Joe the Stoic Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I have noticed that this is a thing that women do that men do not. If I pass by a woman in public, and we are even vaguely looking toward each other, she will smile at me. This seems to be a thing that women of all ages do too. Even recently, this girl about my age was walking down a grocery store aisle, arms locked with her boyfriend, and even she shot me a smile. Men don't seem to smile. A brief moment of eye contact elicits mostly nothing. I know I don't go around smiling at people. Why is there this difference? Link to post Share on other sites
Member4445 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I smile at everyone too (I'm a female). I do it just to show that I am friendly and polite. You don't meet somebodies eyes and scowl, that would make them think you aren't very nice. Usually I'm constantly smiling anyway in my own little world, i don't often do it deliberately. Link to post Share on other sites
Jme Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Subconscious habits developed through consistent exposure societal influence and expectation. Link to post Share on other sites
RedSheep2 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I don't smile at strangers, unless they are kids/babies or women on occasion. Very, very rarely do I smile at men. If I see a man checking me out I will sneer at him. I could care less if random straight men think I'm "not nice" or whatever. I already have a man and most of these dudes I'll never see again in life so their opinion means nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
King Al Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I smile at everyone. I dunno why I do it. I just always have done. I dunno. Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Classic AVEN. Someone asks 'why...' and gets a bunch of posts from people describing what they do... Link to post Share on other sites
Lemonsky Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 They like to spread positivity and kindness around. I have a weird-looking smile however so I pretty much try to avoid everyone's gaze in public, just to save their eyes. If a person smiles at me, I do try my best to smile back though. Link to post Share on other sites
RedSheep2 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 4 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said: Classic AVEN. Someone asks 'why...' and gets a bunch of posts from people describing what they do... Well what can one expect from gender-specific questions, as if ALL men or ALL women do the same thing? People are individuals and don't all operate the same way, even if we happen to share the same genitalia. That's common sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Some speculation about reasons why people do it? Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 You're basically trained to as AFAB because we're supposed to be kind and polite, whereas AMABs are trained to hold in their emotions and not appear 'feminine'. Link to post Share on other sites
EricK Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I'm a man and I tend to smile at everyone. Not a huge smile, just a quick smile. I suppose I do it to show I don't intend to cause them any harm. I.e to de-escalate a situation before the situation even arises. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Basically to avoid conflict with strangers and to deepen friendships. I also like to brighten other people's days. I know I am happier when the strangers around me look friendly. Theory: There are more women than men with the Myers-Briggs-personality letter "F" (people who instinctively cooperate and compromise when working with others). And F-types smile more often (to avoid conflict). In one department of my university the male students hardly ever smile. It always makes me feel disliked. I believe one needs a good reason *not* to smile at the person one is talking with. (I know, you are not only talking about conversation partners.) Link to post Share on other sites
kani Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 It's pretty different in Northern Europe though, the people who do have that "resting nice face" are approached more and that, but not smiling or having a "resting bitch face" only causes you problems if you go outside the Northern part. Like I went down to Bretagne for a week, was having the time of my life but the student exchange host family kept asking me if something was wrong even though I tried so hard to smile all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Tanwen Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 " Smiling is infectious, you catch it like the flu When someone smiled at me today I started smiling too I walked around the corner and someone saw me grin When he smiled I realised I had passed it on to him I thought about that smile and then realised its worth A single smile like mine could travel round the earth So if you feel a smile begin don't leave it undetected Lets start an epidemic and get the world infected " Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Well, the expression of a woman not smiling all the time is called "resting bitch face" so if she doesn't want to give off the impression that she's hateful and unpleasant, she pretty much has to smile. It's socialization and conditioning, not nature. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I really never noticed :o, ... shit now that I know this I will start looking for it! Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 A bit out of topic: Aww, that totally reminds me of a childhood song! Warning, extremely cheesy and cute sounding voice (Russian): Part of the lyrics in English: A smile warms up everything - The elephant and even the little snail... So let's turn on our smiles All around the world like lightbulbs! Link to post Share on other sites
gisiebob Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 well, see if some stranger smiles at me out of the blue then I feel like smiling, and I like that feeling. so smiling at strangers out of the blue means that if they think like I do they might just smile back and me smile even happier! so for me its maybe like a social handshake, and a fun little quickdraw game of who can remember to smile first. don't care to notice a bit about gender on this, but that's probably me aggressively not caring about gender more than anything Link to post Share on other sites
biancaboricua13 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I don't smile at anyone I don't know. I only smile at people I know extremely well. People often think that I am extremely pissed off or in a foul mood when I pass by; I often have strangers tell me that I need to smile (as if I need some person that does not know me telling me what to do with my face). Now on to why people do it, it is mere socialization. People in different societies may be subconsciously taught that to be approachable smiling is the way to go. In some cases, this is not always taught, of course. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Oh gosh, I had that recently. My face froze when I was told "to smile". I'm polite enough not to tell them to "f off", so they should be polite and smart enough not to tell people "to smile". Link to post Share on other sites
Nebulous Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Personally I don't smile at strangers. But a lot of women do because it's, as others have already said, due to social expectations. If you don't smile at someone, you're labelled as callous, and you're seen as a bitch. Because it's expected that women show more emotion than men. Men don't do it because they usually won't be labelled those things; instead, words like "serious" will be used. That being said, some people - both men and women - smile simply because they're happy or very friendly, and there's nothing wrong with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Ennis Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I was asked by Russian guests why Germans smile all the time. In Russia, there is a saying: "Smiling without reason is a sign of folly". So far I have not noticed any gender related differences. I will keep my eyes open, though. I personally am a rather friendly and good-natured person (except for those occasions when I'm not) and unless I'm in a bad mood, I smile at people - or I don't. Sometimes I smile about one of my weird thoughts and people think I'm smiling at them. Smiling to me feels like a way of saying "I see and respect you, I'm on your side and do not intend to do you any harm". Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Quote In Russia, there is a saying: "Smiling without reason is a sign of folly". Explains a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I would translate it as "Laughter without reason is a sign of folly". But I'm sure that this is related to smiles as well. Link to post Share on other sites
fuzzipueo Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 1 hour ago, Joe Parrish said: I have noticed that this is a thing that women do that men do not. If I pass by a woman in public, and we are even vaguely looking toward each other, she will smile at me. This seems to be a thing that women of all ages do too. Even recently, this girl about my age was walking down a grocery store aisle, arms locked with her boyfriend, and even she shot me a smile. Men don't seem to smile. A brief moment of eye contact elicits mostly nothing. I know I don't go around smiling at people. Why is there this difference? Like a few others have said, it's part of the social conditioning. We're told from a young age that a smile is a good thing, even at strangers, since it's polite and shows that we mean no harm. Also, of the genders, women are supposed to be the more social, gathering in groups, taking care of and teaching the young, etc. Men are supposedly more individual and focused on providing and protecting the den (stone age much? LOL). Meeting another man's eye could be seen as an aggressive gesture too, depending on the circumstance. However, there have been studies that prove that smiling is a good thing for everyone and it has evolutionary benefits. Just perusing Google, I found this interesting article on Livescience from 2012: http://www.livescience.com/20578-social-connection-smile-strangers.html Quote People who have been acknowledged by a stranger feel more connected to others immediately after the experience than people who have been deliberately ignored, according to study reported here today (May 24) at the annual meeting of the Society for the Study of Motivation. "Ostracism is painful," said study researcher Eric Wesselmann, a social psychologist at Purdue University in Indiana. "Sometimes, colloquially, I like to say ostracism sucks. It's not a pleasant experience." Isolation and connection The pain is psychological, but it can also extend to the physical. Studies have linked loneliness to a weakened immune system and a hardening of the arteries, for example. And a variety of laboratory experiments have shown that when a person is excluded, even if for a brief time in something as inconsequential as a silly computer game, they feel worse about themselves and experience an all-around sour mood. Researchers suspect that this response is evolutionary. Humans are social animals, adapted for group living, Wesselmann said. "If you depend upon others for your survival, if you are culled from that group, you are as good as dead," he said. Link to post Share on other sites
Tainted Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I smile broadly whenever someone looks me in the face, regardless of what I'm feeling a smile can help lift someone's day. I am male, though certainly far from a typical one. Link to post Share on other sites
Scottthespy Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 From my experience, this is less a gender thing and more a cultural thing. In some places, the people are just happier and smile more all the time, at people, at the sky, at buildings...In Canada and the US, which have very similar, though of course not identical, cultures, people don't seem to smile as much in general. People who DO smile at others are probably being polite, friendly, or trying to convey a sense of happiness to others (which is my reason for doing it). Its a recognition of having seen and acknowledged the presence of another thinking human being near them as a positive thing. If you notice women doing it more often, it may be because you are in a culture where women are taught that they're allowed to be more open with their feelings, while men are taught to keep them bottled up. In a culture like this, women would be more comfortable showing their happiness while recognizing a fellow human being, while men would be more inclined to hide any sort of emotion that came from that recognition. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 For myself, just being friendly because it's better than being unfriendly and who knows what kind of negativity people might have in their life. Link to post Share on other sites
AVEN #1 fan Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 Well, I smile at everyone but men (they usually come at me for BS if so) even when I'm dead inside. I'm not readen as a women by society. Link to post Share on other sites
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