Hello and i want CAKE (also label questions)

[Zebigbos]

Hello there AVEN comunity!

 

I'm new here, so if anyone could give me some cake i would appreciate c:

 

So, my question here is about my lable. For what i've read so far i belive i fit into gray-ace (more precisely gray-heterosexual), but i want some second opinions and sugestions of other labels that can fit as well. I know that the decision of what label i am is mine an onbody elses, but i just want some opinions.

 

I am a 22 years old guy who never had a girlfriend, and during all these years i had only 2 things i belive i could call "crushes". My family thinks that i am just a late bloomer, and sooner or later this will change. I do hope to find a girlfriend in the future, even though this is not my priority at all, and i also hope to have sex with her. Notice here that for me the most appealing aspect of sex is the "ultimate intimacy" between two people, and not the act itself, if that makes any sense. When i see sex in movies/books/games/etc i can appreciate it if it is actually part of character development and fits in the context, and not fi it is there just for being there (for the gamers here: Mass Effect: nice! The Wicher: not cool.).

 

Most, if not all my friends, are sexual, and some times they will talk about sexual topica. On this ocasions i normally just activate my "emergency autism" and completely disconect from the conversation until the subject changes. They even called me assexual once or twice, even though at the time i didn't knew if it was an actual thing or just a joke, and i din't really cared anyway.

 

I watch nome porn online, but i always try to find videos that have nudity, but not actual sex. I can find the female body really beautyful and artistic (not the male, though). My "porn colection", if you want to call it that, consist of half a dozen pictures of nude/topless girls that i find particularly attractive or cute and/or that i think have a good artistic value (composition, pose, lighting, etc).

 

As i sayed before i want a girlfriend, but my vision of a ideal SO is more of a companion for life than a sexual partner. I want to be able to talk to my girl, watch a movie with her, play videogames, travel the world, etc. And, yes, SOMEtime i even think of having sex with her, but this is really the exception, not the rule.

 

So, what you guys and gals think? Do i fit into gray-ace? Am i too sexual even to be considered gray? Is there any other label that can define me better? Pelase let me know!

 

And also thank you for giving mw the place to say all this things that i would normally hide from even the most close of my friends. It is really good to take all of it out of my chest!

[scarletlatitude]

Welcome to AVEN!

 

I have some links in my profile for our lexicons. That might help you to figure out all of these labels. 

 

From what you've said, you seem like some part of the gray spectrum to me. But the label you choose is up to you. 

[Maristine]

Well I think it's important to distinguish between sexual, romantic, and aesthetic attraction. With your "porn," it sounds like your talking about purely aesthetic attraction. It could be that you're asexual and aromantic, asexual and romantic, gray asexual, gray aromantic, etc. You definitely sound like you're somewhere on the ace spectrum, but it's really up to you to figure out.