that1hippie Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 but i really dont wanna force myself to be sexual anymore! gah! happy i found this site. im still very much struggling with desiring "normalcy" but find comfort in not being alone. much love to you all💜 Link to post Share on other sites
LV321 Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 Much love to you! I understand not wanting to force yourself into being something you're very much not, but also not wanting to be who you are. I'm sure many people here can also relate. Thanks for joining us! Link to post Share on other sites
HallsiKallsi Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 I have definitely experienced this as well, I felt really bad when I had a girlfriend because when we would have sex I would be so disinterested which made her not want it, of course we ended up breaking up but we're friends. Still very hard to find someone to love when a huge part in many people's minds just doesn't register in yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Ellaj Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 Hi and welcome, I am a newbie here but just wanted to offer my support. I understand the struggle desiring normalcy. I'm 41 yrs old and still trying to figure all of this out. Sometimes trusting your own truth can be difficult but I've learnt it's okay to question your choices, change your mind, go back and forth. There's strength to be found in that. Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 Welcome to AVEN! Â I'm glad you found your way here!! : ) It's not easy for everyone to come to terms with being asexual, but you're not alone in this journey. It's far better to learn to accept you for you than to force yourself to be something you're not. There are a lot of people that can relate to you. : ) Â I really hope you enjoy being a member here, and I wish you the best! Â Link to post Share on other sites
AnneSexnot Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 Right there with you, sister. I experienced a lot of sorrow, realizing what this was. Lyrics from that Howard Jones song "No One Is To Blame" come to mind:  You can look at the menu, but you just can't eatYou can feel the cushion, but you can't have a seatYou can dip your foot in the pool, but you can't have a swimYou can feel the punishment, but you can't commit the sin  Ok, that's a little dramatic. But I mourn the sexuality I will never have, the connection to people I am incapable of feeling. The marriage and kids I know I won't have, unless a miracle happens and I meet my Ace Prince Charming. But I am not alone, and neither are you. Link to post Share on other sites
A-Scale Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Welcome! Don't feel bad, you have plenty of people who feel the same as you. We're all in this together. If it's any consolation, I'm also asexual but I've found a lot of joy in who I am. And we have each other to create a better community with. Link to post Share on other sites
ChewBecka Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 Welcome that1hippie! So glad you found your way here. I know exactly what you mean, and whilst it can be a really hard thing to deal with, it's so great to have a community like this to find friends and likeminded people in  wishing you the best of luck as you explore what it means to you and this forum!  Link to post Share on other sites
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