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Not sure where to go from here? Boyfriend has fetish and doesn't like sex


Samsarar

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I found this site searching online for information relevant to my situation. I don't know if my boyfriend would be considered asexual, but I figure I could get some advice.  I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now (we're both 21), and we are great for each other. The only major problem is our sex life. He has had many girlfriends before me, but I am his first truly sexual relationship. I was the one who initiated sex, but he was very hesitant and it took awhile for us to even try. I've had five sexual partners before him, and I've never experienced this before. I thought maybe it was because he was inexperienced? Maybe he is scared to disappoint?  

As much as I hate to say it, the sex is not good. It's uncomfortable, and he can't stay hard most of the time. I noticed from the very beginning that he lacked a desire to have sexual intercourse, but he never admitted it. For me personally, sexual intercourse is very important, and I can honestly say he has never satisfied me completely. I've always been into being dominated and having rough sex, so it's the total opposite now with my boyfriend.

We finally talked deeply about how he feels about the act of sex itself, and he says he's never been really turned on by it. My boyfriend does have a peeing fetish, and I've been very open with it and try to please him. I'm the only person he's ever told. He likes to make me hold it and and likes to watch me wet my pants. We can't do it very often as it isn't very convenient, and there isn't really a way to combine his fetish in the bedroom. From a young age he discovered that he was just into peeing. He only watched porn of that, and he never got anything out of watching porn of people having intercourse. His relationships in the past suffered due to lack of sex (i.e. his past girlfriend cheated on him). He can be very sexual and is easily aroused, but he finally admitted that the act of penetrative sex is not something he seems to be into. I know he wants to please me, but it's just not working because the sex drive isn't there. He wants to keep trying, but is it even worth it? What can we  do? I've been so patient and obviously it's not his fault, but it's really killing me. We're both just really confused. 

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I'm not very familiar with the water fetishes, but why can you not combine it into the bedroom? Could you not hold it and during sex release so he can maintain arousal/erection?

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Sex repulsed people don't read this, it will be graphic.

 

There are all sorts of ways to enjoy a peeing fetish in the bedroom. You can use plastic sheets under your regular sheets to pee in the bed or on each other or over yourself, you could hold your pee while he has sex with you (have you tried that?), urine enemas, even pee in each other's mouths and drink it (or drink your own pee while he watchs) but that's getting extreme for some. Sometimes when someone's sexuality is predominantly centered around a certain fetish, the only way to actually make a sexual relationship work is when both partners have the same fetish, so you can both get off equally practicing it with each other in all its extremes. Sometimes it just won't work if one partner can only get off to things relating to a certain fetish and the other partner doesn't get off on that fetish so just tries to force themselves to do it and doesn't get much out of it (which kind of kills the mood for both partners). But yeah, you and your partner could research online to find ways to enjoy a urination fetish together, but is he trying to meet you halfway? If you're trying to incorporate this fetish into your sex life to help get him going, is he at least trying to do things for you too? Could you for example enjoy being roughly penetrated with toys? So that way his penis isn't involved if he can't maintain an erection. Maybe to help him, you could hold your pee while he uses a dildo roughly on you, then you could pee right after you orgasm. Maybe by that point he'd be so hard he'd be able to penetrate you  while you're still wet between your legs from the pee, which might help him get off and could give you time for a second orgasm while he penetrates you if you're lucky? Or he could use the toy again or something? Just an idea :)

 

Good luck, whatever you end up trying:cake:

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