trying to figure out if i am aromantic

[watermelon123]

okay so i just recently figured out that i am asexual (irrelevant but figured id say it anyway), and now i am wondering about my romantic orientation. I definitely am not romantically attracted to girls. I've had crushes on guys and can see myself dating them and cuddling and stuff but i dont really have the desire to kiss anyone. ive never been in a relationship so im thinking maybe that will change but for now, i am asking for opinions. whenever i look up aromaticism it just says the lack of romantic attraction, but never defines what exactly that is. Any replies help thank you in advance

[AVEN #1 fan]

Romantic attraction is the definition of  a crush aka romantic love, (allo)romantic people usually need to feel it to start to desire to form a relationship with someone.

 

You had crushes for guys, so your probably androromantic.

 

 

Aromantic people don't have crushes ever.

[*kit*]

Only you can decide your orientation but wanting to date and cuddle guys (or anyone) certainly sounds romantic to me, especially since you seem to have a pretty clear contrasting certainty that you are not romantically attracted to girls and don't want to date them.  That makes me think maybe you do have a gut level internal definition of what is romantic to you.

 

Are you questioning your romantic orientation mostly because you are concerned that not wanting to kiss means you don't want a romantic relationship?  There are definitely ace people who are very romantic who don't like to kiss, so I don't know that your feelings about kissing offer definitive insight about your romantic orientation.

 

I am not aro, but for what it's worth, my mental concept of aro includes disinterest, apathy, indifference or repulsion to the idea of dating anyone or possibly to the real experience of actually dating someone.  That doesn't mean the aro person might not get super excited about the opportunity to get together with a very close platonic friend and might even want to become significant others or life partners with that friend.  

 

 

 

 

[200 Ponies]

I can't say exactly what you are/aren't, but I can tell you a little bit about how I arrived at the conclusion that I'm aromantic (despite numerous accounts of internal a-phobia and denial).

I used to ID as biromantic/bisexual because I felt the same level of attraction towards everyone (A.K.A. zero). So, I forced myself to go on dates with men and women. When I was out with a man, I'd be thinking to myself the entire date "Wait, am I gay? I really don't want to be here and I feel nothing for this guy." On a date with a woman, I'd think "Damn, I'm really straight and I've been lying to myself and everyone." Before making myself try dating, I strongly believed I wanted to date/cuddle/make out with men and women. Slowly, I realized I really hated dating, flirting, kissing, and cuddling when in the context of romance (I am sensually attracted to people of all genders, however). Then I realized aromanticism existed.

So, if you just can't figure out what you might be, try dating people and seeing from there. I had tons of fantasies about dating and getting married until I actually tried being in a relationship. That was the nail in the coffin for me identifying as anything but aromantic. For you, though, you might find out you really are into guys romantically.

 

If you have more questions, feel free to ask and I'll try to help you out.

[loomborn]

from what I've experienced and seen, if you need a more concrete definition of aromanticism, you are most probably romantic.