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will123

Masturbation, My Experience TMI!

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will123

Another TMI alert.

 

Before you think that I can only masturbate to a fantasy, I do deal with it in what I'll call externally and internally. 

 

In the first situation, I basically watch myself manipulating my genitals with both hands and ejaculating (without any thoughts in my head). I'm really concentrating on the touching sensations and watching the "results". When I pleasure myself, my orgasm is more or less secondary to what I'm doing.

 

With the "internal" scenario, it's almost as if my goal is a complete reversal. I become very "internal" and try to block out all stimuli (physical and mental). It's almost as if I'm trying not to feel myself masturbating. I guess you could say that I "detach" from what is going on down there. My only goal is to focus on the feelings and changes "Inside" of me, before, during and after my orgasm. These sessions are very intense and at times I have felt like going back to bed (in the morning) as I do feel quite tired/drained afterwards.

 

These sessions are regularly interspersed with my pleasuring while fantasizing.

 

Another comment on my fantasy scenarios. To me it seems odd that I enjoy masturbating to a fantasy(s) of having sex with a partner when in reality, I have no interest in "doing it" with a real partner. 

 

If I was to write out those fantasies, my elementary school teachers would be both abhorred and pleased. I can image the imagery would be disturbing to them, but I think they would be glad to get something from me to mark. When I was in school I had a very difficult time in English Composition. I really couldn't come up with ANYTHING to write about.

 

I hope I haven't bored you with my thoughts, but maybe it'll show folks what I've gone thru in my life. Heck, possibly someone else can relate too. That would be a bonus to my rambling.

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will123
20 hours ago, orange socks said:

An asexual having a libido is pretty standard. Not all asexuals have libidos, but many do. And when you're not sexually attracted to anyone, seeking out a sexual partner doesn't make much sense, so you shut your libido up by taking care of things yourself. I don't know how well this works for sex-repulsed people or people who have an aversion to their physical genitals, but for a cis non-repulsed ace with a libido it's pretty natural to keep things simple and wank when you need to.

 

Masturbation hobbyism (which sounds like what you're describing) is not as common, but asexuals with high libidos do exist, and some become masturbation hobbyists. Nothing wrong with that, either. And nothing wrong with autosexuality, which is when something akin to sexual attraction is related to masturbation rather than partnered sex.

 

 

 

 

I had to look up those "big words" but still need some help. All I could think of was autoerotic asphyxia, Which I have absolutely no interest in. Seeing as I've mentioned stimulating myself anally, some would ask, "Why hasn't he tried that?'

 

"I am and have been in a relationship with myself for a few years now, and it's the only fulfilling relationship I've ever had."

 

"The term autosexual is also used to mean those who prefer masturbation over partnered sex. I'd say this is a far more common usage than the meaning of one who experiences self-attraction, although both seem to be out there, which is unhelpful. Using this meaning of austosexual, it would accurately describe the behaviour of an asexual with a sex drive that they prefer to deal with through masturbation."

 

"In this context "autosexual" describes sexual behavior, whereas "asexual" describes sexual orientation. Big difference."

 

"If you're using "autosexual" to describe behavior, it is still incorrect to describe an asexual who masturbates as autosexual. You could describe their behavior as autosexual or autoerotic, but I don't think that it would make sense to describe the person as autosexual. Orientation is defined by attraction, not behavior. If you want to call an asexual who masturbates autosexual, then an asexual who has sex should be called sexual. It means a man or woman who masturbates, but is otherwise asexual. Most of us would therefore be considered autosexuals, but few would be considered true asexuals. I myself am autosexual, even though I'm a 37-yo male virgin with no desire to have sex."

 

"Asexuals can masturbate, my very sexual friend says that he is also autosexual. He defines it as someone who is into everything, including themselves."

 

"I personally dont like the term autosexual because to me it implies sexual attraction to ones self.... im certainly not attracted to me."

 

"Autosexuality just means that you find yourself attractive. I'm sure there are some auto's on AVEN, but they still identify as asexual."

 

"I'm autosexual in that I masturbate, but I sure as hell aren't attracted to myself. I would never want to look in a mirror while masturbating"

 

"I wanted to say how happy I am that I found this particular thread. I was a little worried about me probably being autosexual, because I do masturbate. But after reading the responses I can truly say that I'm definitely not autosexual, because I'm not attracted to myself. I'm asexual - I guess I just like to masturbate. For whichever reason this may be. But ... it's really a relief to read this here. Probably sounds weird, but I was really worried about it, because the term "autosexual" sounds pretty negative to me."

 

"But yeah. I don't think that an asexual who masturbates is necessarily autosexual. Masturbation, expecially among asexuals, is usually just a vent. A way to take care of the sex drive for a little while. A bit like going to the toilet. Being Autosexual is being sexually attacted to yourself. I'm with parth. I certainly wouldn't look in the mirror whilest pleasuring myself. The definition of autosexuality is being sexually attracted to your own body, and that is not nessecary for masturbation, as proved by the high number of people who masturbate even though they are not sexually attracted to their own gender."

 

"Now, apply that to asexuals. If an asexual says they are not sexually attracted to their own body, it would be prudent to believe them, since autosexuality is not the norm. So an asexual, in exactly the same way as a heterosexual or any other orientation, can masturbate without feeling sexually attracted to their own body. In short, they are indulging in what could be called autosexual behaviour, but are not autosexual, in the same way that the majority of other people who masturbate are not autosexual."

 

Sorry about the abundance of quotes, but surfing thru AVEN there seems to be a lot of varying views of the definition of autosexual. At one end of the spectrum it would appear to be a negative slant to it as in the person (sexual and asexual) can only masturbate or become aroused when thinking of themselves. I'm not sure but I don't think this applies to me. If someone can point out something that I've posted that would contradict this, please quote it. The definition of autosexual that doesn't seem to have as negative connotation is that it means someone that masturbates (sometimes saying the person doesn't like partnered sex). Doesn't that kind of link it to asexuality?

 

Full disclosure, I have at times masturbated in front of a mirror. I don't think I've done it that way because I'm sexually attracted with myself. I'd have to say it was to look at things from a "different" angle. I think for anyone that enjoys masturbating, looking down at the activity gets boring after a while.

 

If I had to "label" myself, which isn't likely, I'd be either an autosexual asexual or an asexual autosexual. Yes, I masturbate and enjoy it (does that where the hobbyist comment comes from?) and have no sexual attraction to a male or female.

 

Orange Socks, if you can throw in your two cents in condensing my ramblings it would be appreciated.

 

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will123

With the discussion elsewhere about how autosexual and asexual are interelated with some Aces, I thought I’d expand on my thoughts.

 

Content and language warning

 

There are a lot of varying thoughts on the definition of autosexual. Self arousal, attraction, autoeroticism, love and pleasuring have been discussed. I’m going to try to verbalize my feelings in this area.

 

Just looking at my own body I don’t feel any sense of attraction. I could look at my naked body for hours and not be aroused. However, two or three times a year I may masturbate in front of a mirror. In my opinion I’m not watching myself jerking off, but by focusing from the chest down, it’s someone else in front of me masturbating. While the other person is jerking off, I “disconnect” from the actual stimulation. I’m just standing there watching.

 

As the other person’s pace increases, so does my state of mental arousal until I have my orgasm. As an aside I have no interest in watching another male doing it in person or on video.

 

In some ways the whole thing seems fucked up but it is very enjoyable when I do it. I don’t feel any shame doing it this way or the previously mentioned acts of pleasuring myself. It’s almost as if I go to great lengths (sometimes) to remove myself from the physical act of jerking off. I guess you could say that I’m “projecting” masturbation onto someone else.

 

Does anyone, male or female, do something like this? We’ve read of people that really enjoy the act (myself included) to other that abhor it even though they occasionally do it. I just wonder if a person that feels the need to do it but doesn't enjoy it tries the same thing.

 

Up to now I've never thought much about jerking off, it's just an activity that I enjoy. Is that where the hobbyism comment arises? I'm not sure that the use of the word is the same as if talking about a stamp collector or RC plane modeller.

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AVEN #1 fan

There' a difference BTW masturbating bc your sexual attraction is towards yourself and bc you only have libido.

 

 

Now when it comes to aces, they don't feel horny aka sexual attraction towards nobody, not even themselves, and off course some aces are sex positive (pothisexual) and have libidos, so they happen to masturbate

Autosexual people feel horny aka sexual attraction for themselves, and that being said, doesn't necessarily mean they like to masturbate or masturbate at all.

 

People should understand that sexual stimulus works like this:

1 - sexual Attraction/other stimulus happens > 2 - desire to stimulate given feelings somehow appears > 3 - act is performed (for reasons) > 4 - enjoyment happens

 

-Not everybody follow up these steps every time, (that's why people like aces exist) and not everybody manage to follow all steps precisely, sometimes they can't.

cupiosexuals skip the first step, while other aces will always skip the 2 first steps (if they're having sexual contact).

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_V_
On 1/15/2017 at 11:11 PM, will123 said:

When I read of people that have tried to masturbate and felt nothing, I have a difficult time understanding this.

Being circumcised can really ruin the experience. You lose plenty of nerves that deal with pleasure, so the experience becomes more dull. Also, doing it too much can build up a temporary "tolerance" to the sensation, I guess, so it just becomes more and more "meh" as you do it repeatedly.

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will123
12 minutes ago, _V_ said:

Being circumcised can really ruin the experience. You lose plenty of nerves that deal with pleasure, so the experience becomes more dull. Also, doing it too much can build up a temporary "tolerance" to the sensation, I guess, so it just becomes more and more "meh" as you do it repeatedly.

I must be an aberration then ;) I'm 'cut" and my masturbating has been a constant activity. I haven't lost any interest in it. My "switching things up" may have helped prevent becoming bored with the act, which is pretty repetitive (no pun intended).

 

It could be though that if a person isn't all that into it in the first place, they may react that way if it becomes boring.

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_V_
7 minutes ago, will123 said:

I must be an aberration then ;) I'm 'cut" and my masturbating has been a constant activity. I haven't lost any interest in it. My "switching things up" may have helped prevent becoming bored with the act, which is pretty repetitive (no pun intended).

 

It could be though that if a person that isn't all that into it in the first place, may react that way if it becomes boring.

You know, I've always attributed my genital mutilation to my reduced (or nonexistent) desire for masturbation, sex, and personal pleasure, but maybe it's unrelated.

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will123

Hard to say in that situation (more research is required) ;)

 

Mind you over the years we've all read studies, surveys and polls concerning sex with circumcised males.

 

You get varying results from male and female respondents whether they prefer their partner to be cut or uncut. I'm sure related info can be found on the 'net. Then they'll throw in the question asking if they prefer said partner to wear a condom or not. I think in the case of the second question, a higher percentage prefer their partner not wear a condom because it dulls the sensation (or it could be the penetrating partner saying this). It's been a while since I've read anything about this.  Since it didn't really pertain to me I just glanced over the findings/article.

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AVEN #1 fan
32 minutes ago, _V_ said:

Being circumcised can really ruin the experience. You lose plenty of nerves that deal with pleasure, so the experience becomes more dull. Also, doing it too much can build up a temporary "tolerance" to the sensation, I guess, so it just becomes more and more "meh" as you do it repeatedly.

Being circumcised or having mutilated female genitalia will most likely ruin your sexual contact.

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will123

_V_ could you check this out:

 

 

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will123
On 1/15/2017 at 11:24 PM, argar said:

I might go into detail later, but I just wanted you to know that someone read this and totally doesn't judge.

 

I don't orgasm, so my experience is slightly different. Lol

Do you masturbate but not to the point of ejaculating?

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argar

Oh no I function like any other male I guess.

 

The equipment works and everything.

 

I just don't get the feeling of an orgasm.

 

I have had two in my life for two very specific unplanned instances.

 

So I do know the difference.

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will123
1 hour ago, argar said:

Oh no I function like any other male I guess.

 

The equipment works and everything.

 

I just don't get the feeling of an orgasm.

 

I have had two in my life for two very specific unplanned instances.

 

So I do know the difference.

Argar, do you mind if I ask a couple of questions and comment about your situation?

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argar

I don't really think of it as a situation, but sure I don't mind.

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will123
3 minutes ago, argar said:

I don't really think of it as a situation, but sure I don't mind.

OK, thats great. Give me a couple of hours and I'll have a post of various things. Just remember, that even though I may enjoy masturbating, I'm definitely no expert on the subject. Take what I post with a grain of salt.

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will123
1 hour ago, argar said:

I don't really think of it as a situation, but sure I don't mind.

Have you read my thread about fantasies? If not could you? It'll help you understand my narrative.

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will123

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will123

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will123
17 hours ago, argar said:

The equipment works and everything.

 

I just don't get the feeling of an orgasm.

 

I have had two in my life for two very specific unplanned instances.

Occasionally when I'm masturbating I can't climax either. I'm fully erect, stimulating myself and feel like a jet taking off. The 'jet' is climbing and climbing and is getting closer and closer to leveling out (orgasm). However I never get to the tipping point.

 

Not sure if there are factors causing this like over-stimulation, being pre-occupied or what. A couple of days later when I try to pleasure myself, I'll have no problem climaxing.

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will123
On 1/15/2017 at 11:30 PM, Moophie said:

Interestingly, erections are an unconscious thing. They're controlled by the parasympathetic part of the autonomic nervous system, which is also responsible for things like breathing, heartbeat and digestion. Of course you can do things to consciously cause an erection, but for the most part you have little control over them.

If getting an erection/arousal is uncontrollable, I must be "dead" down there as I don't ever recall getting aroused at the nude beach. Mind you that is a major faux pas at a clothing optional beach.

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argar

I have gotten erections without arousal a lot when I was younger.

 

Not so much of that now that I am older.

 

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Moophie
2 hours ago, will123 said:

If getting an erection/arousal is uncontrollable, I must be "dead" down there as I don't ever recall getting aroused at the nude beach. Mind you that is a major faux pas at a clothing optional beach.

Yeesh... I'm guessing people who run the beach don't know. Seems kinda unfair. An unconscious erection may have nothing to do with arousal.

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will123
3 hours ago, Moophie said:

Yeesh... I'm guessing people who run the beach don't know. Seems kinda unfair. An unconscious erection may have nothing to do with arousal.

I think it's kind of a deterrent towards people that might just be there for prurient reasons. Before I went to the beach in Toronto I did a bit of research. Arousal was one of the FAQs. The answer was just try not to wander around while it's noticeable. Not that I'm checking out male visitors, I haven't noticed any guys that are sporting "wood". 

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Xenobot

Will, as per your recommendation, I found and read this thread. I can definitely appreciate such frank conversations about this sort of thing.

 

I sort of have two very distinct modes when it comes to sexual thoughts.

 

Mode 1. I fantasize about two fictional male characters (typically of my own creation). No masturbation is involved but I reach what I think of as a mental sexual climax nonetheless. There's a strong emphasis on the established emotional bond with the characters, and romance/sensuality are extremely important. These fantasies build upon each other over time, and I may particularly like to "replay" certain scenes in their story, so to speak.

 

Mode 2. I have an itch to scratch, therefore masturbation is in order. I prefer amateur porn because the faces are often hidden or cropped out for anonymity. If I use my imagination, the faces are indistinct/unrealized. I may watch male/male, male solo, or male/female porn (the last one has to stay on mute and can't focus disproportionately on the woman). I imagine myself with one of the identity-less male figures, but there's no foreplay or imagined emotional connection. It's really mechanical, I suppose. It's all about the sex act and the guy has to stay as objectified/anonymous as possible because if he feels like a real person I lose interest. It sounds kind of awful when I put it like that, but that's the truth. Porn or masturbatory fantasies just act as a visual sex toy. It's not about sexual attraction to a person. I've happily watched porn with what I guess most people would consider really sexually unattractive men and it makes zero difference to me.

 

Edit: Oh, and I do watch porn of fictional characters, like computer generated stuff that use character models from video games or whatever.

 

I've never masturbated to a real/known person before. I've always found it super strange when people talk about wanting to have sex with models or celebrities and stuff. In the rare instances I have developed feelings for someone, my fantasies are almost strictly romantic. Sexual fantasies about them tend to be very fleeting, or like exploratory thought experiments. There's never been any real intent behind them.

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will123
22 hours ago, Xenobot said:

Will, as per your recommendation, I found and read this thread. I can definitely appreciate such frank conversations about this sort of thing.

 

I sort of have two very distinct modes when it comes to sexual thoughts.

 

Mode 1. I fantasize about two fictional male characters (typically of my own creation). No masturbation is involved but I reach what I think of as a mental sexual climax nonetheless. There's a strong emphasis on the established emotional bond with the characters, and romance/sensuality are extremely important. These fantasies build upon each other over time, and I may particularly like to "replay" certain scenes in their story, so to speak.

 

Mode 2. I have an itch to scratch, therefore masturbation is in order. I prefer amateur porn because the faces are often hidden or cropped out for anonymity. If I use my imagination, the faces are indistinct/unrealized. I may watch male/male, male solo, or male/female porn (the last one has to stay on mute and can't focus disproportionately on the woman). I imagine myself with one of the identity-less male figures, but there's no foreplay or imagined emotional connection. It's really mechanical, I suppose. It's all about the sex act and the guy has to stay as objectified/anonymous as possible because if he feels like a real person I lose interest. It sounds kind of awful when I put it like that, but that's the truth. Porn or masturbatory fantasies just act as a visual sex toy. It's not about sexual attraction to a person. I've happily watched porn with what I guess most people would consider really sexually unattractive men and it makes zero difference to me.

 

Edit: Oh, and I do watch porn of fictional characters, like computer generated stuff that use character models from video games or whatever.

 

I've never masturbated to a real/known person before. I've always found it super strange when people talk about wanting to have sex with models or celebrities and stuff. In the rare instances I have developed feelings for someone, my fantasies are almost strictly romantic. Sexual fantasies about them tend to be very fleeting, or like exploratory thought experiments. There's never been any real intent behind them.

Well put!

 

A couple of comments to your reply.

 

With me there is no interest in romance or sensuality at any time. I'm basically fantasizing about the actual sex between myself and my partner. I guess I could say the same thing about the anonymous partners. They could be a store mannequin come to life for all I care. 

 

Other than the two females discussed in the link posted below, I've never felt any interest in thinking about a real person while pleasuring myself.

 

 

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Xenobot
49 minutes ago, will123 said:

Well put!

 

A couple of comments to your reply.

 

With me there is no interest in romance or sensuality at any time. I'm basically fantasizing about the actual sex between myself and my partner. I guess I could say the same thing about the anonymous partners. They could be a store mannequin come to life for all I care. 

 

Other than the two females discussed in the link posted below, I've never felt any interest in thinking about a real person while pleasuring myself.

 

 

It's funny that you mention mannequins in particular, because when I was writing about my masturbatory fantasies I almost used essentially the same phrase. They might as well be mannequins come to life, like golems for the modern world or automatons.

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will123
2 minutes ago, Xenobot said:

It's funny that you mention mannequins in particular, because when I was writing about my masturbatory fantasies I almost used essentially the same phrase. They might as well be mannequins come to life, like golems for the modern world or automatons.

I was almost going to use the word automaton in my reply! If you were to ask me 5 times about my various "partners", I'd just draw a blank as I don't put a lot of thought into the other person.

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Xenobot
7 minutes ago, will123 said:

I was almost going to use the word automaton in my reply! If you were to ask me 5 times about my various "partners", I'd just draw a blank as I don't put a lot of thought into the other person.

I wonder if fantasizing about a somewhat featureless "automaton" is particularly common for the average sexual person, or if they generally imagine a known person or at least a more visually realized imaginary one. I've generally gotten the sense that they fantasize about people (real or imagined) that they find sexually attractive/aesthetically pleasing, but fantasizing about non-descript people could be common too for all I know.

 

I've heard guys, on more than one occasion, reference specific/favorite porn actresses, so presumably they're fantasizing about being with them specifically instead of just using them as sort of a convenient visual template of sorts? Otherwise, why would they take note of their identity?

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Fox6
On 16/01/2017 at 2:11 AM, will123 said:

non-descript female (other than their mouth, breasts or genitalia, I really can't describe her)

CtzeBZ8.png

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will123

I really appreciate the comments gang. It’s good to know that there are others that enjoy pleasuring themselves. Thinking about this today a thought came to mind. Reading some of the posts where folks have said they felt broken before the learned about asexuality, I didn’t really understand that feeling. Well it dawned on me that when I was in my 30s and my masturbating seemed to be excessive (at least twice a day on a daily basis) I thought there was something wrong with me.

It upset me that I was able to enjoy something that is more or frowned on by society. I didn’t let this bother me, clinically but it was kind of in the back of my mind.

Not sure if I had tried to stop completely rather than reducing the frequency if problems would have arisen. Are there any other folks that have felt the need to reduce their “activity” (successfully or not?).

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