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will123

Masturbation, My Experience TMI!

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will123

This question is directed to older members that masturbate (for pleasure) or folks that have been pleasuring themselves for a LONG time. Younger folks need not respond as I have probably been masturbating longer than you’ve been alive.

 

A few days ago, I tried using one of my female ‘friends’ as the stimulation for my pleasure. I got aroused and had a full erection, but couldn’t achieve an orgasm. I just reached a block. I couldn’t feel any increasing ‘pressure’ like I normally do before I ejaculate.

 

Is it possible to become overstimulated(?) or desensitized to what you’re fantasizing about?

 

When I’m with ‘Donalda’, I treat her like an equal and don’t make her to do anything she doesn’t want to do. When we’re in the shower, soaping each other, she takes the lead and goes down on me. I don’t force her onto me or pull her hair.

 

The situation is the complete opposite when I’m ‘with a male partner’. Regardless of who the ‘top’ is, myself or my partner, the top doesn’t really care about the bottom’s feelings. All the top is concerned with is his own pleasure.

 

Is it possible I’ve become addicted to the sensation of rougher sex and the softer, sensual sex with a female doesn’t do it for me anymore?

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Maks9090

My current stuff is kinda similar, only that I am unable to have a non-descript partner so I might be using fictional characters, or sometimes real people, urgh, my mind says why? every time I do that. Be it male or female. Whenever I get aroused outside of my home I just live it down without a problem, when I'm home I can relieve myself. Haven't tried anal stuff yet, but that will probably happen in 2 years or so as I move out.

 

I also get immediately turned off as soon as I ejaculate. My mind goes "Okay, here's your feel-good hormones, now can we stop with the madness?" (as when I'm aroused I watch porn/images)

 

Oh, I also never think about it otherwise.

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Fox6
On 17/02/2017 at 10:07 PM, will123 said:

Well it dawned on me that when I was in my 30s and my masturbating seemed to be excessive (at least twice a day on a daily basis) I thought there was something wrong with me.

You are underestimating how much the average men masturbate.

 

On 17/02/2017 at 10:07 PM, will123 said:

It upset me that I was able to enjoy something that is more or frowned on by society.

Which is strange, considering it's something everyone does. Your parents masturbate. Your boss masturbate. The president masturbate.

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will123
34 minutes ago, Fox6 said:

You are underestimating how much the average men masturbate.

OK, how many times a day does the average male masturbate?

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Xenobot
will123
Tofer
On 1/15/2017 at 8:47 PM, will123 said:

A few years ago I was taking a commuter train into the city to go cycling. I was wearing a jersey and cycling tights. Riding along I could feel "stirring" down below. There was a person sitting across from me (my bike in between). I watched them until they were distracted. I looked down. Holy shit! It wasn't difficult to see what was going on. I just looked away, hoped my bike obscured the "view" and tried to think of something else. 

 

I'm thinking it may have had something to do with vibrations from the train car. I know there wasn't anything remotely arousing on the train.

 

On 1/15/2017 at 8:55 PM, Moophie said:

it's definitely looked down upon by... people. In general. Which makes me sad.

Not looked down on by everyone. 

 

will123, with some people, if what was going on with you caught their eye, they'd try to catch your eye to see if you'd respond...

 

Or they might catch what was going on with you on their phone to post on a bulge tumblr for the enjoyment of people who are into such things...

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will123
6 minutes ago, Tofer said:

Or they might catch what was going on with you on their phone to post on a bulge tumblr for the enjoyment of people who are into such things...

I didn't need to know that :wacko: 

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Tofer
On 1/15/2017 at 8:47 PM, will123 said:

I looked down. Holy shit! It wasn't difficult to see what was going on. I just looked away, hoped my bike obscured the "view" and tried to think of something else

Good move ... once you get to that point, if you look uncomfortable or do anything to try and hide it, you're just putting on more of a show for anyone who might be interested in it as a show...

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will123

Trying to 'adjust' myself in a public place, probably wouldn't go over too well with the other passengers.

 

@Tofer the cars are similar to the COASTER cars. I was sitting at the end seat facing the 'front' of the car.

 

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ4h2jgqK8HPGYplZQNmZI3GbJBHoroMJ6q8h2G4Q58O00YAc_HQw

 

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTlPmDHiIhkzqKWANal0Shd1eBi9Lx7v_ICCqDafboNIyfR0hcrqQ

 

 

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Moophie

@Tofer Yarp. I did say 'people'. Some people, myself included, are either accepting or try to be understanding.

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Tofer
1 minute ago, Moophie said:

@Tofer Yarp. I did say 'people'. Some people, myself included, are either accepting or try to be understanding.

Thank you, but likewise, I'm accepting and understanding of people who (unlike you) feel a bit uncomfortable under the same circumstances. All good.

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Moophie
6 minutes ago, Tofer said:

Thank you, but likewise, I'm accepting and understanding of people who (unlike you) feel a bit uncomfortable under the same circumstances. All good.

Of course it makes me feel uncomfortable. I was raised in the same overly ignorant and lacking education system as most other kids. But now that I know better, that erections are many times out of the control of the man experiencing them, I make an effort to try understand. I imagine it's about as embarrassing as a woman who's bled through her pants. Tell me that doesn't make other people equally uncomfortable.

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will123

@RhuinHruda

 

Quote

It was about the same for me. Mostly because I was raised in a very religious household and sex and self-gratification were simply not discussed. Certainly there was no education on the matter. I started researching the subject when I went off to college and just slowly gained experience. 

In my family, nudity wasn't an issue. My parents and younger brother would go from the bedroom to bathroom for shower and back in the nude without an issue. However sex was never discussed. I know I never had "the talk", my brother probably didn't either.



 

When I did start to masturbate it was basically just fondling my penis until I ejaculated. As the say "And the rest is history". It wasn't until later that I discovered a quicker method of 'getting off'.

 

As you can imagine it's not a topic you want to ask a friend about nor was there the internet at the time (early 80s). 

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will123

Reading some comments on this thread and others:

 

 

and a few thoughts came to mind. Asexuals are on both sides of the fence when it comes to masturbation and orgasms. Some people enjoy pleasuring themselves while other have tried it and it does nothing for them. Same goes for their feelings about orgasms. Some people say the feeling is the greatest thing since sliced bread while others compare it to blowing their nose.

 

As a result of these differing thoughts, people on either side can be puzzled or bewildered as to why the other people may feel that way. I guess the same could be said about how some sexuals feel about asexuals, "How can you not be attracted to a person sexually?"

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Philip027

Just like with literally everything else, opinions on it will vary.  What's really puzzling is how some people don't get this even though it's shown to be the case over and over again.

 

Chocolate?  Everyone likes chocolate, right?  No, some people really do not.  (And not just because they might be allergic, either.)

You might think that piece of music is the greatest thing in the world, but I guarantee you someone else out there just sees it as noise.

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will123
1 minute ago, Philip027 said:

Just like with literally everything else, opinions on it will vary.  What's really puzzling is how some people don't get this even though it's shown to be the case over and over again.

 

Chocolate?  Everyone likes chocolate, right?  No, some people really do not.

You might think that piece of music is the greatest thing in the world, but I guarantee you someone else out there just sees it as noise.

Great analogy!

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Pixley
On 1/16/2017 at 12:03 AM, chair jockey said:

An asexual having a libido is pretty standard. Not all asexuals have libidos, but many do. And when you're not sexually attracted to anyone, seeking out a sexual partner doesn't make much sense, so you shut your libido up by taking care of things yourself. I don't know how well this works for sex-repulsed people or people who have an aversion to their physical genitals, but for a cis non-repulsed ace with a libido it's pretty natural to keep things simple and wank when you need to.

 

Masturbation hobbyism (which sounds like what you're describing) is not as common, but asexuals with high libidos do exist, and some become masturbation hobbyists. Nothing wrong with that, either. And nothing wrong with autosexuality, which is when something akin to sexual attraction is related to masturbation rather than partnered sex.

 

I've masturbated intermittently, but a spike in my libido must coincide with me consenting to masturbate and it being convenient to masturbate at that time, and those three criteria don't align all that often. If I get a libido spike and choose not to masturbate, there are ways to make the libido ebb without masturbation, so I use them. Similarly if it's not convenient to masturbate when my libido spikes. There's never a time when I choose to masturbate and my libido has not started things by spiking.

 

My fantasy is usually about my fictitious, future, female reincarnation. Some time ago I thought up concurrent reincarnation, which occurs when your soul goes back in time after you die and has another birth around the time of your own birth. It's total bullshit because I don't believe in reincarnation, but fantasies are by definition bullshit anyway, and they do no harm. She is typically around my age, has some facial resemblance to me, and has enough memory of her previous life (mine) that she understands me on a deeper level than a different person ever could. With us being the same person, we also share various psychological peculiarities. It's one of the stranger sexual fantasies I've ever heard of, but it works, and I haven't gotten tired of it.

Dude. That totally sounds like my "opposite-sex counterpart from a parallel universe" fantasy.

 

In my case, they look like me if they were male, possess quite a few of my idiosyncrasies, etc. 

 

Glad it's not just me. 😅

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Pixley
On 3/27/2017 at 5:15 PM, Moophie said:

Of course it makes me feel uncomfortable. I was raised in the same overly ignorant and lacking education system as most other kids. But now that I know better, that erections are many times out of the control of the man experiencing them, I make an effort to try understand. I imagine it's about as embarrassing as a woman who's bled through her pants. Tell me that doesn't make other people equally uncomfortable.

As a female, yeah NAIL ON THE HEAD. Couldn't tell you how many times in my adolescence I was paranoid to go out in public when I was on my period.

 

Especially the first time I ever got one, and was still getting used to it. I was a volunteer at this FFA spaghetti dinner and the uniforms for the girls were SKIRTS. 

 

GOD. WHY. 😭 

 

But I do feel for you guys on the whole random erections deal. That has to suck. Really. I know if it were me it would definitely just kick my social anxiety into OVERDRIVE.

 

I'd just be like: "Ok, got random erection on bus ride to school this morning. Note to self: WALKING FROM NOW ON."

 

But that's just me. 🤣

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NotPhoebe

I've masturbated my entire life really. In my teens I began to watch lesbian pornography which is why for so long I thought I might have been sexually attracted to woman, even though I romantically would mostly find interest in men. This all confused me especially when I realized I didn't like intimate contact whatsoever after attempting dating and all that "good" stuff. I discovered that to this day I can still only watch lesbian pornography, even though I can at times fantasize about men, but very rarely. The older I get I notice the less I masturbate. I've never met a person that I was actually sexually attracted to, though I do have the ability to fantasize I have yet to come across a single person I'd actually want to have any sexual contact with whatsoever. I've met some people whom I did fantasize about but still I never actually wanted to have sex with them in real life.

 

Maybe it's complex, but that's just how it is for me, lol. 

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