Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 5 hours ago, Sunflowerfield said: Just want to say I'm really enjoying this thread... it's fascinating to see what people's ideal relationship/s would be like. I agree. Link to post Share on other sites
Whispearl Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 My ideal relationship would be nonsexual in nature, but I'm okay with sensual touch-y stuff being introduced gradually over time. I like to focus mostly on having experiences with a person. Going places, whether they're exciting or rather mundane, and doing things together with the person that we both enjoy is big. But I'm also a textbook introvert so "recharge" time is vital and would have to be respected as well. It'd be cool to live in the same place with the person, too. I suppose in my head my mind immediately goes to this being a romantic relationship that would evolve into marriage and all that. And I'm cool with that if that's where it ended up going. But I'm okay with it being a really strong platonic relationship or some kind of QPR, and that might actually be the ideal. And I'm also cool with none of this happening at all and living by myself with a bunch of nearby friends surrounding me who I communicate with a lot. Honestly, those all sound ideal, but they're so rare that I'm just gonna go with the flow of whatever one I stumble upon in my life and see where it takes me... Link to post Share on other sites
I.am.me Posted December 20, 2016 Share Posted December 20, 2016 I want a best friend that I never get bored of, someone I can talk about anything with. I want to be able to do things we enjoy together once a week, while we get a sitter for the kids. I want to be closely bonded with them. I want my own room, maybe even my own space a house with a basement suite would probably be ideal. I need someone who's patient and understanding of my lack physical contact. I'm not a fan of kissing, and only want cuddles on occasion. I don't want to feel pressured to have sex, but wouldn't object to doing it once in a while to make my partner happy, but preferably not. I understand no relationship is perfect and it will have its ups and downs and I want someone who will want to stand by me through it and and someone I want to stand by. Link to post Share on other sites
straightouttamordor Posted December 20, 2016 Share Posted December 20, 2016 Ideally, a close friendship with some common interests and some evolving new interest for us both. We all have our quirks but not deal breakers. No deep public humiliation or violent tendencies.( Like duh I know) . Yet allowing dissent without it being personal, not squelching one another's individuality. Lots of deep affection of all and any kind. Without it culminating in sex. Perhaps maybe some sex as long as it wasn't pressured or essential to either party. Kinda take it or leave it mentality. A low sex driven sexual or another pure asexual. We wouldn't have to aggree on all matters political or religious either. Divisions of this kind will always be present. We still have friends, family amd co workers we differ with, why not extend this courtesy to our significant other ? Hugging, kissing, sleeping next to one another, massages and physical touch, fine. Don't try to "cure" the other. Link to post Share on other sites
Laplace Posted December 20, 2016 Share Posted December 20, 2016 My poor twisted mind is kind of incapable of conceiving a relationship, but for discussion's sake, I might be comfortable with anything ranging from a casual friendship (least stressful for me personally) to a committed romantic relationship (if the other person could tolerate my cynical ass though it'd probably be reallllllly tough for me to survive to this stage), though primarily for the sake of the other person. Romance and sex don't really repulse me per say (though I haven't experienced either type of relationship so who the heck knows), but I just can't picture myself as even being capable of being a romantic or sexually active person. It'd be like waking up with an third arm protruding from my chest. I think I'm just naturally a lone wolf. Link to post Share on other sites
Skywolf Posted December 29, 2016 Share Posted December 29, 2016 I guess this isn't something i've thought of too broadly before. Mostly I usually want whatever relationship i'm in to be something I can always find happiness in. Life takes so many weird paths, I don't want to get my hopes up! I'm dating one of my best friends, and I sort of like the idea of marriage. Only interested in a monogamous relationship, though I wouldn't be opposed to a QPP. I'd love to live with my partner, near my BFF and her partner(s), and be able to often spend time with close friends and have a few pets and maybe be godmother to some close friend's kid as I don't want any of my own. Link to post Share on other sites
Debbie Lemonade Posted December 29, 2016 Share Posted December 29, 2016 I've never thought about this before! But now that I am, I'd say a close, non-romantic and non-sexual partnership with a guy, where we could just share a house together and be done with it. Travel around the world, watch Netflix, raise dogs and birds and all sorts of pets, read, talk and joke around for the rest of our lives. I just want someone to go on big adventures with, then to settle down at home with when we're both tired and lazy. I'm completely asexual and aromantic but I still wouldn't mind getting married. I guess I like the idea of having a wedding more than the idea of marriage? So I'd throw in a big crazy wedding in, just for me. Link to post Share on other sites
artzcat Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 So you know how in movies about childhood best friend or friends who grew up next door to each other, they are super close and obviously love each other, but they are unaware of it even though everyone else knows they should be together? And finally someone points it out to them or something happens and they date or whatever. The moment before that happens. The moment when they are oblivious to being in love, that is my ideal relationship. Just a strong friendship. I want a relationship where I feel like this person is looking out for me and of course I am also looking out for them. I want us to hang out, travel together, grab dinner together. But I also want him to hug me and hold my hand in a crowd so we don't get lost. I want to be able to sleep on his shoulder during a long bus ride and it not mean anything except we are close and comfortable with each other. I want to make silly faces with him and not feel ugly. And I want to tease him and find ways to make him laugh. Really I just want a playful relationship with someone. But I also want to be able to be emotionally invested in this person and them with me. I want them to be my number 1 go to person and me for them. They can also have other friends to be close with and I'm fine with that as long as they are only physically affectionate with me. Also we would not live together, but live very close by, within walking distance, and sometimes we would do sleepovers. And no kids. Everyone who sees us would say "You guys should date! You'd be the perfect couple! You're so cute together!" And we'd laugh and laugh and make disgusted faces at each and say "no we're just friends." Link to post Share on other sites
ZMT Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 22 hours ago, Debbie Lemonade said: I just want someone to go on big adventures with, then to settle down at home with when we're both tired and lazy. i second this, immensely! i want to be with someone who wants to hang out with me most of the time, even if we're not talking. i have a mental illness and sometimes i just cannot keep up with a discussion, so i'd need break time but i'd like them to still be around. i'm also a romantic at heart and would like to do sappy romantic things. kissing is okay (i actually love kissing), but my partner would have to understand that it wouldn't lead to anything. i'm realizing that although i like casual, even sensual, touching from people i care about, i'm pretty sex repulsed. and i think i'd like to adopt and raise a child with this mythical partner as well! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest And Peggy Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 A completely platonic one where we live together so we're kind of like best friends who are roommates. Link to post Share on other sites
NerotheReaper Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Well someone who will be accepting of me, my issues, and will love even on my bad days. (That seems simple, but it really isn't). I want someone who I can cuddle up with, eat pizza with and watch Disney movies on a Friday night. Would also be nice to have someone I can have a deep conversation with and be interested in what I am thinking and have to say. But then someone, who will also have a Nerf gun war with me in the house us having snowball fights being kids together. Link to post Share on other sites
abandonedbrain Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 i want a relationship where we are best friends and can talk for hours, whether it be about life, philosophy, politics, sports, or just whatever is on your minds. we would watch tv together; sitting on the couch in each other's arms and enjoying each other's presence. I want to be able to trust them fully and i want them to trust me fully. I want to be able to be vulnerable with them and for them to be vulnerable with me. I want a partner that is open and honest, and for us to be equals in the relationship. I just want to do life with someone by my side that will support me, and I would do likewise. nothing sexual. i just want to be in love. Link to post Share on other sites
Gemsie Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I'd like a relationship with a guy where we are best friends that can rely on each other and be comfortable in each others company. Someone who enjoys life, traveling, eating out, sports, exploring new adventures and someone who is also just as happy hanging out at home. As far a marriage is concerned I don't mind either way if it happens it happens but it's not then end of the world if not. Link to post Share on other sites
sindi Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 At this point I think it would be with another girl (well, woman, but I still feel like a girl myself!). We wouldn't have to have like... all of the things in common, but we would need to be deeply on the same wavelength. It would be very much like being BFFs, but maybe some romantic or even sensual things thrown in. So, we wouldn't necessarily even live together, let alone have kids together, but the difference to normal friendship would be commitment - not commitment to some routines that might get tiring (for example seeing each other constantly - I still would need my alone-time!), but the commitment to keeping our connection a priority, instead of for example getting into a closer relationship with someone else or just moving towns because of less than necessary reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit Advocate Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Lots of kitties. Link to post Share on other sites
Kazbe Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 Hmm, this got me thinking. I've eschewed the idea of another relationship for over ten years, even though I occasionally think it would be nice. So an ideal relationship would be heteroromantic asexual - affectionate (hugs, holding hands, cuddling), caring, committed. Based on mutual respect and admiration and with a willingness to support the other person in being their best. Someone to with whom I can share experiences, go places, have fun. Monogamous - although we'd have our own friends and hopefully mutual friends. I doubt we would live together - been there, done that, much prefer living and sleeping alone and have done so for thirteen years. I knew a woman and her partner who bought two houses, side by side, knocked down the separating fence in the backyard only, and extended the porch on each house to meet in the middle. So they shared the porch and backyard but not the living space. I could go with that - if I had the money! Link to post Share on other sites
Nea Rose Symphony Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 A partner who's also asexual/spectrum (I'm between indifferent and averse) who understands my perspective. But more than that, my partner understands me as a person and can tolerate my social quirks. My partner would have actual concern for me, understand and try to help me in my depressive bouts instead of writing me off, be good texting buddies while we are physically away, and be a good friend, plus an average of 50/50 effort in the relationship. Basically a best friend to hang out with, and if I manage to develop a crush on, dating too. Preferably one who's into art too I just described the opposite of my bf Link to post Share on other sites
Fortune Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 2 hours ago, Cetasoul said: A partner who's also asexual/spectrum (I'm between indifferent and averse) who understands my perspective. But more than that, my partner understands me as a person and can tolerate my social quirks. My partner would have actual concern for me, understand and try to help me in my depressive bouts instead of writing me off, be good texting buddies while we are physically away, and be a good friend, plus an average of 50/50 effort in the relationship. Basically a best friend to hang out with, and if I manage to develop a crush on, dating too. Preferably one who's into art too I just described the opposite of my bf If that's the opposite of your boyfriend, and conversely your boyfriend is the opposite of what you want, that doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. You should think about being kind to yourself and really evaluating whether your relationship is good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Siebs Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 My absolute ideal would be a bff asexual housemate of any gender with our own overlapping social circles. Someone willing to lay about the house in pjs and relax or go out and light up the town with, but also down to cohabit the house while doing our own thing. I dont need any of our hobbies to correspond but theyd definitely need to be active, open to trying new things, up for deep philosophical conversations and a pet person considering the number of cuddly and scaley friends I have. I already have a bff roommate but they are highly sexual and constantly flake out and go MIA in preferance of their new bf, which is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. I care deeply for the relationship but one day will likely have to let it fade into the backdrop because she will leave. At the end of the day I just want a solid, long term and supportive comraderie that wont bail on me in favor of sex. It probably wouldnt matter much if they are also aromantic or not. I may not feel romantic draw towards them but with the right emotional chemistry I can definitely fufill someone elses romantic requirements. Be a cuddle partner, would have little issue allowing kissing and intimate touch(non sexual) if there is trust and strong platonic love in the relationship. I am willing to bend preferance for someone willing to truly care about me. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 My ideal relationship would be nonsexual, we would be spending most of our time traveling and doing other things we love together. Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit Advocate Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 Ideally I'd like an ace housemate who would be alright with my need for spending hours listening to music by myself, and who would also sit on the other end of the couch and watch movies with me sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
sindi Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 On 30.12.2016 at 1:05 PM, artzcat said: So you know how in movies about childhood best friend or friends who grew up next door to each other, they are super close and obviously love each other, but they are unaware of it even though everyone else knows they should be together? And finally someone points it out to them or something happens and they date or whatever. The moment before that happens. The moment when they are oblivious to being in love, that is my ideal relationship. Just a strong friendship. I want a relationship where I feel like this person is looking out for me and of course I am also looking out for them. I want us to hang out, travel together, grab dinner together. But I also want him to hug me and hold my hand in a crowd so we don't get lost. I want to be able to sleep on his shoulder during a long bus ride and it not mean anything except we are close and comfortable with each other. I want to make silly faces with him and not feel ugly. And I want to tease him and find ways to make him laugh. Really I just want a playful relationship with someone. But I also want to be able to be emotionally invested in this person and them with me. I want them to be my number 1 go to person and me for them. They can also have other friends to be close with and I'm fine with that as long as they are only physically affectionate with me. Also we would not live together, but live very close by, within walking distance, and sometimes we would do sleepovers. And no kids. Everyone who sees us would say "You guys should date! You'd be the perfect couple! You're so cute together!" And we'd laugh and laugh and make disgusted faces at each and say "no we're just friends." Aww, this is so sweet that I'm about to tear up! Link to post Share on other sites
Nea Rose Symphony Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 7 hours ago, Fortune said: If that's the opposite of your boyfriend, and conversely your boyfriend is the opposite of what you want, that doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. You should think about being kind to yourself and really evaluating whether your relationship is good for you. Trust me, I'm getting more and more sure of breaking up with him and being strictly friends with no ties of romance at the most Link to post Share on other sites
discotree Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 I often dream of my ideal relationship... I'd love that my current bf become my qp partner, that we would be there for each other, spend time together cuddling, kissing or simply doing ordinary things. That we would both have our free time when needed... Link to post Share on other sites
hercolorwasred Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 I would basically want a traditional relationship with some physical contact, minus sex. I would want to be best friends with the person, live together, travel together and eventually even get married. I would want a stand-up guy who I can trust, with a good sense of humor and knowledge of what he wants out of life. Link to post Share on other sites
straightouttamordor Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 13 hours ago, hercolorwasred said: I would basically want a traditional relationship with some physical contact, minus sex. I would want to be best friends with the person, live together, travel together and eventually even get married. I would want a stand-up guy who I can trust, with a good sense of humor and knowledge of what he wants out of life. Here ! Here ! You nailed it ! That's a pretty ideal relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
FredT Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 Well, I'm a twenty years old girl, I know I'm either Demi or Grey Romantic (but it's hard to tell since I've never really felt the romantic attraction for anyone) asexual. I Know that I eventually want a romantic relationship with a guy I feel really close too, but the thing is, I don't know if I'd be able to date a sexual guy, even if he agrees not to have sex. The thing is, even if he says he doesn't care about it, I think a part of me will always feel guilty of putting this boundary in the relationship. I would always worry about is happiness and well being, no matter what he says or do. I think I just need to know that one is as happy as one can be... Link to post Share on other sites
J.T. Grey Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 If anyone know's who Cardlin is from CardlinAudio, a best friend relationship with him. Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 Monogamy. Just me and her in our house in the desert, both self-employed. A lot of long embraces, no sex, no kids. Always creative activities going on. I do the cooking and sewing so she'd have a lot of time to devote to her arts and crafts. I'd care for her when she's not feeling well. No need for her to glam herself up, it actually turns me off when women do that. We'd live happily ever after, at least until I croak. Link to post Share on other sites
AVEN #1 fan Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 On 01/06/2017 at 0:37 PM, FredT said: Well, I'm a twenty years old girl, I know I'm either Demi or Grey Romantic (but it's hard to tell since I've never really felt the romantic attraction for anyone) asexual. I Know that I eventually want a romantic relationship with a guy I feel really close too, but the thing is, I don't know if I'd be able to date a sexual guy, even if he agrees not to have sex. The thing is, even if he says he doesn't care about it, I think a part of me will always feel guilty of putting this boundary in the relationship. I would always worry about is happiness and well being, no matter what he says or do. I think I just need to know that one is as happy as one can be... Idk if this can help but since you mentioned, I guess you fit as hetero/andro-cupioromantic (assuming you only like men) since you never had a single crush but still want a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.