Strong fetish with little or no interest in sex

[Anonymoushr12]

I am a 24 year old male who has long had a fetish for female hairdressers and getting a haircut from them, or even watching someone get a haircut from a chick.Though I have been in intimate relationships, I could feel this fetish hamper my ability to be fully turned on while I was with my girlfriend. I can't help but think it's not normal and unhealthy to have this- I mean if you're human, you should be turned on by sex or the sight of a naked person. I have a feeling this could affect my relationships negatively and am worried. I feel the fetish has completely overshadowed any normal sex drive I was supposed to have. Also, I strangely began mastrubating at an extremely early age- like 7-8 years old. Weird.  

[StrangeStory]

On 20/1/2017 at 8:21 PM, Anonymoushr12 said:

I mean if you're human, you should be turned on by sex or the sight of a naked person.

Why? Because other people say so? Because the media says so? Perhaps, biologically, it is not "normal", because it makes you less likely to contribute to the continuation of the species. But is your "abnormality" detrimental to your health? No, absolutely not. And the only way it could be detrimental to your mental health is if you cared what society says you should be, but nobody cares about that, right?

 

Now here's another question: If your fetish (which I think is really interesting) is the main driving force behind your attraction to others, but is not related to sex at all, why would you be interested in pursuing relationships which require sexual intimacy? Wouldn't you be happier if you were single, and finding other ways to enjoy your fetish? Relationships / sex / marriage are NOT basic human needs.

[Busrider]

On ‎20‎.‎01‎.‎2017 at 7:21 PM, Anonymoushr12 said:

I have a feeling this could affect my relationships negatively and am worried.

Oh come on; a buzz cut could be renewed each week (and even clumsy idiots like me get that job done!) Sex 2x/week seems average so half that frequency is probably still not the lowest end of normal. As long as your fetishes permit an average gal to turn you on and get you going they aren't too big an obstacle. 

[Shadow Heart]

It is my opinion that a true fetish (which is defined as the ONLY thing which causes arousal in the individual) is in itself a type of sexual attraction. In this case, the sexual desire is connected deeply with the fetish activity or object, and one would be  "sexually attracted" to the fetish itself. It is thus my opinion that fetishists are NOT Asexual.

 

Now, why would you care what society thought of you? The biggest prison that people live in is the fear of what other people think. If you truly wish to be happy and free, you must be prepared to walk a path in which the masses will point and laugh at you for. They do not care if you lived or died, so why should you even give them a seconds thought?

 

As long as your fetish does not cause any discomfort or interfere with your life, it is to be embraced and celebrated in my opinion.

[Anonymoushr12]

On 2/11/2017 at 6:10 PM, StrangeStory said:

Why? Because other people say so? Because the media says so? Perhaps, biologically, it is not "normal", because it makes you less likely to contribute to the continuation of the species. But is your "abnormality" detrimental to your health? No, absolutely not. And the only way it could be detrimental to your mental health is if you cared what society says you should be, but nobody cares about that, right?

 

Now here's another question: If your fetish (which I think is really interesting) is the main driving force behind your attraction to others, but is not related to sex at all, why would you be interested in pursuing relationships which require sexual intimacy? Wouldn't you be happier if you were single, and finding other ways to enjoy your fetish? Relationships / sex / marriage are NOT basic human needs.

Hey, thanks so much for the response, i really appreciate it.

 I wish I could look at it that way, but I know that one day I'd like to get married and have a family (though its not a basic need , its something I want). I am afraid of being deprived of all that because of this 'deviation.' I strongly even wish I didn't have this fetish but I'm kinda helpless. Also, its difficult to satisfy the fetish lol. But yeah, now that I am where I am thinking from the perspective that you suggested would be ideal. 

[Anonymoushr12]

On 2/11/2017 at 8:08 PM, Busrider said:

Oh come on; a buzz cut could be renewed each week (and even clumsy idiots like me get that job done!) Sex 2x/week seems average so half that frequency is probably still not the lowest end of normal. As long as your fetishes permit an average gal to turn you on and get you going they aren't too big an obstacle. 

Haha thanks for the response! Well yeah i think my fetishes would permit an average girl to turn me on but it seems harder than one would think to satisfy it...it requires, er...equipment and all. Anyway besides that, I am concerned about it from the perspective of not being able to get married or have a healthy sexual relationship and perhaps a family one day. I keep hoping that some day this would  at least partially get out of the way and I start to enjoy real sex more. Also, the society I live in is a bit conservative, there are social pressures and expectations that can be quite stifling...getting into relationships before marrying is also pretty hush hush and frowned upon in most parts. I feel kinda lost and confused. So glad I'm able to talk about it though, thanks again. 

[Busrider]

No clue about the equipment side of things. - I bought a military pre-owned barber's tool case for about $50 (and handed it to my bestie who has a hairy family). I guess if you need a pro-grade chair with hair washing basin next to it you'll have to stash some month wages away to enter that market. From an economist's POV it might be still way cheaper to buy that junk than to marry a hair dresser who earns just peanuts in her job. - Their wages are ultra crummy around here.

[scarletlatitude]

On 1/20/2017 at 1:21 PM, Anonymoushr12 said:

I am a 24 year old male who has long had a fetish for female hairdressers and getting a haircut from them, or even watching someone get a haircut from a chick.Though I have been in intimate relationships, I could feel this fetish hamper my ability to be fully turned on while I was with my girlfriend. I can't help but think it's not normal and unhealthy to have this- I mean if you're human, you should be turned on by sex or the sight of a naked person. I have a feeling this could affect my relationships negatively and am worried. I feel the fetish has completely overshadowed any normal sex drive I was supposed to have. Also, I strangely began mastrubating at an extremely early age- like 7-8 years old. Weird.  

You mean that you have trouble feeling completely sexual toward your girlfriend because she isn't a hairdresser? Would it work if she role played and pretended to be one? 

 

And as an ace, naked bodies do nothing for me, but I get what you mean. To me it's like 

 

[Anonymoushr12]

8 hours ago, scarletlatitude said:

And as an ace, naked bodies do nothing for me, but I get what you mean. To me it's like 

 

Haha, i like your A/sexuality description. For most guys I think it would make a big difference if they're not attracted to the sight of a naked girl, at least if they want to have sex.

Well, I am definitely attracted to girls who are not hairdressers (I think that's most of them too). But I always end up imagining and fantasizing this as part of the intimacy. You know, them being hairdressers. I absolutely hate saying it, I feel like there's something seriously wrong with that.

[StrangeStory]

On 17/2/2017 at 5:44 PM, Anonymoushr12 said:

I wish I could look at it that way, but I know that one day I'd like to get married and have a family (though its not a basic need , its something I want). I am afraid of being deprived of all that because of this 'deviation.

Yeah, I understand people wanting a family. It's not something I want, but I do wonder what life will be like when my existing family is gone and I've not started one of my own. Perhaps you'll be lucky and find a woman who thinks your fetish is awesome. You're still young; there's time for anything!

[Anonymoushr12]

On 2/21/2017 at 5:41 PM, StrangeStory said:

Yeah, I understand people wanting a family. It's not something I want, but I do wonder what life will be like when my existing family is gone and I've not started one of my own. Perhaps you'll be lucky and find a woman who thinks your fetish is awesome. You're still young; there's time for anything!

Well, then its probably that I spend a lot more time thinking/worrying about that and frequently make myself upset. And about the possibility of what you suggested, I strangely doubt that would happen, so there's pessimism too. 

Maybe I need help. 

But if you don't mind saying, is your reason for not wanting to start a family because of your a/sexuality or something else? 

[StrangeStory]

On 25/2/2017 at 6:57 PM, Anonymoushr12 said:

But if you don't mind saying, is your reason for not wanting to start a family because of your a/sexuality or something else? 

That's just one of many reasons. I'm perfectly happy by myself. I don't like the idea of sharing a house with someone and being exposed to their personal hygiene routine - or exposing them to mine. I also tend to get tired of women: After the infatuation, there's nothing, just irritation. I've never experienced romantic love, and I don't want to. It seems like a burden to me. (For example: people who stay in unhappy relationships because they love their partner.) I do experience attraction to some women, but I know that attraction will get switched off if I get close to them as I have various repulsion issues with the human body. Also, I never want to have any part of the nonsense (as I like to call it) which comes with relationships, such as arguments, misunderstandings and lack of communication.

 

I don't think I would ever adopt a child either, mainly for financial reasons. (Let's face it: children are for the rich. That's why desperately poor people never have kids.... Ha ha ha! Maybe in another universe somewhere...)

 

Being a happy single has "set me free". It means there's a whole segment of life which I simply don't have to worry about. It's great.

 

On 25/2/2017 at 6:57 PM, Anonymoushr12 said:

And about the possibility of what you suggested, I strangely doubt that would happen, so there's pessimism too.

With 7 billion people in the world, you can never know what's possible. I can picture girls hearing about your fetish and saying things like, "Oh, that's so cute!" or "That's so awesome!"

My best friend is a woman, almost exactly the same age as me. She knows more about me than anyone (and I'm like, another level of weird) and she just accepts me, and never thinks anything less of me. I'm sure you could find someone like that, maybe with some added romantic attraction.