however talk to both quite often. In fact my former trainer came and visited for a while and tried fixing my door. By far I have to say she is the best friend I have and I look up to her quite often. I hope you find the answers you're looking.