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Hi, there, everyone.

 

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LeChat,

Welcome Lounge, Announcements, and Alternate Language moderator

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Depends on the subject honestly, if I genuinely like the subject then I won't mind but if it's maths or something I'll leave it until the last second 

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About knowing any aces IRL, I know one. She's ace, but not aromantic, so I can't completely relate to her, but it's still kinda cool. We aren't as close as I'd like to be though. Personally, I wear my ace ring every day and a bracelet above it with the ace colors. I keep hoping someone will realize and talk to me, but no luck yet. I also wear a aromantic necklace. I'm trying to get the word out! ^_^

 

Also, I'm a senior at high school. The end of the year is coming up so fast! I'll have to adult soon! I'm not ready! I was super stressed out over college, but I finally got my shit together and figured it out. 

 

I'll give peeps here some advise, maybe you won't stress and procrastinate and freak out like I did... Don't worry so much about grades. If you can, shoot for a 3.0. That's all most scholarships and colleges and honor programs need. If you can't manage that, there are still scholarships out there. Also, start looking for scholarships before March... One more thing, community college is a legitimate option and not hard to get into!!! I know a lot of people that aren't even considering going to community college, because they think they can't afford it, you can! It ain't hard! Just for scoring high enough on their placement tests, I got a scholarship that pays for 15 credits a semester! (that's a lot btw) I always encourage the people around me to at least try for an Associate degree. That one is easy. Okay okay, one more thing: get the Associates, but you can get it over years if you need to. No one says you gotta go full time!

 

Sorry bout the college rant, it's been on my mind a lot...

 

Question: How does everyone do relationship wise? I struggle really hard with getting friends. Anyone similar? Has anyone here been in a romantic relationship?

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MORE COLLEGE TIPS:

1. Do your essay in the summer so you can finish the Common App by late September of senior year. It saves a lot of hair tearing.

2. Don't fill out the Common App before it officially opens, all your work will get deleted.

3. Apply for EVERY scholarship, $100 to $1000 to $10,000. Don't blow them off because of the essays - it REALLY helps in the long run, even the smallest essay. Also contests can have cash prizes you can use to save for college.

4. CALM DOWN AND DRINK A HOT BEVERAGE <3 YOU'LL BE FINE

 

Answer:

I'm okay? I have a hard time making friends but generally get close with those I have, and I've gotten a lot better over the years with being friendly and social and less insecure about myself around other people.

 I'm in a romantic relationship right now, with one of said friends actually lol

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On 4 avril 2017 at 3:04 AM, AvengelAzrael said:

Question: How does everyone do relationship wise? I struggle really hard with getting friends. Anyone similar? Has anyone here been in a romantic relationship?

I've always struggled to make friends, but the few friends I have are really close and just surppotive no matter what I or anyone else in the group does. Romantically speaking I've never been in a relationship but then I still only 15.

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An Ace Valentine

I tend to struggle with friendships, I get super depressed and then I push people away and get even more lonely. But I also feel like that to most people I'm not a desirable person to be around

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Don't worry you probably are great to be around.

I struggled with friends as over a couple of year 3 friends have left the my area and never come back.

Most the time I tend to eather confuse or scare people (sometimes unconsciously!!) which limits number of friends.

 

 

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I honestly don't know why I struggle making friends. Like I'm super friendly. People talk to me all the time. I don't know anyone that dislikes me. But yet, no one wants to be my friend? I wish there was a reason I could pinpoint. What am I doing wrong? I'm open and welcoming. What is the secret technique?! I'm gonna be going to college in the Fall (and no one I know is going there) so I'd like to know that I'm not gonna be alone...

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I end up seeing someone nice going up to them then saying hi then possibly now I have meet you you are my friend

Then as they try to get away I stick with them until they give up and realise how wonderful I am (or something)

 

Note- please don't try this it doesn't always work

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An Ace Valentine
2 hours ago, AvengelAzrael said:

I honestly don't know why I struggle making friends. Like I'm super friendly. People talk to me all the time. I don't know anyone that dislikes me. But yet, no one wants to be my friend? I wish there was a reason I could pinpoint. What am I doing wrong? I'm open and welcoming. What is the secret technique?! I'm gonna be going to college in the Fall (and no one I know is going there) so I'd like to know that I'm not gonna be alone...

I'm actually the exact same way, like I'm friendly and I'm have friends, but friends that are more like acquaintances than actual friends, if you know what I mean? I'm excited to get to college so I can make a new start with friendships and stuff tho.

 

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1 hour ago, An Ace Valentine said:

I'm actually the exact same way, like I'm friendly and I'm have friends, but friends that are more like acquaintances than actual friends, if you know what I mean? I'm excited to get to college so I can make a new start with friendships and stuff tho.

 

Exactly how I feel, the only things people really ever talk to me about tends to be homework questions, which don't get me wrong is awesome, but there are always those days where I just want to have a deepish conversation about something completely random like goldfish, if that makes sense...?

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All of you who have trouble making friends, I'm like that too <3 but what I've figured out is that you have to engage people back and strive to be friends with them - ask to hang out, spend time. If they ask for homework questions, try to organize a time to get together to work on homework, or make a study session group. Ask people when you're going somewhere fun to come with you. Unfortunately that's all the advice I have ^-^" I'm not so good at making friends, since I'm usually scared to ask people things.

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On 4/3/2017 at 9:04 PM, AvengelAzrael said:

Question: How does everyone do relationship wise? I struggle really hard with getting friends. Anyone similar? Has anyone here been in a romantic relationship?

I have been in two long term romantic relationships. I am a panromantic ace but I hadn't realized it yet. The first was for half a year and the second for a year. The first one failed because I was completely uninterested in the sexual department, even kissing. It became extremely stressful for me to be around him because I always felt an invisible pressure. Despite that we had a deep emotional connection and I really enjoyed our time together. My second relationship was with another guy and he never initiated anything. I was perfectly happy with cuddles with no further meaning. That relationship stagnated due to a combination of factors. If you like cuddling and want to try forming a close emotional bond with someone, I would recommend trying out a romantic relationship (unless you know you're aro already).

 

Be warned that if they are sexual, it is very likely they will want to do things. Be confident in who you are and don't let anything happen that you aren't 100% comfortable with. Just break up with them if you're stressed by the relationship. Romantic relationships are supposed to be calming not aneurysm inducing. 

 

Side note, I've been in cuddle withdrawal now that I'm single so if you like cuddling, romantic relationships are an amazing way to get a ton. No excuse necessary.

 

Feel free to ask me questions if you're curious :)

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When it comes to relationships I'm just the third wheel... Oh the fun.

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Internetlionboy

@Tintinfan aw that sucks! If I was in a relationship and I invite a friend over, I'd try my best to make them not feel like a third wheel. I don't want anyone to feel awkward just because two people are in a relationship.

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Pity my friend didn't have your kindness.

Half the time I didn't even realise I was third wheeling until I was told (somewhat unkindly) by another friend (ish)

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Internetlionboy

Ugh that's just rude. Why bother inviting someone if you're just gonna treat them like that? I don't get people when they do crap like that. You didn't deserve to be treated like that :c

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Thanks..

*Awarkly take kindness and stores in in the box of nice things*

When it comes to any kind of body language between people I miss it out completely- thats why I do stupid things because I don't notice the judging looks..( that's the plus side!!)

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Internetlionboy

Yea you're welcome ^^

Ahhh I'm kinda good at noticing body language but not really as it's not that easy to notice. I'm very reserved so I don't really use body language sometimes I do though. I don't know I don't ever talk about myself so I talk about anything but myself since that's just how I am. 

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I miss it out completely - for everything.

It's only a problem when I doing something odd any my friends start hissing at me to stop messing as I getting funny looks.

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PurplePaper

Hiii, I'm neeeewww. Anyway, I find myself becoming a third wheel a lot. I don't have any helpful tips or anything.. I do have a small group of close friends, but they make me realize that no one's perfect. Romantic relationships are...confusing to me. Like a lot of other things. I'm in one and yet I still find myself just..Flat out confused.

I make friends in random weird ways. I randomly compliment people, randomly state that we have something in common, and just tag along with another friend into another friend circle. Actually it is hard to get friends but I know its hard to be friends with me XD. So yeah,,

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That method of making friends seems pretty solid to me!!

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Hi.

I'm pretty much incapable of making friends. I'm too untrusting and sarcastic due to some pretty bad experiences I had over the years so everybody ignores me. Most people who claim to be my friends aren't as they enjoy inviting everyone else in my friendship group out and then sending me videos of them having fun. As a result of this I'm extremely bitter and the only friends I trust I don't see anymore. So I spend most of my days alone and reading books while everyone in my school whispers about how I have no friends and how everybody hates me. Sorry if this comes across as a bit of a rant.

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An Ace Valentine
3 hours ago, Rowan220 said:

Hi.

I'm pretty much incapable of making friends. I'm too untrusting and sarcastic due to some pretty bad experiences I had over the years so everybody ignores me. Most people who claim to be my friends aren't as they enjoy inviting everyone else in my friendship group out and then sending me videos of them having fun. As a result of this I'm extremely bitter and the only friends I trust I don't see anymore. So I spend most of my days alone and reading books while everyone in my school whispers about how I have no friends and how everybody hates me. Sorry if this comes across as a bit of a rant.

Wow, that sounds really rough. I don't really have any advice for you but I sympathize, there's no way that's easy to deal with. I wish I could help!

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15 hours ago, An Ace Valentine said:

Wow, that sounds really rough. I don't really have any advice for you but I sympathize, there's no way that's easy to deal with. I wish I could help!

Thanks. It definitely isn't easy to deal with but I try. I'm moving schools at the end of this academic year so hopefully I should get a second chance if I can manage to overcome my bitterness and anxiety.

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Hi! A lot of you guys talked about not being able to make a ton of legitimate friends (me too yay!) even though you're really nice ...do you think it's part of being ace/aro/etc./not being able to identify with sexual people? I WANT TO KNOW SO BADLY and I really would appreciate anyone's opinions - 

(I'm also salty that we don't have an asexual version of a gay-dar - who can I sue? :lol:)

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PurplePaper
1 minute ago, flowerage said:

Hi!! A lot of you guys talked about not being able to make a ton of legitimate friends (me too yay!) even though you're really nice ...do you think it's part of being ace/aro/etc./not being able to identify with allosexual people? I WANT TO KNOW SO BADLY and I really would appreciate anyone's opinions - 

(I'm also salty that we don't have an asexual version of a gay-dar - who can I sue? :lol:)

Hmm, for me personally no. I'm not sure what it is... Maybe my aura just makes people uncomfortable or maybe sometimes I try too hard? Who knows.

On ‎4‎/‎17‎/‎2017 at 2:47 PM, Rowan220 said:

Hi.

I'm pretty much incapable of making friends. I'm too untrusting and sarcastic due to some pretty bad experiences I had over the years so everybody ignores me. Most people who claim to be my friends aren't as they enjoy inviting everyone else in my friendship group out and then sending me videos of them having fun. As a result of this I'm extremely bitter and the only friends I trust I don't see anymore. So I spend most of my days alone and reading books while everyone in my school whispers about how I have no friends and how everybody hates me. Sorry if this comes across as a bit of a rant.

My face when I read the part that I put in bold. Seriously, who does that? I don't know how you feel but I do hope that you will be able to make some awesome friends one day. I got used to people either ignoring me or leaving me out of the group so I make sure I have a book with me always. Everyone thinks I'm just this quiet girl, only because they don't get to know me. I've started to have no filter with a lot of things I say which comes off as mean and rude sometimes but...oh well.

 

I have a question though, anyone can answer. Do you ever feel like the reason why its hard to make friends with people is because all the awesome people we meet online are looking for us too? And the reason why we can't find each other is because the universe is trying to keep us apart cause it knows the world can't handle us together? XD If that made any sense

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An Ace Valentine
38 minutes ago, PurplePaper said:

I have a question though, anyone can answer. Do you ever feel like the reason why its hard to make friends with people is because all the awesome people we meet online are looking for us too? And the reason why we can't find each other is because the universe is trying to keep us apart cause it knows the world can't handle us together? XD If that made any sense

Yeah, it seems pretty clear that if we were together irl it would be a heck of a time!

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dragon_nerd
3 hours ago, flowerage said:

(I'm also salty that we don't have an asexual version of a gay-dar - who can I sue? :lol:)

Linsy Doe has a vid on asexuality on youtube and she talks about "sexual sonar" and how it passes strait through asexual people, to the point where she didn't even realise that David Jay was in the room until he introduced himself. On the other hand we can make ourselves invisible :) :( Instead of gay-dar we have invisibility powers. 

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Hi, I'm new to the community, but can I get some advice? Please? (I don't really know how this works, but whatever...)

 

I am 17 and in my senior year of high school, and recently, a boy who I sit next to in one of my classes moved to sit with me in one of the other classes we have together. Then, today, he started flirting with me a little? I'm not sure, though. I've been being friendly, because I think he's nice, and I want to be friends with him, but I kind of overreacted and told him when he asked if I thought he was hot (kind of jokingly), that I didn't think he was. He's always asking if I'm feeling okay, and trying to ask if I need a hug, and complimenting my clothes, etc. I've worked on some group projects with him, as well. I told my parents about it, and they told me that he might be doing this because he wants to go to prom with me. (My parents are vaguely aware that I'm not super interested in sex or romance, but I'm not sure they quite get that I'm asexual...anyway, I'm not really ready to make a big deal out of it, yet, since I haven't really even used the label mentally for very long, if you know what I mean?) 

 

Anyway, they told me that if he asks me to Prom, I'm bound by societal obligation or whatever to agree to go with him, since saying no would hurt his feelings. It's all a little hypothetical right now, but it's stressing me out. Has anyone been in this situation before? What did you do? What should I do? (Ideally, I just want to make the least amount of possible fuss...)

 

I just discovered this community fifteen minutes ago, but I would 125% watch Teen Coroner. Somebody needs to make this show, now.

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If he's friendly go to prom but were sharp high heels so you can stamp on his foot if he does anything you don't like.

 

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