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ConfusedAroAce

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ConfusedAroAce

I'm new to AVEN, and I'm aroace. I have two friends, one bi and one poly. They're both ace as well, and they're dating each other. I generally do not have positive emotions about being aroace. Usually I'm indifferent, and there are a few times when I pride myself for being aroace. But there's a lot of times when I feel broken and alone, and I know I'm not supposed to think that way but society revolves around the idea that if you're single and a virgin, then you're alone, broken, and you don't have a very bright future, and it revolves around it so much that I'm starting to believe it. My friends have been really good about supporting me and making me feel welcome, and it means a lot to me, but they're not there all the time, which is why I came to AVEN. What I've been really needing this whole time is someone who is aromantic, which is what has been getting to me the most, and I'm hoping to find people like me here.

 

I guess that's it, to sum it all up. I'm open to talking to other aro and/or ace people, and more than willing to talk to you if you need it because I know what that feels like and I don't want you to be alone. That's it, then. Hello, AVEN!

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14 minutes ago, ConfusedAroAce said:

But there's a lot of times when I feel broken and alone, and I know I'm not supposed to think that way but society revolves around the idea that if you're single and a virgin, then you're alone, broken, and you don't have a very bright future, and it revolves around it so much that I'm starting to believe it.

Please don't think that way! It's not worth the effort. Who cares what society thinks! If everyone believed what the media and society wanted, all the world's couples would look like Ken and Barbie.

 

Welcome to AVEN and enjoy your time visiting. I know I have. I'm feeling a lot more positive about my feeling even though they were more or less neutral about being an Ace before signing up.

 

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ConfusedAroAce

Thank you! Yes, I know there is no real reason to be down about it, but I'm trying! I'm hoping that meeting other people here like you will help me feel better about this. : )

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Hey Confused,

 

I feel down about it, too. I spent a lot of my life trying to "fix" it, which took me down some dark paths. (I became a meth addict for awhile, with the idea it would give me a sexier body and pump up my sex drive, which it kind of did temporarily.) I am romantic and wish I wasn't, because I feel like my potential dating pool is so small if I were to "come out" as ace. And I wish I just didn't "need" to have closeness and intimacy.

 

I was single for 8 years in my 30s and 40s, and am in a 5+ year relationship which is kind of a sham, in that my boyfriend is sexual, and I can't truly join him. I can perform and submit, but my heart (and, um, loins) are rarely in it.

For a long time, I figured that when I meet the right person, something would change. (This is demisexual, correct? Demi is not me, unfortunately. I wish it was.)

But regardless of whether I tell people (and I've told nobody I know), I feel a spark of hope in the idea that I'm being true to myself. And that I am not broken or repressed or depressed or mentally ill, that there are a lot of people like me out there, and it's all good. 

 

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Welcome to AVEN! :cake: Thank you for sharing your story with us! I'm glad you found your way here. : ) You're not alone, nor are you broken. It can be really tough to come to these conclusions when you feel like you're the only one, but there's a ton of friendly and supportive people that can relate to you here. : ) There are also a lot of aromantics that I'm sure would like to share their experiences with you! Perhaps you could check out the Romantic and Aromantic Orientations part of the forum? Best wishes, and I hope you enjoy being a member~

 

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