SHOOOKOH Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 Hey everyone! Thanks for giving my post a read in advance. I've just been pondering over this whole wearing a black ring on your middle finger so people know you're asexual thing lately. Is it worth it? Of course more importantly: does it work? Or do people not really notice? I've also wondered where some of you get your black rings from because on Etsy they weren't really what I expected (they weren't just solid black or monochrome). I have a ring that could suit the bill already that I've found oddly enough on a sidewalk a year ago while walking somewhere. However I know everyone doesn't have one and some might be interested and have no where to go for it. I'm really wondering more than anything else about the effectiveness of the rings since it's not really something the average Joe kind of person notices or even looks out for. Hopefully someone can clear the air for me and anyone else who might be in the same boat as I am. Thank you once again for giving my thread a gander. I wish you all the best! Stay safe. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WinterWanderer Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 I've had my ring for about a year now, and I wear it every now and then. As far as I know, no one has ever recognized it as an ace ring. But I don't mind. I mostly wear it as a reminder to myself, instead of as a beacon for other people. I got mine on Amazon. It's a black version of the One Ring from "Lord of the Rings." 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
biancaboricua13 Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 I've worn mine for a while and it really hasn't been noticed. Most often people ask me if I'm going through a divorce and just moved my ring. I have quite a few black rings since I have an affinity for the color, so most people that know me don't question it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
X86 Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 On 17/12/2016 at 11:25 PM, SHOOOKOH said: Hey everyone! Thanks for giving my post a read in advance. I've just been pondering over this whole wearing a black ring on your middle finger so people know you're asexual thing lately. Is it worth it? Of course more importantly: does it work? Or do people not really notice? I've also wondered where some of you get your black rings from because on Etsy they weren't really what I expected (they weren't just solid black or monochrome). I have a ring that could suit the bill already that I've found oddly enough on a sidewalk a year ago while walking somewhere. However I know everyone doesn't have one and some might be interested and have no where to go for it. I'm really wondering more than anything else about the effectiveness of the rings since it's not really something the average Joe kind of person notices or even looks out for. Hopefully someone can clear the air for me and anyone else who might be in the same boat as I am. Thank you once again for giving my thread a gander. I wish you all the best! Stay safe. I don't have a ring that I can use for this purpose; I'd like to get one, though, but cheap black rings are not particularly commonplace. You have to realise this, however — the amount of people who know about this is negligible. The chance that you'll meet someone while walking down the street who sees your ring and mentions asexuality is probably about one in a million. If you're going to wear such a ring, you'd probably have to do it for yourself. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Calix Stay Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 I found one for cheap, cheap on Amazon, and it's fairly wide-- 10mm-- and solid metalic black... ...mind, it's shipping from China and is taking nigh on a month to get here, but did I mention it was cheap? my $.02 is that th' odds of anyone knowing it's symbolism are about th' same as knowing th' symbolism for a yellow coffee mug... But then again, I'm going to be wearing mine more for my own enjoyment and self-identification than anything else. I dunno-- sometimes I almost wished there was something obvious, like pride rings, but I also like th' idea of being in-cog-neat-o... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
X86 Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 7 minutes ago, Calix Stay said: I found one for cheap, cheap on Amazon, and it's fairly wide-- 10mm-- and solid metalic black... ...mind, it's shipping from China and is taking nigh on a month to get here, but did I mention it was cheap? my $.02 is that th' odds of anyone knowing it's symbolism are about th' same as knowing th' symbolism for a yellow coffee mug... But then again, I'm going to be wearing mine more for my own enjoyment and self-identification than anything else. I dunno-- sometimes I almost wished there was something obvious, like pride rings, but I also like th' idea of being in-cog-neat-o... Mind linking it? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 I have worn mine for about 3 years and it doesn't get noticed. Its possible that no one notices my black ring because I wear black clothes almost every day so people probably think the black ring is part of the black clothes thing. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mermaidy Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 after about a year only two people noticed my ring and asked (my mom and grandma). I don't think it's a problem with the ring not "working" but rather that there are few people aware of it (even a lot of asexual people don't even know about it) so then it's likely no one will spot it. some people might even notice but not want to say anything, especially since it might just be a ring that the wearer wears and mean nothing about asexuality 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FlaafyTaffy Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 The amount of people who will not only realize that it is supposed to mean something but also know what reason you are wearing it for is probably very very small. There are a couple of different reasons people wear black rings. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
i_am_me2 Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 i have only had a couple of passive acknowkedgements. though one was from an lgtb professor at university, and another from a fellow student who gave my ring hand a knowing glance. i guess only those who know its significance would know what it would mean to us aces Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Calix Stay Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 3 hours ago, mountainhead said: Mind linking it? sho'!! Mah pleasure!https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B010N4FAKM/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 and I peeked at your profile an' noticed you and I haz th' same birthday! #CakeForDinner!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit Advocate Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 I feel like we need a code phrase to say to people if we notice they have a black ring to determine if they're ace or not. It feels a bit awkward to just blurt out "hey, are you ace?" 11 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Zsareph Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 7 hours ago, Hey you in the corner said: I feel like we need a code phrase to say to people if we notice they have a black ring to determine if they're ace or not. It feels a bit awkward to just blurt out "hey, are you ace?" XD That would actually be a good idea. I've come across two people wearing black rings on their middle right hands and had no idea how to ask them about it discreetly. A code phrase would have been pretty useful, and I'd also feel like a secret agent which is almost always a plus. 9 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest And Peggy Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 I've had an ace ring for a couple of months and no one really knows what it means. I don't wear it for other people, I wear it for myself. So if you want to wear it because you think other people will know what it means, my advice would be to not wear it. I got my ace ring at https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B007LQG9TC/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1482082557&sr=8-3&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=black+ring&dpPl=1&dpID=41I71s385xL&ref=plSrch -CakeSpadeAce Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest And Peggy Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 10 hours ago, Hey you in the corner said: I feel like we need a code phrase to say to people if we notice they have a black ring to determine if they're ace or not. It feels a bit awkward to just blurt out "hey, are you ace?" Yeah, that would be really cool. I am kind of shy so it's hard to say it outright. Plus, like Emanresu Yllisa said, I'd feel like a secret agent. -CakeSpadeAce Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MimiRose Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 I have a black ring that my friend bought for me from amazon because I haven't come out to my family yet. Yes, I really do like my ring and while in the beginning I was a bit afraid to wear it because it seemed like I was blasting my sexuality at people's faces I came to eventually realize that people don't really know what it stands for. I pointed it out and explained it when I was coming out at school and actually it was quite recently a friend recognized it and said that she was thinking she might be ace too! I never would've had that conversation had I not worn the ring. I was really really attached to it at first because it was my validity that asexuality is real, I'm not broken, that there's a community out there that feels the same and it was reassuring to have a solid reminder that I; we all belong. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Calix Stay Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 4 hours ago, CakeSpadeAce said: 15 hours ago, Hey you in the corner said: I feel like we need a code phrase to say to people if we notice they have a black ring to determine if they're ace or not. It feels a bit awkward to just blurt out "hey, are you ace?" what about, "hey! I lubbs yer cake ring!!" ::shows off your own:: if you get a quizzical look, you can either lead into a discussion or just stand and smile crookedly and say, "awkward!" 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest And Peggy Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 Just now, Calix Stay said: what about, "hey! I lubbs yer cake ring!!" ::shows off your own:: if you get a quizzical look, you can either lead into a discussion or just stand and smile crookedly and say, "awkward!" This made me laugh so hard😂 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 I actually have a fairly cheap plain black ring that I got off Etsy. I really love it because it's made out of flexible material which makes it really comfortable to wear (very important to me because I use my hands a lot and often get annoyed with solid rings). If you're interested I can post the link for you next time I'm on my laptop. As for whether it works, it depends on what you mean by working. I wear a ring mainly as a reminder to myself that it's okay to be the way I am, and in that respect, it's been working really well. But no one's really noticed it other than myself. I've been wearing it a little over two years, and in that time only one other asexual person noticed it. It's such a rare thing that if your main reason for wearing it is for other people to notice, you might be disappointed. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
UrbanPrimitive Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 I'm curious about the desire for a coded phrase to discuss the coded symbolism of a ring few people seem to notice. If anything it seems l like approaching someone to compliment them on their ring and ask if they're ace is a step toward the visibility many of us wish we had. If the person doesn't know what you mean when you ask "is that an ace ring?" it's pretty easy to pass it off by saying something along the lines of "oh, it's this thing online" or "it's a pride thing", restate that you like their ring, and boogie out of there. If someone came up to me and bluntly asked "are you ace?" I'd be tempted to hug them on the spot. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
furaneol Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 I don't have one for myself, but my friend has one and wears it all the time. I guess it worked for him in a different way in that I was able to ask him what the ring was/what it meant. Because of his ring, I learned about asexuality/AVEN, and found a community of people to identify with for the first time in terms of sexual orientation. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
karnzter Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 I got mine here and it's amazing. Although I have to take it off whenever I take public transport or do things that can potentially scratch the ring. A couple of people have noticed it but never asked if I was ace. Usually, they ask why I wear it on the right middle finger and as of now I reply that it is out of 'style' purposes. I came out initially months before I got the ring and it didn't work out well majorly. So for now, I'm keeping my ace-ness a secret until it's the right time to formally and properly come out. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
borkfork Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 I've run into two people in the wild who identified my ring and both were wearing their own. One was in front of me in line at the grocery store and the other at a munch. I've noticed other people looking, especially in the kink community and in LGBTQA friendly places. I got mine here because metal allergy + skinny fingers. They also have them in ace colors and whatnot. However, I mostly got a ring as a comfort when I was still struggling to accept to myself. Now it's become a comfort object (security blanket). 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
moonnymph Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 I wear mine from time to time, when I am not wearing it is always with me though, in my pocket. I wear it for me, no one else save some aces recognize it, not all asexuals even know what it is. My ace pride flag striped Winter scarf has been recognized more, plus I love stripes! There are many ways to show your pride, not just by wearing a black ring. Wearing something that is Black, Purple, White, and Grey is also cool too! 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Éadweard Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 Do they work? Are they supposed to be magical or something? 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Vicky Angel Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I'm not very comfortable with rings, is there an alternative? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
biancaboricua13 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 @Vicky Angel You can wear a flag or something like that. I think there is a member, name Uncommon Nonsense (I hope I got it right) that makes items that can be worn, such as flags, pendants, and the like. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
borkfork Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 10 hours ago, Vicky Angel said: I'm not very comfortable with rings, is there an alternative? Lapel pin? @UncommonNonsense makes keychains and the like. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
imnotafreakofnature! Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 I actually have two rings that I usually wear together on my right middle finger. One is just a small black band I got for two bucks at a powwow. The other I got from Amazon. It has a purple heart in a silver band with some clear stones on either side of it, and some black markings on the side of the band where there's a raised design - so three of the four ace colors (gray is missing, unless you consider the band itself as gray). It was only about six dollars (plus shipping). Amazon also carries other ace items, including patches, buttons, pins and the like. I was actually surprised to see how many things came up when I typed in asexual. You can also make your own rings and other things, including scarves, mittens, hats and blankets. There are plenty of how-to videos on youtube. Just find something you like and use ace colors. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
43pc Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 . 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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