sithamonroll Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 BE PREPARED FOR A POORLY WRITTEN RANT LIKE THING THAT'S ESSENTIALLY ME COMPLAINING I've always prided myself on being independent, not needing a relationship, hell, even being appalled by the thought of having one for my own... I've come to terms now with the fact that the majority of relationships I have seen are abusive, and I don't think I've seen any healthy ones (not off the top of my head, anyway). Thus, while remaining 110% cynical, I have come to realize the idea of a relationship may not be as bad as I once thought. In fact, I almost want one. The support, the sweet moments, cute little things, all of that stupid cute shit you see in fan fiction I suppose, minus the sex of course. Ugh, sex. *shudders*. I know of course nothing is ever perfect, nor do I expect to find a relationship that requires no work. However, I've only attracted the creepiest males you could ever imagine, had enough negative experiences to be wary and almost afraid of men. Like I said, I never get positive attention, unless it's from male friends. I don't show a lot of my body, so I don't understand why I get harassed more than anything positive. Not to say that showing one's body is deserving of being harassed. But anywhooooo... Getting a relationship would result in so many family members who have been attempting to force the idea of a boyfriend down my reluctant throat for years screaming "I told you so!" I've only seriously liked two people, so yay me?? Not easy to get that attachment. Not many people want a diabetic to date, unless they're making jokes. Which causes me to get so angsty I will clear out a whole IHOP while educating your ass. I'm kind of soft/chubby, which I'm fine with, but most people aren't. And despite all of this, I still long for a relationship. Aggghhhh. Idk. Link to post Share on other sites
Hawk-Heart Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Story of my life,.... Oh well, at least I'm young. Link to post Share on other sites
Zerο Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 I "want" a relationship not for the love or support, but for someone to travel and do things with. I can do that with friends, but it's only a matter of time before they find significant others and settle down. Link to post Share on other sites
Chorvus Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 I kinda relate to this? I, too, am extremely independent and even reluctant to consider myself in anything even borderline romantic... holding hands and hugs are perfectly wonderful, but I don't think I've ever had those with romantic intentions behind them. I don't know why you're being harassed? Which is awful in the first place. I know how you feel with the whole "I told you so!" thing... because people love being right, and you know that you are right but that your life changes and so do you, so they aren't completely right. But it's still annoying, because it makes it seem like they know you better than you do yourself. Longing for a relationship is okay, and something a lot of people deal with... I'm not going to recommend you "try out" or look around dating-wise, because I personally wouldn't do that either, and if you've only ever seriously liked two people (as friends? romantically?) I'm guessing it takes some time for you to warm up to people? Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 1 hour ago, sithamonroll said: I've only attracted the creepiest males you could ever imagine, had enough negative experiences to be wary and almost afraid of men. If it's any consolation, I only attract women I don't feel a spark with, so I end up getting accused of disliking women in general, which is totally untrue. 1 hour ago, sithamonroll said: Not many people want a diabetic to date, unless they're making jokes. Try having Asperger's sometime. A real date-killer. 1 hour ago, sithamonroll said: I'm kind of soft/chubby, which I'm fine with, but most people aren't. I'm a grim-looking giant, which either scares people off or makes them stare and make stupid faces at me. Link to post Share on other sites
borkfork Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 1 hour ago, sithamonroll said: Not many people want a diabetic to date, unless they're making jokes. This surprises me. My partner is diabetic (type 1) and it's been a non-issue. It's not something I ever thought of as a deal breaker. Link to post Share on other sites
VaraMoon Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Hmm...Maybe you want a relationship because it has been brought up to you from your family and you think you need to...? I had this feeling before but when I get happy, I usually don't think about finding somebody and such Link to post Share on other sites
Vicky Angel Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 I relate to some of what you are saying. I'm not diabetic, but I have more than my share of health stuff. Most people seem to stay the hell away once they know. Link to post Share on other sites
karnzter Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 I, in a way, also relate to your situation. I wanted to be in a relationship, but without most or all of the romantic and sexual elements in it. I just wanted to be with someone who treats me right, with respect and is open-minded; but on a platonic friendship level. Someone I can talk to no-holds barred who would listen to me. Share food and do activities with, but without romantic and sexual malice involved. Sadly, due to how modern society and the media shows to the masses 'the perfect man or woman' and the 'perfect relationship'; even our physical, mental, psychological, emotional, social, health, intellectual and/or spiritual appearances are scrutinized. Which really disgusts me and find it completely stupid and F'in BS. Then there's the pressure from both family and peers. Even if I always tell them that I don't have the time at all to worry about relationships and would rather focus on work and earning money for my personal wants and needs and for the family, I still get pestered nonetheless. Link to post Share on other sites
Chihiro Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 3 hours ago, Zerο said: I "want" a relationship not for the love or support, but for someone to travel and do things with. I can do that with friends, but it's only a matter of time before they find significant others and settle down. SAME! But I also expect them to care and support, I feel its essential when it comes to activities like travelling. I don't want to be planning A-Z of all activities while they do nothing except join. I didn't want one all these years because I had friends and I had only witnessed abusive relationships. But I have no friends now and I find myself craving for a relationship now. Unfortunately, the asexual men I attract only want my attention and affection and don't want anything else (like not even returning the attention and affection *rolls eyes*). I feel like they want asexual version of one night (or many night) stands. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 I can relate so much! I enjoy fictional stuff but wouldn't want that in real life for myself just the thought would make me want to hide somewhere. I'd also like to find someone to travel with and do other things with then the usual romance stuff but they are so hard to find..so i just gave up.Most people in my enviroment either want sex or romance so it's hard to find someone who really fits you. I think i'll just buy a cat. Link to post Share on other sites
sithamonroll Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 14 hours ago, Chorvus said: Longing for a relationship is okay, and something a lot of people deal with... I'm not going to recommend you "try out" or look around dating-wise, because I personally wouldn't do that either, and if you've only ever seriously liked two people (as friends? romantically?) I'm guessing it takes some time for you to warm up to people? I agree, searching out a relationship is not an option, at least not for me. Not now. But it does take me so long to open up to people, mainly due to trust issues and such. I've had more than two friends of course, but I find very few end up being close; of course, I'm not complaining. I've met some of the best people this way. Link to post Share on other sites
sithamonroll Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 14 hours ago, Woodworker1968 said: Try having Asperger's sometime. A real date-killer. I'm a grim-looking giant, which either scares people off or makes them stare and make stupid faces at me. First off, Asperger's is nothing to be ashamed of. I wish people could be more open minded about this thing. That's no reason to cast a person aside. You're still worthy of love, and it doesn't change the person you are. ALSO I RELATE TO BEING A MAJESTICALLY TALL CREATURE. I tend to find that hilarious, but since I'm female it tends to be more of a draw then a scare-away/oddity. Link to post Share on other sites
sithamonroll Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 13 hours ago, borkfork said: This surprises me. My partner is diabetic (type 1) and it's been a non-issue. It's not something I ever thought of as a deal breaker. I wish people I met were as open minded as yourself. Your partner is lucky. Best wishes to the two of you btw! Link to post Share on other sites
sithamonroll Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 12 hours ago, VaraMoon said: Hmm...Maybe you want a relationship because it has been brought up to you from your family and you think you need to...? I had this feeling before but when I get happy, I usually don't think about finding somebody and such I HAVE THE SAME THING! It's only when my mood is not so great, or depression hits. I like to think it's a thought stemming from what my family, peers, and media have force fed down my throat for years. Otherwise I'm perfectly happy alone. Hell, my life plan doesn't even involve a significant other. Link to post Share on other sites
VaraMoon Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 2 minutes ago, sithamonroll said: I HAVE THE SAME THING! It's only when my mood is not so great, or depression hits. I like to think it's a thought stemming from what my family, peers, and media have force fed down my throat for years. Otherwise I'm perfectly happy alone. Hell, my life plan doesn't even involve a significant other. "Hell, my life plan doesn't even involve a significant other." smiles. Grins. I know right? I'm more child-like, so, I know that would never happen but who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
gisiebob Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 a bodyguard who you are the bodyguard of. Link to post Share on other sites
Ramiel Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 On 1/17/2017 at 10:53 PM, Zerο said: I "want" a relationship not for the love or support, but for someone to travel and do things with. I can do that with friends, but it's only a matter of time before they find significant others and settle down. Pretty much. Friends come and go. It would be nice to have a friend who would stick around and who you could talk with. Link to post Share on other sites
Zerο Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Just now, Ramiel said: Pretty much. Friends come and go. It would be nice to have a friend who would stick around and who you could talk with. Unrelated note, saw the "Tokyo-3" bit and thought cool a NGE reference. Then saw the username/avatar and cringed. Link to post Share on other sites
Ramiel Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 1 minute ago, Zerο said: Unrelated note, saw the "Tokyo-3" bit and thought cool a NGE reference. Then saw the username/avatar and cringed. Lololol, it is working!!!! My drill bit is working! Link to post Share on other sites
artzcat Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 I relate to this. At times I really want a relationship but it's all for selfish stuff. Like I want a relationship so I don't have to do stuff by myself (like eat alone or travel) and so I can always have a partner in crime. Pretty much a super committed friend who is fine with me desperately needing them one day and needing a lot of alone time the next day. I just want someone to hang out with and in a relationship that person would feel obligated to do it and I wouldn't feel guilty for making them I don't really want a relationship, but sometimes I feel a relationship would make me more confident and that's why I want one. Like I would be more inclined to do stuff if I had someone with me. I would feel good about myself because this one person likes me. I would feel like my life wasn't completely screwed up because even though I'm an uninteresting loser in debt with no idea what I'll do in life I would at least have one thing going for me. It's all pathetic... Link to post Share on other sites
Jupiter9 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Yeah. I can relate. I think i would just like someone to travel/eat out/stay in/order takeaway/do nothing with. It might also get my Dad off my back about finding someone. Seriously one more conversation about it and I'm going to kill someone. Link to post Share on other sites
yeehaw123 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I am chubby too and I am totally fine with it buut society is all interested in either super skinny people or "cubby girls" (who have big hips, a small waist and a huge butt, like what the heck. Can there be more representaion of bodies???). Anywaays. I am also aporomantic so this means when the attraction is reciprocated i lose attraction. Soo relationships have been hard for me and honestly I don't have the need for one. But my family just thinks I haven't found the right person yet, even though I have explained to them I've been asexual as long as I can remember... *rolls eyes and facepalms* but yeah, I am totally fine just thinking about relationships and reading romance books but not being in a relationship myself. annnd I love saying this,.. Who needs a relationship when you can have animals? Link to post Share on other sites
Ettina Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 On 1/17/2017 at 10:42 PM, borkfork said: This surprises me. My partner is diabetic (type 1) and it's been a non-issue. It's not something I ever thought of as a deal breaker. Maybe the OP is type 2? Type 2 diabetes often causes obesity, which shallow people sometimes consider a deal breaker. Type 1 diabetes generally doesn't affect your appearance at all. Anyway, it really sucks that people can be so petty. Link to post Share on other sites
ghas Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I been in that situation my whole life. Link to post Share on other sites
Ayla.. Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I want a genuine best friend to share my "introverted" life with. Nothing complicated, but life apparently doesn't work that way. Link to post Share on other sites
AceCadmirer Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I recently have gotten the itch for a relationship as well. However I don't want the baggage of one... at first. I want someone to come over, or I go to them, and we hang out, cuddle, do whatever for the day/night but without any strings attached. That way if it doesn't feel right for either of us no one gets hurt. However if it does then we try again a few more times until we become an item. Just like the second sentence I don't the financial and sharing of a relationship... at first... because of college. Then there's the issue of me being an Ace guy and wanting another Ace guy with some heftiness as a partner but that's another mountain to climb another day... We all are just striking out here. Link to post Share on other sites
Fox6 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 On 18/01/2017 at 1:14 AM, sithamonroll said: However, I've only attracted the creepiest males you could ever imagine, had enough negative experiences to be wary and almost afraid of men. Since you are the common denominator, maybe you only notice when the bad kind gives you attention? Link to post Share on other sites
Ettina Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 6 hours ago, Fox6 said: Since you are the common denominator, maybe you only notice when the bad kind gives you attention? I have the same problem. In my case I think it's because I pretty much never act remotely interested (according to my parents - I can't really read those cues, but apparently I don't act flirtatious at all). So the decent guys go "oh, she's not interested" and only the creeps are willing to ignore my complete lack of flirtation and make advances anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
Glados Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I find if you are nice or polite guys in my experience take that for interest. Even if I politely tell them I'm not interested I've had one guy tell me (after claiming he loves me, which I didn't encourage as far as I can tell) that he will wait for me not change my mind. It needs to be a thing where you can be in a 'relationship' with a friend or something. Link to post Share on other sites
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