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The suicide thread


Max Payne

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I feel this really goes under addressed in the community of both asexuals and sexuals alike.

What first comes to mind when people think of suicide and relationships is verbal, physical, and mental abuse.

What really goes unaddressed are those people who undermine themselves etc because they say they can't get into a relationship of find people.

What are your guys thoughts on this?

I know already someone will try and kill this thread so have at your attempt.

 

 

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Anthracite_Impreza

I feel this should be in the hot box...

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Just now, fiѕh said:

It will die a horrible death in the hot box tho

Well, it still should be there

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I don't think this should be in hot box. 

 

What if someone's having a really hard time and needs support? It might be a good way to those of us who are concerned about voicing their potentially dangerous thoughts to feel like they can. 

 

I'm a little shocked to see this being treated so coldly, actually. 

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15 minutes ago, Moophie said:

I don't think this should be in hot box. 

 

What if someone's having a really hard time and needs support? It might be a good way to those of us who are concerned about voicing their potentially dangerous thoughts to feel like they can. 

 

I'm a little shocked to see this being treated so coldly, actually. 

Kind of agree with both. It's not belonging in this subforum, but maybe something like (h)AVEN or T&S, not Hot Box

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14 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

Kind of agree with both. It's not belonging in this subforum, but maybe something like (h)AVEN or T&S, not Hot Box

Agreed. Just somewhere that it won't potentially get torn up.

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Isn't that all the same thing though? People commit suicide due to depression, hopelessness, pain. The specific manifestation often, I think, includes a belief that one won't find someone special or that they are ruining the life of their current someone special. I just don't see that as a separate and distinct issue that needs special attention.

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Anthracite_Impreza
36 minutes ago, Moophie said:

I don't think this should be in hot box. 

 

What if someone's having a really hard time and needs support? It might be a good way to those of us who are concerned about voicing their potentially dangerous thoughts to feel like they can. 

 

I'm a little shocked to see this being treated so coldly, actually. 

From what I understood in the OP they were wanting a discussion, not venting/sympathy *shrugs*

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34 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

From what I understood in the OP they were wanting a discussion, not venting/sympathy *shrugs*

Edit: I'm having a ridiculously hard time with the quotes on this forum... Anywho, I'm sure you're right. I don't know the best place for this thread but I disagree that it should be hotbox. Lost of threads about opinions are outside of hotbox.

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I think there's a lot of pain in both scenarios. It can be painful beyond description to want a relationship, but to feel incapable of such a thing. When queer identities get mixed into feeling alone, sometimes it can feel like your queer identity is the reason you're alone, and that you'll never find someone. That's painful. And there's never any guarantee, so I can't just come along and say "Don't worry, you'll find someone someday, just be patient". Because that's not a complete truth. I can't see the future.

 

There can also be a lot of pain in relationships, especially when mental health and/or abuse become factors. On the flip side of the coin, there can be a lot of joy in being alone, and a lot of joy in relationships.

 

Pain and suicide are very hurtful things (a bit of a tautology, but hey). I wouldn't wish that on anyone, and I wish I had a solution. :cake: I just try to remember that human beings have a remarkable ability to be happy. Over time, we often find ways to adapt to whatever our situation is, and to adapt our situation to work. Somewhere in the middle, over time, things probably turn out. It may not have been the solution you had thought was right, it may be something completely different but that you end up happy anyways. And the versatility of humans is remarkable in that respect.

 

But suicide happens when the moment is too much. If you can get support to get past that, then I believe that old saying; where there's life, there's hope.

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1 hour ago, Heart said:

I think there's a lot of pain in both scenarios. It can be painful beyond description to want a relationship, but to feel incapable of such a thing. When queer identities get mixed into feeling alone, sometimes it can feel like your queer identity is the reason you're alone, and that you'll never find someone. That's painful. And there's never any guarantee, so I can't just come along and say "Don't worry, you'll find someone someday, just be patient". Because that's not a complete truth. I can't see the future.

 

There can also be a lot of pain in relationships, especially when mental health and/or abuse become factors. On the flip side of the coin, there can be a lot of joy in being alone, and a lot of joy in relationships.

 

Pain and suicide are very hurtful things (a bit of a tautology, but hey). I wouldn't wish that on anyone, and I wish I had a solution. :cake: I just try to remember that human beings have a remarkable ability to be happy. Over time, we often find ways to adapt to whatever our situation is, and to adapt our situation to work. Somewhere in the middle, over time, things probably turn out. It may not have been the solution you had thought was right, it may be something completely different but that you end up happy anyways. And the versatility of humans is remarkable in that respect.

 

But suicide happens when the moment is too much. If you can get support to get past that, then I believe that old saying; where there's life, there's hope.

Now, there's the topic I was waiting on.

Even with support it can still happen.  Mental health isn't as a factor as abuse is.

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I have severe depression and I don't think of verbal, physical and mental abuse. I just feel hopeless, my anxiety also contributes to my feelings of hopelessnes.

I don't agree with you at all. My family would say I was just in an extreme ammount of psychological pain like @CBC said. 

I could be in a relationship if I wanted but i am so psychologically messed up that it would be a horrible thing to do for both of us. Also I don't see a future for myself so I don't think of relationships as a huge thing, I mean I never have(Since i am asexual and aporomantic).

I'm just confused on your views about depression and relationships. 

I know a couple who are both depressed and they are helping each other heal and it's beautiful. I also know a couple where only one person is depressed, it is a struggle for them but love prevails. Yes, there's most likely people who haven't been able to be this lucky with their significant other but that just means they weren't right for each other. And it is better to get out of a bad relationship than just be stuck in it, it's a hard situation and some people never get unstuck. 

Depression is a sad sad sad thing to deal with my whole view is a grey cloud cast over everything. U can't pinpoint what went wrong and it's horrible. My medication isn't really working but I am just in this haze so I don't care. I have tried to take my own life and have been hosptialized. An uncle of mine took his own life, he was married, had a couple kids and everything seemed perfect from the outside. Depression is a silent killer, suicide usually is out of the blue to everyone around the person, but to them it has been there for a long time and they just passed their breaking point. 

I tried to comment to the best of my ability, still confused about what u wanted?

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3 hours ago, Saint Nicole, said:

I have severe depression and I don't think of verbal, physical and mental abuse. I just feel hopeless, my anxiety also contributes to my feelings of hopelessness.

I don't agree with you at all. My family would say I was just in an extreme amount of psychological pain like @CBC said. 

I could be in a relationship if I wanted but i am so psychologically messed up that it would be a horrible thing to do for both of us. Also I don't see a future for myself so I don't think of relationships as a huge thing, I mean I never have(Since i am asexual and aporomantic).

I'm just confused on your views about depression and relationships. 

I know a couple who are both depressed and they are helping each other heal and it's beautiful. I also know a couple where only one person is depressed, it is a struggle for them but love prevails. Yes, there's most likely people who haven't been able to be this lucky with their significant other but that just means they weren't right for each other. And it is better to get out of a bad relationship than just be stuck in it, it's a hard situation and some people never get unstuck. 

Depression is a sad sad sad thing to deal with my whole view is a grey cloud cast over everything. U can't pinpoint what went wrong and it's horrible. My medication isn't really working but I am just in this haze so I don't care. I have tried to take my own life and have been hospitalized. An uncle of mine took his own life, he was married, had a couple kids and everything seemed perfect from the outside. Depression is a silent killer, suicide usually is out of the blue to everyone around the person, but to them it has been there for a long time and they just passed their breaking point. 

I tried to comment to the best of my ability, still confused about what u wanted?

hmm no help and support from anyone any comment?

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Here's what I understand:

What first comes to mind when people think of suicide and relationships is verbal, physical, and mental abuse.

The assumption that feelings of suicide while in a (romantic?) relationship is a result of abuse. I think a few people have already noted that these things are not always related.

 

What really goes unaddressed are those people who undermine themselves etc because they say they can't get into a relationship of find people.

... which is tied to people who, with complicated/low self-esteem, cannot find a romantic partner?

 

Are you saying they have low self-esteem because they were abused? Are you actually more interested in talking about the 2nd point - about the difficulty of finding/maintaining romantic relationships due to low self-esteem? If so, why are you calling this "the suicide thread"? Because suicide, in this case, seems more related to the first point than the second point. But then your most recent post suggests you're actually looking for support/sympathy than a discussion about depression (which is more related to low self-esteem). Then should it really be in SPFA?

 

Seriously OP. If you could clarify what you wanted to really talk about, it would be pretty helpful; No snarky replies necessary. It isn't like sexies only stay in this area of the forum either; if this was in the appropriate place (which none of us know anyway because of the lack of clarity) you would still get a good response rate from A/sexies across AVEN.

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12 hours ago, Naosuu said:

Here's what I understand:

What first comes to mind when people think of suicide and relationships is verbal, physical, and mental abuse.

The assumption that feelings of suicide while in a (romantic?) relationship is a result of abuse. I think a few people have already noted that these things are not always related.

 

What really goes unaddressed are those people who undermine themselves etc because they say they can't get into a relationship of find people.

... which is tied to people who, with complicated/low self-esteem, cannot find a romantic partner?

 

Are you saying they have low self-esteem because they were abused? Are you actually more interested in talking about the 2nd point - about the difficulty of finding/maintaining romantic relationships due to low self-esteem? If so, why are you calling this "the suicide thread"? Because suicide, in this case, seems more related to the first point than the second point. But then your most recent post suggests you're actually looking for support/sympathy than a discussion about depression (which is more related to low self-esteem). Then should it really be in SPFA?

 

Seriously OP. If you could clarify what you wanted to really talk about, it would be pretty helpful; No snarky replies necessary. It isn't like sexies only stay in this area of the forum either; if this was in the appropriate place (which none of us know anyway because of the lack of clarity) you would still get a good response rate from A/sexies across AVEN.

alright, first of all this isn't a suicide thread focusing on me like you say.

It's at the second point in general.

 

 

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This post confuses me. I was just putting in my opinion. I don't need support or help becasue I have my famly for that. 

I was just trying to give an answer to the best of my ability.

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I think people try/succeed in suicide because they feel that's the only way to get out of their pain.   There can be many different causes of that pain depending on the individual's life.  

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BladeQuill3807
On 1/19/2017 at 8:58 AM, Tri-Point said:

 

I feel this really goes under addressed in the community of both asexuals and sexuals alike.

What first comes to mind when people think of suicide and relationships is verbal, physical, and mental abuse.

What really goes unaddressed are those people who undermine themselves etc because they say they can't get into a relationship of find people.

What are your guys thoughts on this?

 

Hi, I wanted to respond to your post to the best of my ability. To do this, I'm going to share my personal experiences. 

 

I am a 17 year old girl in the U.S., and I am currently a Senior in high school. In 9th grade, I figured out that I was depressive, and that my family has depressive tendencies (basically I'm depressed because of my genes). I have good days and bad days, and or the most part, I'm pretty good at dealing with my depression on my own and can just sleep it off. However, I have contemplated hurting myself and committing suicide in the past. What always stopped me from self harm was the shame - if I cut myself, my family and friends would see it. But what would make the most impact when I was feeling suicidal was thinking about how much I would miss my siblings if one of them died. Their happiness is really important to me, so I am always grounded by thoughts of them.

 

However, not only am I depressive, I am a gray-asexual. Contrary to the direction of your post, my sexuality hasn't really impacted my depression, as I'm perfectly okay with my own sexuality and happen to be dating my best friend (it's awesome). I do wonder how he will take it when I am comfortable sharing all of this with him (he knows I'm depressive, but I didn't have the gray asexual thing figured out until recently).

 

Thus, in a personal response to your post, I would say that I have not been negatively impacted my my sexuality in manners that made me contemplate suicide or become depressed. In fact, I knew I was depressive years before I knew I was asexual. So, I guess this is the bright side to your post. I do however, see your side - people might become lonely and depressed if they feel a lack of understanding and acceptance in the world around them.

 

Unfortunately, I have also experienced a part of this downside. My high school has a really big problem with suicide - as in, during my freshman year two people committed suicide, in my sophomore year two kids committed suicide - and last year was the worst. The Monday before finals week a freshman committed suicide. That Friday, another freshman committed suicide. The day after school ended, one of my best friends committed suicide. Now, most of these suicides were assumed to be stress-related due to school, but I was really affected by my friend's passing. I think about it every day and it is the reason why I no longer think about committing suicide myself. I suddenly understood how much pain it would put others through, and how much impact it would have on those I left behind. In a way, my friend's death helped me to overcome suicidal feelings, but I still wish that he was here instead. I'd much rather have him here now than have any sense of understanding of what the pain of loosing him is like. 

 

So, while people might become depressed and suicidal in response to having their sexuality be rejected by those around them, I feel like anyone could feel this way for a variety of reasons. The important thing is to find coping mechanisms or a community that will help. It doesn't matter how or why you became depressed or suicidal, so long as you find these ways to cope and continue living, and maybe even heal. 

 

I hope this helps, sorry for how long it was.

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On 1/22/2017 at 6:17 PM, BladeQuill3807 said:

Hi, I wanted to respond to your post to the best of my ability. To do this, I'm going to share my personal experiences. 

 

I am a 17 year old girl in the U.S., and I am currently a Senior in high school. In 9th grade, I figured out that I was depressive, and that my family has depressive tendencies (basically I'm depressed because of my genes). I have good days and bad days, and or the most part, I'm pretty good at dealing with my depression on my own and can just sleep it off. However, I have contemplated hurting myself and committing suicide in the past. What always stopped me from self harm was the shame - if I cut myself, my family and friends would see it. But what would make the most impact when I was feeling suicidal was thinking about how much I would miss my siblings if one of them died. Their happiness is really important to me, so I am always grounded by thoughts of them.

 

However, not only am I depressive, I am a gray-asexual. Contrary to the direction of your post, my sexuality hasn't really impacted my depression, as I'm perfectly okay with my own sexuality and happen to be dating my best friend (it's awesome). I do wonder how he will take it when I am comfortable sharing all of this with him (he knows I'm depressive, but I didn't have the gray asexual thing figured out until recently).

 

Thus, in a personal response to your post, I would say that I have not been negatively impacted my my sexuality in manners that made me contemplate suicide or become depressed. In fact, I knew I was depressive years before I knew I was asexual. So, I guess this is the bright side to your post. I do however, see your side - people might become lonely and depressed if they feel a lack of understanding and acceptance in the world around them.

 

Unfortunately, I have also experienced a part of this downside. My high school has a really big problem with suicide - as in, during my freshman year two people committed suicide, in my sophomore year two kids committed suicide - and last year was the worst. The Monday before finals week a freshman committed suicide. That Friday, another freshman committed suicide. The day after school ended, one of my best friends committed suicide. Now, most of these suicides were assumed to be stress-related due to school, but I was really affected by my friend's passing. I think about it every day and it is the reason why I no longer think about committing suicide myself. I suddenly understood how much pain it would put others through, and how much impact it would have on those I left behind. In a way, my friend's death helped me to overcome suicidal feelings, but I still wish that he was here instead. I'd much rather have him here now than have any sense of understanding of what the pain of loosing him is like. 

 

So, while people might become depressed and suicidal in response to having their sexuality be rejected by those around them, I feel like anyone could feel this way for a variety of reasons. The important thing is to find coping mechanisms or a community that will help. It doesn't matter how or why you became depressed or suicidal, so long as you find these ways to cope and continue living, and maybe even heal. 

 

I hope this helps, sorry for how long it was.

You missed the point completely, I'm not suicidal. I was entertaining the thought of suicide by relationship failure, family relations etc.
 

As for family; outcasting. shaming, etc. pretty much the usual stuff.
Think of mixed race children in a KKK family.

 

And yes friendships are hard. Friend died from Jan. 7,  still doesn't affect me.

 

Environment may be an issue, don't know what circumstances they were in.

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On 1/22/2017 at 6:17 PM, BladeQuill3807 said:

Hi, I wanted to respond to your post to the best of my ability. To do this, I'm going to share my personal experiences. 

 

I am a 17 year old girl in the U.S., and I am currently a Senior in high school. In 9th grade, I figured out that I was depressive, and that my family has depressive tendencies (basically I'm depressed because of my genes). I have good days and bad days, and or the most part, I'm pretty good at dealing with my depression on my own and can just sleep it off. However, I have contemplated hurting myself and committing suicide in the past. What always stopped me from self harm was the shame - if I cut myself, my family and friends would see it. But what would make the most impact when I was feeling suicidal was thinking about how much I would miss my siblings if one of them died. Their happiness is really important to me, so I am always grounded by thoughts of them.

 

However, not only am I depressive, I am a gray-asexual. Contrary to the direction of your post, my sexuality hasn't really impacted my depression, as I'm perfectly okay with my own sexuality and happen to be dating my best friend (it's awesome). I do wonder how he will take it when I am comfortable sharing all of this with him (he knows I'm depressive, but I didn't have the gray asexual thing figured out until recently).

 

Thus, in a personal response to your post, I would say that I have not been negatively impacted my my sexuality in manners that made me contemplate suicide or become depressed. In fact, I knew I was depressive years before I knew I was asexual. So, I guess this is the bright side to your post. I do however, see your side - people might become lonely and depressed if they feel a lack of understanding and acceptance in the world around them.

 

Unfortunately, I have also experienced a part of this downside. My high school has a really big problem with suicide - as in, during my freshman year two people committed suicide, in my sophomore year two kids committed suicide - and last year was the worst. The Monday before finals week a freshman committed suicide. That Friday, another freshman committed suicide. The day after school ended, one of my best friends committed suicide. Now, most of these suicides were assumed to be stress-related due to school, but I was really affected by my friend's passing. I think about it every day and it is the reason why I no longer think about committing suicide myself. I suddenly understood how much pain it would put others through, and how much impact it would have on those I left behind. In a way, my friend's death helped me to overcome suicidal feelings, but I still wish that he was here instead. I'd much rather have him here now than have any sense of understanding of what the pain of loosing him is like. 

 

So, while people might become depressed and suicidal in response to having their sexuality be rejected by those around them, I feel like anyone could feel this way for a variety of reasons. The important thing is to find coping mechanisms or a community that will help. It doesn't matter how or why you became depressed or suicidal, so long as you find these ways to cope and continue living, and maybe even heal. 

 

I hope this helps, sorry for how long it was.

"What is to give light must stand burning"

 

 BladeQuill3807 was sharing her hardship in order to show you your not alone. Is it possible your upset that someone is trying to place themselves on your level when your so used to being alone ? 

 

I know what it's like to be alone I have removed many toxic people from my life . Are you worried you will fall apart if you're unable to find a romantic partner or support system ? 

 

Or have I missed the mark 😅

 

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