Lira Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Hey guys. Do do any of you feel like you're treated as more innocent and childish for being asexual? I've struggled with this a lot growing up. I look younger than my real age by about 5 years, and a fair number of my acquaintance treat me like a youngster more straightforwardly when sexual themes pop up. This week, I was playing Cards Against Humanity with some friends and several of the concepts went over my head because it's not my area of expertise for lack of a better phrase. It doesn't help my cause very much >_> Do any of you have troubles with this sort of thing? Link to post Share on other sites
Assemble Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I'm a grey-a, I identify as asexual usually, and I always look a year younger Link to post Share on other sites
Laplace Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 People used to say stuff like, "You'll change when you get older." and treated me as somehow less of an adult for still being a virgin. My serious attitude and academic achievements pretty much shut people up later on though. And, I definitely look like an adult now. I'm fine with being the "prudish" guy, I just get irritated when people act condescending towards me because of it. It kinda pisses me off that some people think I can't be "mature" if I haven't been in a relationship or had sex. Though I'll totally give people the right to make fun of me for being oblivious to flirting and stuff. I'm hopeless when it comes to that sort of thing. *whooosh* Link to post Share on other sites
X86 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 17 minutes ago, Lira said: Hey guys. Do do any of you feel like you're treated as more innocent and childish for being asexual? I've struggled with this a lot growing up. I look younger than my real age by about 5 years, and a fair number of my acquaintance treat me like a youngster more straightforwardly when sexual themes pop up. This week, I was playing Cards Against Humanity with some friends and several of the concepts went over my head because it's not my area of expertise for lack of a better phrase. It doesn't help my cause very much >_> Do any of you have troubles with this sort of thing? Actually, no, although I can imagine how frustrating that must be. I look several years older. A few friends of mine know that I'm (probably) asexual (or at least not like them), but they don't treat me like a child because of it. Link to post Share on other sites
ozunkyun Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I'm 18 and I'm not out yet. I am going to come out to my sister, brother and his wife (I tried to come out to my parents, but it's useless, because well. well). It will be interesting to see how they react and even more interesting to see how they will treat me in the future. They are all very open-minded, but it's still very easy to be acephobic due to the lack of information about us. I'm really curious to feel this on myself, since coming out to my parents didn't really count as a proper coming out experience (though my mother did tell me it's just a phase, not an orientation). Why not? Because they immediately forgot. Which was most definitely intensional. They can't accept anything other than heterosexual. Classic case, isn't it? I keep venting about this Link to post Share on other sites
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Yes. People would say shit like " you'll feel different when you get older" or "you're a virgin,so you can't understand". It really gets annoying as fuck. Link to post Share on other sites
Mychemicalqpr Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Hard to say how much of it is asexuality and how much of it is that I just look small irl. I'm 18 and I've been guessed as young as 12. My social shyness and awkwardness also tends to be pretty apparent, which might not help either. When I was really sex repulsed though, I actually encouraged people to treat me like a child when it came to the topic. Now that I've grown passed that and even occasionally enjoy a joke, I seem to be perceived as at least somewhat more mature. Link to post Share on other sites
Assemble Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 1 minute ago, twilightstarr said: I'm 18 and I've been guessed as young as 12. Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Haha. I'm gonna be 27 soon and people still treat me like a teenager. Link to post Share on other sites
biancaboricua13 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I look younger than my age so I normally get people that are younger than I or people my age or older telling me that my attitude about a lot of things will change once I get older. They normally don't know that I'm asexual and I prefer it that way; if I'm close to them then I have no problem telling them. When people find out that I am 35, have two teens, and almost served two decades in the Army then they change their tune. Hahahahaha! Then I twirl and tell them I have fabulous genes! Bwahahahahahaha! Link to post Share on other sites
Skyla Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Oh, hell yes. I've experienced this a lot, but not because of asexuality. It seems to be more of how you present yourself. When I'm at school, I'm more passive than I normally would be. I've had some really bad experiences with being bullied, so I just stay quiet and nice to everyone. I don't argue and I rarely go out of my way to debate my point of view, even if it is different. A lot of people believe my politeness to be innocence, and are surprised when they get to know me a little better. As for Cards Against Humanity, someone assumed I didn't know how to play. The nerve of some people! I was so happy I did great that game. I don't know every single term, but I don't need to. I'm not into that kind of stuff. I don't think being seen as innocent is a bad thing. It makes people underestimate you sometimes, but I'd rather be the sweet girl than that one drama queen bitch. Link to post Share on other sites
Scottthespy Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 People tend to think I'm a lot OLDER than I am...the oldest I was ever guessed at was thirteen years older than I was at the time. And I was literally wearing a propeller hat. I have no idea why everyone thinks I'm so mature. My asexuality seems to have contributed to people seeing me as MORE mature because of it..."Oh, you're past all that, you're comfortable in your own skin, you're happy with what you want, you aren't all hormone riddled". I dunno, just my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
NerotheReaper Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I don't think so really, I look a lot younger than I actually am, but I act way older than I am. I think I relate to the phrase "an old soul", where I am more mature than others and just carry myself differently than other people. So I am all over the place really, I look young but I act older. Link to post Share on other sites
Vicky Angel Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I look about 10 years younger than my actual age, so even before I knew I am ace, I was always treated like a child. Link to post Share on other sites
artzcat Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 2 minutes ago, Vicky Angel said: I look about 10 years younger than my actual age, so even before I knew I am ace, I was always treated like a child. Same. It doesn't help that I also can't pretend to be an adult very well. Link to post Share on other sites
Joe the Stoic Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I am 25. I graduated from UNC. I was in the military. And yet Baby Boomers still think that I and everyone my age are know-nothings. Link to post Share on other sites
sculapius Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Funnily enough I usually get the opposite here. Still a high schooler, but I have the look and act of at least a university student. Everyone I tell my actual age to is always quite surprised. Maybe it's the thousand yard state in my eyes, or whatever it is. Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I'm 22, I look 15, and my identity is 12. No one takes me seriously, but it's mostly because my parents just see a kid in me and that my suggestions are never good enough for anything. Link to post Share on other sites
King Al Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Erm... Sexual reference inside I wouldn't say innocent, definitely childish though. Although, often I've been told that I dress much older and act much older than I actually am. It'd be fun to find out how old people actually think I am though... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest 222 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I'm actually a 1 1/2 year old rabbit sometimes people mistake me for a one year old rabbit Link to post Share on other sites
King Al Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 1 minute ago, SapphireDelvai said: I'm actually a 1 1/2 year old rabbit sometimes people mistake me for a one year old rabbit No way! I thought you were 2 1/2! Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Not due to asexuality, but I'm 23 and people have thought I'm 14 before so... Link to post Share on other sites
UncommonNonsense Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I routinely get mistaken for someone in their late 20s even though I'm actually 40... and I still can't figure out how the hell people are missing the grey in my hair or the start of crow's feet at the corners of my eyes. But I guess I do look a little younger than my age - just not 20+ years younger! Maybe 10... on a *good* day. What really causes people to totally mess up on guessing my age is that my social skills are closer to those of a teenager than they are to someone my own age. I've always had social delays. My being treated like a kid has nothing to do with my being ace. It is solely caused by being autistic. Whatever the cause, it is still absolutely infuriating! Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit Advocate Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I'm only out to one friend and I've always been the mature adult one since we were little kids; so, no. Though there were often times growing up when i would not get a sexual reference and my friends would explain it to me in a "she's so adorably naive" manner; though they might have guessed that I was asexual on a subconscious level. Link to post Share on other sites
anzu2snow Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 I apparently look much younger than I am. Recently turned 32, and people guessed that I was 16 recently. Pretty much everyone's surprised by my actual age. No one guesses it correctly. It's been that way for most of my life. Yet, my friends would say I was much more mature and 'refined' in personality than them. I've been kicked out of bars, because they thought my ID was fake. I don't even drink. Just wanted to hang out with my friends. Asked for our weekly challah (a type of bread) one week, and they asked to talk to my mom instead. I was about 25 at the time, and they thought I was too young to pick up a loaf of bread? I haven't been out as ace for very long. Although, when I came out (also as aro) to a few peole during Thanksgiving, one of them said: "Someday you'll change your mind." "That's just a phase, you'll find someone in the future." "Wait until you're older." "Just give it time." Ummm...How long should I wait according to her? That's the only person who's treated me this way so far. I'm not entirely sure if it was because I'm aro ace, or she really thought I was younger than I am. Even if I was younger, and came out to her, I would know myself more than her. It's not necessarily an age thing in my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
dragon_cake Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 On 12/31/2016 at 7:05 PM, Laplace said: People used to say stuff like, "You'll change when you get older." and treated me as somehow less of an adult for still being a virgin. My serious attitude and academic achievements pretty much shut people up later on though. And, I definitely look like an adult now. I'm fine with being the "prudish" guy, I just get irritated when people act condescending towards me because of it. It kinda pisses me off that some people think I can't be "mature" if I haven't been in a relationship or had sex. Though I'll totally give people the right to make fun of me for being oblivious to flirting and stuff. I'm hopeless when it comes to that sort of thing. *whooosh* I've pretty much experienced most of this but around my family. Despite growing a little taller and wearing some make up, I still get mistaken as someone in high school or middle school when I'm 23. Link to post Share on other sites
Squeaky Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 Only a couple people actually know I'm ace, but this is definitely something I deal with a lot. I feel like some of my friends might've treated me a little weird in high school since I've always been rather withdrawn and never expressed interest in relationships. Most people, especially the ones my parents' age, tend to treat me like a child since I look pretty young and I'm only 5'2". I feel like a lot of people look down on me simply because they have to look down at me. I'm 20, so I mean that's almost a child? But I still don't really wanna be treated like I'm a kid. Link to post Share on other sites
cato Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 I'm 25, but people regularly assume I'm in early high school and are shocked to hear I'm ten years older than they had thought. I get "You'll look great when you're 40!" a lot Honestly, though, I don't find it to be a problem for me, though. I do just fine in acting my age in every respect other than sex, and I'm past the age (at least, among the sort of people I hang out with) that it even matters. Link to post Share on other sites
Assemble Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 When someone thinks you're 3 years younger because you look like a ghost. Link to post Share on other sites
Florenna Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Ah, I'm always taken for much younger than I am (usually at least 10 years or so), based on my looks & the way I am, but didn't realize that could be due to being asexual (or grey-A)! (Well, half-joking, as people don't actually know that about me, as I only realized it myself recently and haven't really come out yet...) Link to post Share on other sites
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