Accused of sociopathy

[CentaurianPrincess]

I was once assumed to be an unfeeling sociopath due to my not wanting sex. I had to explain to them romance without sex. Has anyone else experienced this?

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I've been accused of being cold and uncaring throughout my life, but that's primarily due to undiagnosed ASD. Some people have reacted negatively to my lack of interest in romance and babies though, as though either of those things is the ultimate 'feeling' tester.

[Guest]

Yeah. Someone even told me it was unhealthy not to want sex and that i was cold and uncaring.

[ChillaKilla]

Yep, but for aromanticism rather than asexuality

[Laplace]

I'm already known amongst my friends for being cynical and straightforward, but in a refreshing sort of way. In school, some people accused me of being callous, sociopathic/antisocial (clearly did not research what the words actually meant), and robotic/emotionless (though the robot part was sometimes due to my handwriting looking like computer font). The worst people said I'd end up being a school shooter or something. I'll admit that I'm serious and, occasionally, a socially uninviting person, but the rest is slander. In fact, I feel like I have a superior moral compass compared to many of my former classmates. 

[zoomlentil]

I've been called cold many times in my current relationship. It hurts big time. Not wanting sex or not wanting to be close all the time breaks peoples' brains I think. I don't understand why they feel the need to say such hurtful things though.

[Estrella Starr]

I've been called cold a lot in my life but I actually had my own fear of being a sociopath when I was growing up because I didn't have a word for how I was feeling. 

[Lovrina]

which is weird, because sociopaths are known to be sexually promiscuous. do people even know what the hell they're talking about? I've been accused of being a narcissist myself. seriously what's up with that.

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

I think that it was just a name calling episode by somebody who doesn't accept people who are different. Sociopaths , as pointed out by Lovrina , are usually promiscuous, they use sex as a form of power and punishment too. I know, I married a sociopath.

[cel0x]

I, personally, only just figured out that I'm ace but I've had this conversation with a partner before. It actually came right before he guilted me into the act. I had no idea why I had no drive for it, but his constantly calling me crazy didn't help. -_-; Now I feel more comfortable knowing that I'm not crazy, he was just a jerk for not understanding and calling me a crazy, unfeeling... explative. lol

[Ettina]

I was told that I couldn't love.

[Topi]

Nobody ever said that to me. I thought I was normal, until I became repulsed by men' bodies. 

 

Nobody cared about it. Occasionally, someone would comment in my lack of boyfriends, but as soon as I would say, I wasn't interested in dating or the rest, they would shut up and move on with their lives. So I never felt weird or like I was lacking something. 

 

I guess I was just lucky with the people surrounding me and with my oblivious nature to never have felt that way. Also, my family always said to first focus on my studies and only after in dating. So, I thought the fact of never wanting a boyfriend or relationship in general was normal. And as I am still studying, I still have that excuse.  

[CentaurianPrincess]

10 hours ago, cel0x said:

I, personally, only just figured out that I'm ace but I've had this conversation with a partner before. It actually came right before he guilted me into the act. I had no idea why I had no drive for it, but his constantly calling me crazy didn't help. -_-; Now I feel more comfortable knowing that I'm not crazy, he was just a jerk for not understanding and calling me a crazy, unfeeling... explative. lol

He sounds like a sociopath.

[012]

On 1/22/2017 at 1:10 AM, Lovrina said:

which is weird, because sociopaths are known to be sexually promiscuous. do people even know what the hell they're talking about? 

In a word... "No"

[SorryNotSorry]

On January 29, 2017 at 1:59 AM, chandrakirti said:

I think that it was just a name calling episode by somebody who doesn't accept people who are different. Sociopaths , as pointed out by Lovrina , are usually promiscuous, they use sex as a form of power and punishment too. I know, I married a sociopath.

Understandable... I have a copy of Confessions of a Sociopath by Morgan Thomas. She reveals that for her, it was never about love (she says she doesn't feel love), but she was always experimenting with kinky sex because for her it was all about getting a better pleasure rush.

[Sherlocks]

On 1/20/2017 at 4:38 AM, spacefae said:

I was once assumed to be an unfeeling sociopath due to my not wanting sex. I had to explain to them romance without sex. Has anyone else experienced this?

 

I been called every type of crazy in the book. The only thing I not been accused of is OCD. Ironically the one person smart enough to figure me out was a histrionic. Which are known to be manipulative. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[SorryNotSorry]

5 minutes ago, Sherlocks said:

I been called every type of crazy in the book. The only thing I not been accused of is OCD. Ironically the one person smart enough to figure me out was a histrionic. Which are known to be manipulative. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While histrionics can be manipulative, they need constant validation from others. A narcissist or a sociopath can be a hermit, but by definition, a histrionic can't.

[Sherlocks]

3 minutes ago, Woodworker1968 said:

While histrionics can be manipulative, they need constant validation from others. A narcissist or a sociopath can be a hermit, but by definition, a histrionic can't.

 

 

Yeah that was kind of the problem and they happily through me under the bus when I exposed the little game we were playing. I must admit it was very fun testing my wits against them. Finally found someone at my level to play with me. Oh, those are some terrible games though, terrible games indeed. Destroyed my friend circle in one clean swipe. I lost to that little witch, but oh the fun of playing with someone was oh too tempting. What a fool I was, what a fool. 

[drjohnhwatson]

Story time, haha.

 

I made friends with someone on this Beatle board years and years and years ago.  We eventually became better friends, and she followed me on Twitter and Tumblr, as you do.  We talked a lot, like all the time.  I wasn't in a great place, and neither was she.  But anyway, she ended up telling me that she loved me.  I don't even know if I knew that I was asexual at the time, but I told her that I didn't like girls and, you know, sorry about that.

 

She called me a cold bitch, threw some Bob Dylan lyrics at me, and said her mother was right about me and said we'd better not talk anymore.  I was like OK, I guess, and she blocked me on everything and I thought that was it.

 

A few days or a week or so later, my mom picked me up from work with a letter she'd received from Canada.  It was anonymous, but that girl was the only friend I'd had in Canada, so...didn't take Sherlock Holmes to crack that case, yanno?!

 

She had written to my mother warning her (and I KNOW for a fact I didn't give her my address because she'd wanted to send me stuff and I got a bad feeling and declined giving it to her) that I was a danger to myself and to others and that my parents should institutionalise me before I did harm and that I was a sociopath.  It was unreal.

 

So yeah!  I've been called a sociopath before.

[tiptoenail]

Wow, that's a new one I have never heard of an asexual called a sociopath before, geeez normally people think were just gay but being called out as a sociopath. Wow

[NerotheReaper]

I haven't been called a sociopath yet, I am usually pretty cold and distant with people. Just because of other past issues, I just prefer to be alone. At least being asexual I don't need to worry about pregnancy or getting an STD. So I think I kind of win in the end  

[Tatsuya]

Yes, although in my case I was eventually diagnosed with a lack of empathy (not sociopathy/anti-social personality disorder though).

[MissingNoomber]

Was called a sociopath by someone also. Their reasoning was because I didn't dare expresss my emotions to them. Funny fellow.

[ohmygosh]

Hi guys. I can tell you that being with some asexuals can very much resemble being with a sociopath. Like, a gentler, but indeed very cold and sympathy-devoid human. Maybe not all, but mine was not able to go outside of his own nature to express genuine care for another person. He could act like he could, or at least he thinks he can, but he really could not when push came to shove. So, yes, there are cross-over traits which are the source of a lot of pain for mixed relationships. I agree it's not a manipulation or malicious thoughts, which is good for everyone involved. That's different from the sociopath, I think. The problem comes in when real empathy and sympathy are missing, so is the internal compulsion to consider others over yourself (assuming you have this problem). Which can lead to morally gray areas that would of a second nature and as anticipated behavior.  It's not a coincide if you lack an ability to feel certain things and have heard this before. It's part of what makes you unable to "turn-on" that part that other people seem to have. Not trying to be offensive. Just trying to describe what I can see too. 

 

It is what it is. I just don't think ace's should date sexual s because they ARE very different. 

[knittinghistorian]

I don't think any of those traits are linked to asexuality, particularly.  Some asexuals may be that way, but so may some sexuals.  I think you're presenting the common misconception that lack of romantic or sexual love = lack of love, which is bulls***.

[AwkwardAxolotl]

My first therapist promptly decided I was a sociopath when I told her I was asexual, so I quit seeing her and found another one.

[Mermaidy]

do any of these people whom people are mentioning even know what sociopathy is? lol

 

 

4 hours ago, ohmygosh said:

Hi guys. I can tell you that being with some asexuals can very much resemble being with a sociopath. Like, a gentler, but indeed very cold and sympathy-devoid human. Maybe not all, but mine was not able to go outside of his own nature to express genuine care for another person. He could act like he could, or at least he thinks he can, but he really could not when push came to shove. So, yes, there are cross-over traits which are the source of a lot of pain for mixed relationships. I agree it's not a manipulation or malicious thoughts, which is good for everyone involved. That's different from the sociopath, I think. The problem comes in when real empathy and sympathy are missing, so is the internal compulsion to consider others over yourself (assuming you have this problem). Which can lead to morally gray areas that would of a second nature and as anticipated behavior.  It's not a coincide if you lack an ability to feel certain things and have heard this before. It's part of what makes you unable to "turn-on" that part that other people seem to have. Not trying to be offensive. Just trying to describe what I can see too. 

 

It is what it is. I just don't think ace's should date sexual s because they ARE very different. 

literally nothing you described in your anecdote has anything to do with asexuality/sexual orientation.  the ability to perceive empathy/sympathy is independent from sexual orientation.

by that logic, since I'm asexual and since one of my traits is shyness, shyness must be a common trait among asexuals - because you're considering that the traits you've noticed in the "asexual" people you've met are specifically asexual traits. your logic is flawed, whether you're talking about asexuality or something else.

 

btw, any "thing" can have "cross-over traits" with another "thing," but it doesn't mean that the two "things" are related.

 

[Sean_Bird]

4 hours ago, ohmygosh said:

Hi guys. I can tell you that being with some asexuals can very much resemble being with a sociopath. Like, a gentler, but indeed very cold and sympathy-devoid human. Maybe not all, but mine was not able to go outside of his own nature to express genuine care for another person. He could act like he could, or at least he thinks he can, but he really could not when push came to shove. So, yes, there are cross-over traits which are the source of a lot of pain for mixed relationships. I agree it's not a manipulation or malicious thoughts, which is good for everyone involved. That's different from the sociopath, I think. The problem comes in when real empathy and sympathy are missing, so is the internal compulsion to consider others over yourself (assuming you have this problem). Which can lead to morally gray areas that would of a second nature and as anticipated behavior.  It's not a coincide if you lack an ability to feel certain things and have heard this before. It's part of what makes you unable to "turn-on" that part that other people seem to have. Not trying to be offensive. Just trying to describe what I can see too. 

 

It is what it is. I just don't think ace's should date sexual s because they ARE very different. 

Just because someone doesn't feel sexual attraction, doesn't mean that they don't feel empathy or sympathy. In all honesty, the only people I've met in real life (and I have met a lot of asexuals) who resembled sociopaths were heterosexuals. (both men and women) Some of the kindest and most empathetic people I've ever met were asexuals. Going by your logic, heterosexuals have more crossover characteristics than asexuals, based on my personal experience.

 

What you're describing is an anti-social personality disorder in one person, which is completely different than attraction and can't be used to describe an entire population based on orientation. If you think that sexual attraction is required for sympathy and empathy, then does that also mean that your siblings (or any family member) can't feel any sympathy or empathy for you since they're not sexually attracted to you?

[bluecoldchilipepper]

I used to think I was a sociopath. I used to do extensive research and became kind of briefly obsessed. In retrospect, just because I don't show affection the same way other people do, doesn't make me a sociopath. If you care bout other people and what other people think of you, you're not a sociopath or a psychopath.

[ohmygosh]

Hi guys, I a appreciate the feedback on my rants.  I was hurt by someone who is asexual and lacked empathy towards my Herero-straight orientation to the point of dishonesty.  I know that was our specific situation too. But, I get what you are saying. Straight or sexuals are all subject to uniqueness of behaviors just as much.  I will take your feedback with a grain of salt and appreciate your responses.