Do asexuals (including anything under that umbrella term: gray, demi..) find abs, neck(?), veins(?), cleavage, men's v-cut SEXY?

[Sherrinford]

I'm just curious as to whether some body parts which others find sexy are also sexy to asexuals. Since aesthetic attraction exists, this may be true, that it is sexy indeed. But i'm asking to the point that whether it lights a spark or turns them on (not sexually), but makes them desire the person?

 

Thanks for those who will answer.

[Forest Spirit]

I don't know if you could call that 'finding it sexy' but I'm very aesthetically and sensually attracted to "thin, bony areas" like collarbones, wrists, rips ecc. Such things make me desire to go over them with my fingers - like you would on a rock or tree bark - to feel the structure/texture(?), dunno

 

Edit: and nope to abs, veins(what?), cleavage ecc.

[sindi]

I'm not even sure what body parts are supposed to be sexy (never heard of veins being sexy before ), but I find a reasonable amount of muscle attractive (on all genders, but the level of "reasonable" varies between genders). I don't have a special thing for abs or anything, maybe rock solid abs are getting too muscular for my taste  I also think that smallish perky boobs with a liiittle cleavage can be cute, but other than that... I don't see anything special about necks, v-necks... let alone veins!

[SylviaDragon]

I certainly don't find any of those things to be "sexy" but I do on occasion enjoy the look of hip/collar bones and sometimes (super rare) some moderate arm/upper body mussels. Like maybe if I knew them really well and we were cuddling I would rest my hand on one of those areas but that's about it.

The things I find most aestheticly pleasing about other people are usually things related to my own personal body goals so I enjoy the look of certain things in more of an "I want to be like that" kind of way instead of an "I want that person" sort of way- if that makes any sense?

[WishfulThinker]

i find mens v-cut can be attractive but it doesn't make me want to have sex with the person.  i also appreciate a good muscled bicep but again it's just aesthetic appreciation to me

[regnvand]

Hi Sherrin
 
Very interesting subject!
I don't think that "sexy" is a word most asexuals would use to describe something they like about a person as it goes against the general definition (not wanting to have sex), and "sexy" is associated with sexual attraction.
But I do indeed think that there can be certain things about a persons looks that an asexual may find appealing, especially if you are a very aesthetic person in general. I am so myself, and I do have preferences. Some of these include tallness, freckles, redheads, curly hair, slenderness, being well-dressed and (of some reason) especially pretty hands. All of this applies to every gender as I am poly.
The preferences do fade into the background though if the personality is more striking - it is first and foremost what attracts me about a person. 
Furthermore, if some of the preferences is met it doesn't, as an asexual, create a sexual tension but is instead just visually pleasing for me. If the person for example is a well-dressed, tall redhead, AND has an interesting persona it is both intellectual and visually satisfying for me to spend time with them.

- Reg

[NerotheReaper]

Not sure if I would use the word 'sexy', but there is something very appealing about shoulders and backs to me. 

[Agrippina]

I definitely wouldn't say I find these things sexy but I have an aesthetic appreciation for some of these things. Seeing people who I view as having a pretty face or a pretty smile or sculpted muscles basically feels the same for me as seeing a really nice piece of furniture. I have described chairs as sexy before tho but it doesn't make me feel anything. I just go "Oh, that's pretty! I like"

[Sherrinford]

4 hours ago, regnvand said:

Hi Sherrin
 
Very interesting subject!
I don't think that "sexy" is a word most asexuals would use to describe something they like about a person as it goes against the general definition (not wanting to have sex), and "sexy" is associated with sexual attraction.
But I do indeed think that there can be certain things about a persons looks that an asexual may find appealing, especially if you are a very aesthetic person in general. I am so myself, and I do have preferences. Some of these include tallness, freckles, redheads, curly hair, slenderness, being well-dressed and (of some reason) especially pretty hands. All of this applies to every gender as I am poly.
The preferences do fade into the background though if the personality is more striking - it is first and foremost what attracts me about a person. 
Furthermore, if some of the preferences is met it doesn't, as an asexual, create a sexual tension but is instead just visually pleasing for me. If the person for example is a well-dressed, tall redhead, AND has an interesting persona it is both intellectual and visually satisfying for me to spend time with them.

- Reg

thanks for this! and i agree, the problem lies with the word "sexy" and how it is defined. I have been asking myself this question a lot, since I find those parts really pleasing, and want to touch it out of curiousity or just because it's beautiful. i could describe well-structured abs, for example, as wanting to touch it like i would touch forbidden michaelangelo's work in Rome. and yes, persona + intellect > physical appearance. 

[Sherrinford]

6 hours ago, sindi said:

I'm not even sure what body parts are supposed to be sexy (never heard of veins being sexy before ), but I find a reasonable amount of muscle attractive (on all genders, but the level of "reasonable" varies between genders). I don't have a special thing for abs or anything, maybe rock solid abs are getting too muscular for my taste  I also think that smallish perky boobs with a liiittle cleavage can be cute, but other than that... I don't see anything special about necks, v-necks... let alone veins!

haha, v-necks are muscles found on men's abs. sorry for the misunderstanding. thanks for your answer! lol, some people find veins attractive, but um ummm um veins? ? ??? 

[WinterWanderer]

Nope, but I can generally tell which body parts other people find attractive, based on which ones get the most screen time in movies. (I.e., Chris Pratt's abs in "Jurassic World")

[Mychemicalqpr]

I don't often isolate certain individual features or even take more than glancing notice of physical details unless they are prominent or unusual. Even with people I find aesthetically attractive, I still usually see them as a whole and might not be able to pick out very many specific things I like about their appearance.  Maybe there are some subconscious patterns to my preferences I haven't noticed. Who knows. 

[Chorvus]

Sure, there are specific physical characteristics that I can recognize as being "sexy" (based on how I've internalized messages from advertising, media, friends about body parts that are "supposed" to be sexy if they look a certain way. I understand that things like lingerie and certain poses are sexy also. Just because I understand or recognize what "sexy" means for a person's appearance doesn't mean that anything is specifically sexy to me.

 

I agree with SylviaDragon:

5 hours ago, SylviaDragon said:

The things I find most aestheticly pleasing about other people are usually things related to my own personal body goals so I enjoy the look of certain things in more of an "I want to be like that" kind of way instead of an "I want that person" sort of way- if that makes any sense?

Well-defined muscles often turn my head, but more in the sense of "someday I will look like that" than in the "this person is very desirable due to their appearance". I'm also drawn to the combination of angular jawbones, dark eyebrows, and very very short hair.

 

So, I guess, I can be aesthetically attracted to a particular feature, and can tell whether it would be considered "sexy" or not (by common media) but I don't actually start to desire the person with those features.

[notfeelingit98]

Personally speaking, I never find anything sexy. That's kind of the point of me being asexual. I don't even know how to define sexy because apparently, it's something slightly different than being pretty or beautiful and I don't really get how.

The things I find pretty (or aesthetically pleasing, if you want) are mostly details. With boys, it's broad shoulders and back muscles... collar bones... hands... eyes. I mean, I can tell when they have been working out and look good, but a lovely smile gets me more than a v-line.

 

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I'm not attracted to humans but I've most definitely found some cars 'sexy' before, to the point of my stomach flipping and going 'ooph'  That's slightly different to the reaction I have to steam trains which is more 'dear god you're so beautiful'. I'm still attracted to both pretty strongly.

[okay-but-martin-freeman]

I don't particularly find them attractive. Then again, most men I've seen who have them are lanky, not musclely, so maybe I'm a bit biased.

 

There're traits about guys that make me want to talk to them more, like a handsome smile, a funny laugh, a good sense of humor; but those traits never make me sexually desire them, or turned on. Then again, I've never felt sexual attraction towards anyone, so maybe I just don't know what it feels like?

[Ettina]

Nope.

I kind of like skinny people with angular features (think Pearl from Steven Universe), but the people considered 'sexy' by most people are kind of boring looking in my opinion (and heavily muscular people are kind of ugly looking, especially if they don't have much fat, like the guys on men's magazines). I'm a fan of superhero stories, and Spiderman is one of my favorites in part because he doesn't have the ugly overly muscular look that most male superheroes have.

[SaturnOOO]

I'm feeling the need to defend veins here! I actually really do like the way people's veins look under their skin. Especially when they are deep enough that you just see the blue streaks... I think it looks awesome. I do not find them sexy though.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

1 hour ago, SaturnOOO said:

I'm feeling the need to defend veins here! I actually really do like the way people's veins look under their skin. Especially when they are deep enough that you just see the blue streaks... I think it looks awesome. I do not find them sexy though.

I have extremely visible veins, you'd love them. They stick out when I get too hot too 

[Mermaidy]

I love fit/abnormally good looking female bodies, like muscular and perfectly shaped legs and butt with wide hips and a small waist.  In my brain it makes me think of stability which i love.  I also think boobs look good (create that hourglass balance)

[bluedragonwings]

See the key is what you mean by "sexy". Much like the word "hot" (in sexual sense), you hear it enough and it comes up with a meaning in your head. However, it may not mean the same to you as it does to those who said it.

 

While I don't use it as much now, when I did, I usually just used it to mean aesthetically attractive or something that was compelling. It just wasn't compelling me to want sex. I mean the things I call "sexy" and "hot" now are mostly new cameras, computers, some techno gadget that catches my eye, or watching someone BASE jump.

[DoomDodo]

I find them beautiful if I'm really interested in the person. It fascinates me to be in the presence of such a beautiful, living, breathing consciousness. It's difficult to describe. But yeah, it's sort of their presence that makes me go all fluttery in the chest and certain physical aspects work to make their presence more real to me (?)

 

On the other hand, I've been around people who could be considered just as or more attractive than those referred to above, and I've felt nothing (maybe a slight repulsion if they were in my bubble).

[Sherlocks]

On 2/2/2017 at 1:33 AM, Sherrinford said:

I'm just curious as to whether some body parts which others find sexy are also sexy to asexuals. Since aesthetic attraction exists, this may be true, that it is sexy indeed. But i'm asking to the point that whether it lights a spark or turns them on (not sexually), but makes them desire the person?

 

Thanks for those who will answer.

 

I do yes 

[Grumpy Alien]

They might find it attractive or recognize it as what others typically see as sexy but it would be strange for an asexual to find body parts sexually attractive ("sexy") if you ask me.

[ManPlush]

I find the traditionally "sexy" features of women (breasts, butts, etc) attractive and nice to look at aesthetically (I also have an artistic upbringing so that may not exactly be the same as others, I dunno ^^), but certainly not "sexy" the way my male friends see it (because I don't understand their reaction to it).

[helana12_03]

For me it's kind of like looking at a beautiful painting or something. I may like the way the guy looks but I don't desire the person. It wouldn't make me want to date him or be friends with him or anything.

[fuzzipueo]

Muscles, etc., on a man are less than aesthetically pleasing to me. What catches my eye is the shape of a face, the eyes, nose, mouth, hair, etc., all together. I find I will spend time staring at faces, especially on book covers, more than anything.

[Azrael]

Small perky boobs yum

round tight bubble butts also yum 

does it make me desire the person? 

No. 

I just like looking. 

It is just very aesthetically pleasing. 

[the consulting asexual]

I wouldn't use the word "sexy" for anything (except when I'm teasing friends or siblings).   I don't tend to find "classically" attractive people all that pleasing.  However, I do find some people visually striking.  Leaner sparingly muscled guys with long hair or girls with shorter hair and piercings.  I also really like prominent noses for some reason.  I think my aesthetic tastes are partly do to my artistic leanings as I enjoy drawing intresting people.  But I'd have to say that an intresting personality is much more important.  

[Azrael]

I'm very much attracted to androgynous looking people.