Am I strictly asexual or?

[Monochrome_Ren]

Hi there! My name is Ren and I'm kind of confused. 

I identity as an asexual as I dislike sexual intimacy of all kinds (I rarely like romanic intimacy such as cuddling and kissing as it makes me nervous they will want more), sex makes me feel degraded like when sex is involved people just see me as a meat bag for sexual gratification rather than a human being but with that said, I enjoy sex in a artistic was such in books, manga and even put sexual content in my creations. I also fantasize about sex and such but don't feel the need to have sex or even mastabate, in fact I dislike thinking actually having to do it.

 

I feel attraction towards ALL genders and have been in love before. I like the companionship and closeness of a relationship but I always feel pressured into having sex to which I end up giving in and its hell every time. The people I have dated since realizing I was asexual always seemed to get angry when I avoided sex and tried to explain things to them. For the moment I have given up on trying to be in a relationship.

 

But if I feel sexual attraction and find the act of sex entertaining in a fictional sense does that still make me strictly asexual? I'm just looking for opinions...

[nanogretchen4]

In my opinion you sound fully asexual because you appear to have no desire to have partnered sex with anyone ever. No one can agree on what sexual attraction is, and AVEN uses a desire based definition of sexual attraction anyway. So really AVEN uses a desire based definition of asexuality, but in a confusing round about way. 

[Star Bit]

Looks like you just need to date asexuals. There are asexual dating sites, asexual meetups scheduled on and off of AVEN, and a minority of sexual people are ok with a sexless relationship.

 

Also, since you dont mention it and just have asexual in your orientation portion, gender not being a factor romantically is called Panromantic (which can be used by itself to imply asexuality). Ace is also short for asexual; if you feel Panromantic Ace is preferable.

[Monochrome_Ren]

@nanogretchen4 that does sound mildly confusing but I think I understand. Thank you.

 

@Star Bit Really? I didn't know there was sites like that, I will have to do more research. Panromantic ace huh? Doesn't sound too bad. I have to say I did read the Wikipedia page this site lead me to about the meaning of panromantic and considered it. Thank you for your advice. (I like your profile picture btw.)

[probablypandas]

I'd say you can absolutely be asexual. I think of asexuality as how you feel toward real people, not fictional ones. And plenty of aces fantasize. 

[Adele00]

I feel the exact same way! I identify as a panromantic asexual because I have fallen in love with female, male, genderfluid and non binary people so I definitely feel romantic attraction for people of all genders. I just want to cuddle and sleep with the people I love and stay with them even in a romantic way but just not have sex with them. I used to identify as pansexual until I was introduced to the term "ace" and I started feeling like that is what felt more like myself. So yes you can definately find yourself interested in other people and even want to have relationships and still be ace. Just eat some cake with those people and everything will be nice.