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Asexual because of gender dysphoria


CentaurianPrincess

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CentaurianPrincess

Does anyone believe that you may be asexual because of your discomfort with your body/genitals? Sometimes I wonder if I was happy with the body I was born in or was born in the body I want if I would be more interested in sex. I have tried to enjoy sex and have had various partners (in relationships, casual sex) and that's how I made sure I'm asexual. I can't help but wonder if its due to my body dysphoria.

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It's entirely possible, but of course no one here can really answer that question for you.

 

Sex can be an incredibly sensitive and fragile thing. And our state of mind can definitely affect the way it feels, how much we enjoy it, reaching a climax, etc. Feeling uncomfortable, unconfident, depressed, anxious, tired, overwhelmed, and all of the things, play a huge role in enjoying/not enjoying sex.

 

Not having experienced dysphoria I'm not sure how it would make me feel before/during/after a sexual encounter. I just know I don't enjoy it as an activity I find boring, unnecessary and generally not pleasing.

 

However, I did come across a suggestion that sounded pretty helpful on YouTube: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RK8fv7i6v5A

 

I really like Dr. Doe, she is incredibly informative and one of the most open-minded sex therapists... probably on Earth. 

 

(PS: I'm not trying to assume that you want to have sex, just thought it might help.)

 

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Yes. I've been asexual and repulsed for as long as I can remember. I've also been uncomfortable with having female "hardware" for as long as I can remember. Oftentimes, I wish this hardware could be erased entirely, or even replaced with male hardware. If the latter case were to happen, I don't believe I would be as averse to sex. However, I don't know if my dysphoria is a causation or simply a correlation, because the dysphoria isn't extreme or highly bothersome unless I focus on it, and because there are cis asexuals that don't experience any dysphoria.

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Pretty sure I was, to some extent.

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Well, sometimes I think I can't think about having sex bc my genitals remind me of how dysphoric I am.

 

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Honestly, I don't think my asexuality is related to dysphoria. There's such a strong expectation for sexuality to shift while on HRT, so I've been waiting and waiting, and well, I'm still pretty damn ace. My gut tells me I would have still been ace if I were cis.

 

For some reason, it took 8.5 months of testosterone injections for me to start experiencing arousal at all, but even with that awakening, I haven't been experiencing attraction or desiring sex. I'm still curious to see if that will change, but there's little reason for me to expect it.

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4 hours ago, Nebulous said:

Yes. I've been asexual and repulsed for as long as I can remember. I've also been uncomfortable with having female "hardware" for as long as I can remember. Oftentimes, I wish this hardware could be erased entirely, or even replaced with male hardware. 

I relate to this a lot. I'd rather not have any "hardware" (and not replaced). I don't think it would make the concept of sexual intercourse any more appealing; I would just feel a little less wrong.

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I'm not asexual, but I thought I was for a while, and it was primarily down to dysphoria. If I was a cis guy I'm pretty confident I never would've thought I was ace.

 

Wasn't there some recent survey (not sure how reliable, but whatever) which showed a lot more trans people are ace? I don't think it's all that uncommon to be ace (or think you are) because of dysphoria. I know many trans people who thought they were ace, but as they transitioned (not just medically, socially and realising they're trans) no longer felt that way.

Not saying you're not asexual, and one day will suddenly stop being asexual, but I think for a lot of trans people it can be difficult to imagine ourselves having sex, in sexual situations etc.

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Calligraphette_Coe

I think everybody is a little different and for some of us, it's not a 'just this' or 'just that' deal. For me, I knew I was always asexual, but the dysphoria, emotional pain of past experiences and having been sexually assaulted set my sex repulsed asexuality in emotional concrete. It would take a lot of psychic surgery to overcome it, and I can't imagine even trying.

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I've realized at this point that my gender issues are likely the root cause.. I have no interest in people who are interested in me because I'm female. If someone is attracted to me because of who I am, not what I am, I can be interested if we click.

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On 1/15/2017 at 8:10 AM, Simowl said:

I'm not asexual, but I thought I was for a while, and it was primarily down to dysphoria. If I was a cis guy I'm pretty confident I never would've thought I was ace.

Same here. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

To me it makes more sense that you'd be sex-repulsed due to dysphoria. If you don't like reminders that your genitalia look a certain way, then the thought of using them would probably be upsetting. Especially if you're trying to pay attention to how they feel.

Sexual attraction seems it's less malleable than sex-repulsion, though. For example, experiencing sexual violence can make someone sex-repulsed, but it doesn't seem to have any impact on sexual attraction. (There are a lot of sex-repulsed allosexual abuse survivors.) So I'm guessing that dysphoria, also, would affect repulsion more than attraction.

However, there's also the question of hormones and how you respond to them. Hormonal transition is often described as a 'second puberty', and just like the first puberty, it could impact on your sexual attraction.  

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