Username_2017 Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 When I think about wanting to have sex, it is primarily for fun and sexual release. The emotional component comes after. I don't think oh it would be nice to have sex to bond with someone. I have been fairly used for sex in the past (no one actually wanting to enter a relationship with me just casual sex) and I was in a physically abusive relationship where my partner groomed me for prostitution (never went through with it) and injected me with heroin.. It was toxic and I have been left emotionally scarred. I am terrified of someone needing sex to feel emotionally secure, the thought makes me feel very nauseous. Today I am clearly struggling with my mental health, I keep yo-yoing backwards and forwards with my sexuality. Don't even know if I'm even asking anything here or just rambling. Link to post Share on other sites
Private Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 It sounds as if things have been tough for you in your life. I am so sorry you were abused. Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 9 hours ago, Username_2017 said: I am terrified of someone needing sex to feel emotionally secure, the thought makes me feel very nauseous. Meanwhile, I'm on the other side of the issue, having never been considered attractive enough for casual sex and the like.. So as for myself, I look at people who need sex to feel emotionally secure with disdain. I guess our experiences make us all different. Nothing wrong with that. No reason to change your attitude toward sex because "healthy people must have such and such an attitude" or anything. Just do as you like, seek in a relationship what you actually wish for, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Username_2017 Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 Thank you Tracy and tarfeather. Mental health is a funny old thing and luckily I have woken up feeling a lot better. I guess I feel like I don't fit in with sexuals or asexuals but I definitely find myself agreeing with many more posts from asexuals. I find myself constantly comparing myself to others and really I need to do some spiritual work on myself around acceptance! Link to post Share on other sites
Sunflowerfield Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Wow, it sounds like you've been through some very traumatic experiences. I hope you can find a good therapist and some supportive friends who can help you process all of this. I know therapy has helped me with various issues in the past. It can take a while to find a good fit but it's worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
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