Jump to content

I find the idea of sex extremely disgusting


Annabelle1515

Recommended Posts

Annabelle1515

I'm 20. I'm a (not trying to be annoying) very attractive and have always had a lot of attention from men. For some reason, I find the idea of having boyfriends and having sex disgusting. Don't get me wrong, its not like I'm scared of it or anything. sex is just not something Im looking for in relationships, instead i look for something more like status and wealth and stuff like that. But back to the topic, It's like when I think about boyfriends, "they just all want to have sex with you" kind of stuff. I find the idea of sex so gross that I can't seem to look at men or relationships normally. There's nothing wrong with me, I come from a really wealthy and loving family, there's absolutely no problems of sexual abuse. I mean, I just can't seem to figure out what's really wrong with me. And its not like I wanna talk about this face to face with my psychologist. And I don't wanna talk about it with my parents either. My mom keeps thinking I'm weird for thinking that its really "disgusting and repulsive to the extreme", once she even asked me if I've ever been violated or raped before. I was like what the F***, this has nothing to do with how I feel. Do I have to be raped or so abnormal to feel this way. I can't seem to find a way around it and its affecting some of my views about things. I find couples generally quite gross too, not really gross but gross in a sexual way if you know what I mean. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet

Hey! Welcome to Aven!  Nijikazegirl is right! You aren't alone in that at all. Nothing is wrong with you. I find sex  Extremely Repulsive.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
5 minutes ago, nijikazegirl said:

Heck I am 28 and have been repulsed since the day I learned what sex was.

SAME.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
13 minutes ago, nijikazegirl said:

In other words congrats you will fit right in here.

11357631_440613906121093_1799201523_n.jp

Link to post
Share on other sites
Hermit Advocate

I know exactly how you feel. Welcome to AVEN! :cake:

Link to post
Share on other sites

This is going to sound like a joke in bad taste, but I'm being serious.

 

My mother was so sex-repulsed that I'm convinced she died a virgin. How I ended up being born is a mystery, but I knew the woman for half a century and can guarantee that she would never, ever have consented to sex. I never got the idea that she'd had sex without consenting to it, and she never treated me like I was unwanted, so it's possible that she just endured sex once or a very few times for the sole purpose of getting pregnant with me. But her simply never having had sex seems more probable.

 

I wonder whether that's why I'm asexual now. I'm pretty tolerant of other people's interest in sex, and have been lucky enough that no one has ever bothered me about it (a few self-exploring girls in high school don't count), so, for me, sex is just kind of there the way the sidewalk is just kind of there; but I don't have a personal interest in it. So is there any chance that a parent's sex-repulsion has some effect on their child's later sexuality?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza

I find it gross but moreso extremely invasive. I'd feel completely violated if it were ever to happen to me; I genuinely don't think I could ever cope with it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry

Meh... I don't think of it as gross or disgusting so much as I think of it as a quick thrill, like snorting cocaine. Exhilarating while it lasts, but after the high wears off, it's the same old world.

Link to post
Share on other sites

A lot of people here feel the same way you do, so you definitely aren't alone.  I am similarly extremely repulsed to sex, even though as far as I know I've never been through any trauma.  Some people are just repulsed by sex, and that's okay :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Annabelle1515 said:

I'm a (not trying to be annoying) very attractive

Never really had a thing for sandwich-flavoured sandwiches.

(By that I mean aren't you full of yourself here?)

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Fanto said:

Never really had a thing for sandwich-flavoured sandwiches.

(By that I mean aren't you full of yourself here?)

 

photo-67288.jpg

Fanto told me they only like bread flavoured bread. I guess a sandwich is going to far for them.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not necessarily repulsed by sex, but I'm definitely apathetic to the whole affair. I think it's fine to engage in it from time to time (I mean without it, the human race will die out), but when people go full stupid trying to get it or say they're gonna die without it, I can't help but snort in exasperation and disbelief.

Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

I find it gross but moreso extremely invasive. I'd feel completely violated if it were ever to happen to me; I genuinely don't think I could ever cope with it.

I hope this doesn't sound too weird or stupid... but I've tried to imagine what it's like for a female to have sex and it seems like it would be horrifying. Like why would anyone want some stiff thing jammed inside them, it does seem violating. I'm sure if I was female I would've stayed a virgin.

 

From my male perspective it's just awkward, weird and uninteresting, but even the idea of it for a female seems pretty awful.

Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, 012 said:

I hope this doesn't sound too weird or stupid... but I've tried to imagine what it's like for a female to have sex and it seems like it would be horrifying. Like why would anyone want some stiff thing jammed inside them, it does seem violating. I'm sure if I was female I would've stayed a virgin.

 

From my male perspective it's just awkward, weird and uninteresting, but even the idea of it for a female seems pretty awful.

As a female-bodied person, tradional penis-in-vagina sex seems like it would be really horrifying, so I don't think you're being weird or stupid.  I've never had sex so maybe it isn't as bad as I think it would be, but yeah it doesn't sound like it would be pleasant for me, and I have no desire to find out.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to AVEN :cake::cake:!

 

I'm pretty repulsed by the idea of having sex too. My friends and family often find it strange but most of them simply don't get asexuality so I learned to live with that.

 

I wouldn't let the sex thing be the thing that keeps you away from dating guys because some guys don't want to have sex or don't find it necessary. There are asexual guys and understanding sexual men out there. They may be difficult to find but they do exist.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I do feel sexual attraction sometimes (usually).

 

But the idea of real sex is weird...really weird...

Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, helana12_03 said:

There are asexual guys and understanding sexual men out there. They may be difficult to find but they do exist.

Yes, we do.  We're just hiding in the woods like Bigfoot, so not so easy to find lol

Link to post
Share on other sites

You are not alone on this one. I  can't stand it either. I don't understand why people don't understand it. What makes matters even worse is when they try to talk you out of it and then proceed to diagnose you and tell you what your true sexual desires are. There is nothing wrong with you. I get it all the time. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/12/2017 at 7:20 AM, Annabelle1515 said:

...instead i look for something more like status and wealth and stuff like that.

Some sexual people select their partners based on status and wealth rather than sexual or romantic attraction.  Many people are willing to essentially have compromise sex with some one in hopes of sharing their status or wealth.  Once this was the usual historical basis for marriage, but that doesn't mean sexual attraction or sexual satisfaction were part of the equation.  Even sexual people are often repulsed by the idea of sex with some one to whom they're not sexually attracted. 

 

How you feel about the prospect of any form of sexual contact with people you really, really like and find to be aesthetically and/or romantically appealing is probably more telling.  Only you can decide if you are ace, but if that sounds disgusting too, then you may indeed be a sex repulsed asexual.  

 

Sad to say, 11 % of girls are sexually assaulted before they turn 18 and one in 6 women are assaulted in college.  If sexual trauma routinely made you asexual, we'd be a lot more than 1% of the population.  If you are a repulsed ace, it doesn't mean you're repressing some sexual trauma.  There's nothing wrong with you; repulsed asexual is just your orientation.  

 

Orientations aren't something you can find a way around.  If your therapist is well informed about asexuality, talking to them may help you learn to be more comfortable with your feelings, but therapy can not change a person's sexual orientation.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

's possible that she just endured sex once or a very few times for the sole purpose of getting pregnant with me. But her simply never having had sex seems more probable.

Tell me this is a joke. It's really far more likely that she endured sex to get pregnant, than the laws of biology changed to accommodate her repulsion. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I know of quite a few children conceived without sex being involved.  Several women used a male friend and a turkey baster because the mother wanted children but she was gay or the mother either simply didn't have or perhaps didn't want a male partner and wanted to start a family.  Others used the physician's office and a sperm bank.  When I make one of my rare visits to Facebook, I see quite a few of my male friends with surrogate birthed children.  That's not even counting my friends who conceived in vitro due to infertility issues.

 

Sex free conception is not the most common way to have babies by any means, but it's just not that unusual, especially under the queer umbrella.  

Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, *kit* said:

I know of quite a few children conceived without sex being involved.  Several women used a male friend and a turkey baster because the mother wanted children but she was gay or the mother either simply didn't have or perhaps didn't want a male partner and wanted to start a family.  Others used the physician's office and a sperm bank.  When I make one of my rare visits to Facebook, I see quite a few of my male friends with surrogate birthed children.  That's not even counting my friends who conceived in vitro due to infertility issues.

 

Sex free conception is not the most common way to have babies by any means, but it's just not that unusual, especially under the queer umbrella.  

This is 50 years ago to a woman who presumably didn't identify as queer. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 13/01/2017 at 6:27 AM, orange socks said:

This is going to sound like a joke in bad taste, but I'm being serious.

 

My mother was so sex-repulsed that I'm convinced she died a virgin. How I ended up being born is a mystery, but I knew the woman for half a century and can guarantee that she would never, ever have consented to sex. I never got the idea that she'd had sex without consenting to it, and she never treated me like I was unwanted, so it's possible that she just endured sex once or a very few times for the sole purpose of getting pregnant with me. But her simply never having had sex seems more probable.

 

I wonder whether that's why I'm asexual now. I'm pretty tolerant of other people's interest in sex, and have been lucky enough that no one has ever bothered me about it (a few self-exploring girls in high school don't count), so, for me, sex is just kind of there the way the sidewalk is just kind of there; but I don't have a personal interest in it. So is there any chance that a parent's sex-repulsion has some effect on their child's later sexuality?

Or something bad could have happened to her sexually which 1) caused her to become pregnant with you and 2) made her utterly averse to, and repulsed by, the idea of sex..

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...