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People don't seem obsessed with sex


tgif

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I always feel like when I'm reading about asexuality people are always saying how sex-crazed the world is and how much sexual people think about sex. But is that actually true? I mean, I could just be oblivious, but I'm in high school and it doesn't seem like people really think about sex, let alone have it. Stuff like that makes me question my asexuality because it seems like hardly anyone experiences sexual attraction. I don't know though.

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
7 minutes ago, tgif said:

I always feel like when I'm reading about asexuality people are always saying how sex-crazed the world is and how much sexual people think about sex. But is that actually true? I mean, I could just be oblivious, but I'm in high school and it doesn't seem like people really think about sex, let alone have it. Stuff like that makes me question my asexuality because it seems like hardly anyone experiences sexual attraction. I don't know though.

Every ace has a individual view of our society. Some see the world as sex crazed,others do not.

You are in highschool and No one thinks about sex?! Wow...aren't you lucky...seriously. When I was in highschool all that folks talked about was sex. I guess it just depends on where you grew up at,too.

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I don't know. Maybe it's regional. All anyone at my High School acted like they cared about or were interested in or wanted to talk about was sex and the conversations were, like, nonstop and pretty graphic.

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I know in my high school experience guys would talk about girls, and sex, almost exclusively all the time.

 

I went to college and didn't really think about it too much because I was focused on my new environment, classes, and work.

 

One conversation with a lady friend I had and I realized that people where having sex like crazy all over the place, but since I didn't expose myself to it I was blind to it.

 

I think sometimes its true in some environments and false in others.

 

I went to a bar with a friend once and it was very apparent that sex was on the mind of many of the patrons.

 

But I got to the park for my usually activity, and it really isn't something that is brought up to often.

 

I also think that sometimes certain individuals bring out the worse in others some times.

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Are you anywhere in east asian,south asian or south east asian countries ??? Kids there are just studying their as*** off so they don't have as much time to think about sex and related matters.Also it's culturally very taboo so they are probably not exposed to it....

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The guys in my maths class just sit and watch porn all the way through lesson. The people in my chemistry talk about having sex most lessons. So I'm pretty exposed to the sex-crazed aspect of society. But I know not everyone who is sexual is like this. 

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It may also depend on the school. I was in one of the top secondary schools in the city and people there seemed to be very academically driven. We also had three different studying tracks - a general one, a half-German one and an almost completely German one, to simplify matters - and there was a lot of competition, rivalry or even just curiosity between the tracks. People were talking mostly about the language exams, the differences in the education/diploma the different tracks got and applying for university abroad. A lot of people were really too busy studying in the later years of school to think much about sex.

 

On the other hand, I may have been ignoring a lot of sexual behaviour and conversation, automatically filtering it as irrelevant. ;)

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NerotheReaper

As a college student, campuses are reeking of hormones and alcohol (not literally), assaults and harassment happens all the time on my campus. Of course this is a different problem than people just being horny. It is the lack of consent involved in the act. Kids are away from home for the first time, mom isn't breathing down their neck they can do whatever they want basically. That is my college campus though. 

 

Kind of surprised you say there is no sex talk at your school, well maybe if you're going to a Catholic school where anything close to sex is frowned upon. At my first high school there was always four (at least) all pregnant at once. Sexual assault happened at that school, drugs went on there. At my second high school (which was a catholic school), there was not a lot of sex talk in the halls. I knew kids were still having sex just they weren't so public about it. 

 

Plus it only takes one look at the music industry or movies, most of the popular songs are sexual or have a sexual undertone to it. Sex sells. 

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
1 minute ago, Acciuga said:

The guys in my maths class just sit and watch porn all the way through lesson. The people in my chemistry talk about having sex most lessons. So I'm pretty exposed to the sex-crazed aspect of society. But I know not everyone who is sexual is like this. 

Ugh, that is what the dudes used to do when I was in highschool... Even in college and I'm like "How the fuck does the teacher NOT HEAR THIS?!"

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1 minute ago, Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet said:

Ugh, that is what the dudes used to do when I was in highschool... Even in college and I'm like "How the fuck does the teacher NOT HEAR THIS?!"

They are wearing earphones here (sensible). But I know the teachers have definitely heard the conversations about sex because they always roll their eyes. 

This behaviour was worse in high school. Geez... I don't even want to talk about high school. 

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
Just now, Acciuga said:

They are wearing earphones here (sensible). But I know the teachers have definitely heard the conversations about sex because they always roll their eyes. 

This behaviour was worse in high school. Geez... I don't even want to talk about high school. 

The dudes in my college class Were NOT wearing headphones!!!!!!! And I am like "WTF is up with this teacher?!" I just ignored the dudes, but I was more baffled by the teacher not hearing the shit.

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Just now, Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet said:

The dudes in my college class Were NOT wearing headphones!!!!!!! And I am like "WTF is up with this teacher?!" I just ignored the dudes, but I was more baffled by the teacher not hearing the shit.

Maybe they learnt to filter it out :lol:

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
1 minute ago, Acciuga said:

Maybe they learnt to filter it out :lol:

Bwahahahahahahhahahahaha! :lol:

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Well it seems like its impossible to ignore...its everywhere...in the adverts selling anything from cars to yoghurt; to the music video industry; to the political and celebrity scandals that fill our newsfeeds; to the guys on the bus or in the cafe sitting at the table next to mine talking about last nights hot date; to the friends who talk about their best lays...the hyper sexualization of society seems inescapable. Its a bit wearisome as far as I can tell.

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I've heard human males say very vulgar things, as well as casual transphobia, while I was just a table away from them.

 

In regard to transphobia I've experienced worse things like humans threatening to grab my genitallia to check my gender.

 

I've seen proof that there are a large amount of humans who are disgusting in this human world.

 

My reclusiveness makes me avoid exposure to things a lot, which I suppose is a positive side.

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14 minutes ago, Mystic Maya said:

In regard to transphobia I've experienced worse things like humans threatening to grab my genitallia to check my gender.

?!!!

This really is a thing people say?! To your face?!

Ugh, what's wrong with humanity?...

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arekathevampyre

hey maya , that must be really annoying and scary for you . Agree with miau , the world is becoming sicker (in a bad way) by the day :(

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Anthracite_Impreza

Most people over the age of 20 aren't obsessed with sex, they have other things to worry about by that point. As with everything else the media exaggerates because that's how it gets noticed.

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I've never really been around very sexual people either. Not in high school, not now. Sex just... never comes up. It's considered vulgar and/or overly personal. It'd be like talking about your bowel movements. You might talk about it if something is really out of the ordinary but not with just anyone because that'd be weird.

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
34 minutes ago, miau said:

?!!!

This really is a thing people say?! To your face?!

Ugh, what's wrong with humanity?...

The real question is: what's right with humanity?

@Mystic Maya Sorry you had to go through that.

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7 hours ago, NerotheReaper said:

Kids are away from home for the first time, mom isn't breathing down their neck they can do whatever they want basically. That is my college campus though. 

 

Yeah, I remember some new freshmen really going off the deep end when they got to school (more with alcohol/drugs).  It seemed to me like kids who had really strict parents had a lot more trouble dealing with the sudden change of total freedom than ones who'd been allowed more freedom previously.  Makes sense. 

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I'm more shocked by teachers letting students have their headphones in during lessons. WTF? 

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Not quite on topic,  but a reply to Telecaster68. 

 

If you are a teacher,  and you have troublesome pupils,  just letting them sit quietly listening to music, whilst you get on with delivering the lesson to interested students can seem a price worth paying 

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I can see why it seems like an attractive option, especially if they're disruptive, but you're (a) not teaching them and (b) not fulfilling loco parentis because they're minors. You're not doing your job, in other words. 

 

I'm speaking as a teacher albeit in a university. 

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14 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

I can see why it seems like an attractive option, especially if they're disruptive, but you're (a) not teaching them and (b) not fulfilling loco parentis because they're minors. You're not doing your job, in other words. 

 

I'm speaking as a teacher albeit in a university. 

Sorry for continuing the derailment!  I think there is a big difference according to the age group. I work as a teacher in primary school. It migth be true about university, where they have to take a certain amount of responsibility for their own learning by focusing. I understand Skycaptain, if he is talking about creating most learning and not most teaching. The pupil could be more able to learn something, receive instruction if he is calm and focused. Music could help with removing frustration.And there is usually a lot of interaction between teacher/pupil during instruction and some need a very personal instruction later, and sometimes they work individually on ipads/computers and there is the "flipped classroom". 

 

I wonder if putting on headphones on my wife, would make her more able to be calm and focused on my sexual needs? 🤔

 

 

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Well yes it could in that situation. But these kids are watching porn in class, which is wrong on many many levels, not least that the teacher isn't in control of the learning environment. 

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5 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:

I'm more shocked by teachers letting students have their headphones in during lessons. WTF? 

Once you've left high school, it seems teachers don't care as much. At least, that's from my own experience. I dunno about colleges/universities in the rest of the UK. 

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Because you're an adult. You're old enough to choose whether you want to pay attention or not, and face the consequences. 

 

ETA: Having said that, I'd ask the student to either take them out or leave, if necessary by writing ithe request on a bit of paper and sticking it under their nose. 

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19 hours ago, tgif said:

I always feel like when I'm reading about asexuality people are always saying how sex-crazed the world is and how much sexual people think about sex. But is that actually true? I mean, I could just be oblivious, but I'm in high school and it doesn't seem like people really think about sex, let alone have it. Stuff like that makes me question my asexuality because it seems like hardly anyone experiences sexual attraction. I don't know though.

That was much more my experience in school and in life even though I worked *in* the sex industry when I was younger. I still never saw people running around acting sex crazed like people on AVEN make out society to be. My ex partner *was* sex crazed, but I don't look at him and say "oh all sexuals are hypersexual sex crazed jerks".. and there was one boy at school who literally only ever talked about sex and tried to get it from the girls (even me as and I was the class nerd, he called me a "stallion" and made this weird purring sound. I was wondering if I should tell him a stallion was a boy horse haha but weirdly decided it sounded better to say "my mum doesn't let me talk to boys" and ran off haha). But yeah people like that, in my experience, are actually few and far between.

 

Even in the sex industry, while yes people were paying for sex and some of the girls even enjoyed the sexual aspects of their jobs, it was never "crazed" in any way. We'd watch TV in the dressing room and eat junk food, and clients would watch TV or talk with the boss in the waiting room, people would get their thing done and leave lol. It seems asexuals here see a few people being "sex crazed" (maybe a certain group of teens at their school or a rude work colleague or something) and apply that to their *entire* highschool or all of humanity or whatever lol. But a lot of the time the vocal few at highschool especially who won't shut up about sex haven't even had it lol and it just makes them think they're more grown up talking about it:P

 

Edit oh and that's true about the "sexual attraction" thing haha. People don't walk around looking at other people and drooling etc wanting to have sex with them. Some do. But a lot (most, even) of people want to KNOW someone before they start thinking about actually having sex with them. There are plenty of people, especially many women, who can't even actively desire partnered sex until they have a romantic connection with someone. That desire comes *with* the romance. But yeah, pretty much what makes someone sexual is that under some circumstances they desire partnered sex for pleasure.. Everything else is variable and all changes massively from sexual person to sexual person :)

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. It seems asexuals here see a few people being "sex crazed" (maybe a certain group of teens at their school or a rude work colleague or something) and apply that to their *entire* highschool or all of humanity

That, or because asexuals just have sex on their radar at all, perfectly normative levels of sexual interest seem sex crazed - like calling someone who has sex 3-4 times a week 'hypersexual' for instance.

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