Single, introvert no kids and wills

[Aqua Blue]

Warning this is a long somewhat rambling post.   

 

Not sure if this is the right area to post this, but as an older(63yo) this is about the only area I regularly read...so here goes.  

I am single, no kids, and pretty introverted(INFJ to be exact). I have recently been giving some thought to a will and where to leave money, if there is any left at the end of my life.  I would appreciate your insight and thoughts on how you decided who to bequeath your assets to

 

I have two brothers, but am no longer close to them.   I have a sister who I will probably "give" some of it to.  She is widowed and I have helped her out from time to time.   She has two young adult daughters who I was close to as young children, but we have drifted apart, and honestly their lifestyles make me not want to leave much to them.  I will probably leave them a "new car or nice vacation "amount.  My one brother has a preschool daughter, who I was close to..she stayed over frequently etc.  This summer my other brother who has really never liked me, offered to fix my computer because a disk was stuck in it.   He took it home and I believed snooped.  I am assuming he saw this aven site and because he is quite religious and homophobic convinced my nieces dad I could be a bad influence on her.  So, I am no longer allowed to have contact with her.  I would probably at this point leave her about the same amount as her cousins, but in a trust until she is of age, otherwise I think she would never know it even existed.  That could change depending on if I have a relationship with her later.

 

  I have quite a few friends in my age group, but they are all in good financial shape and it doesn't seem appropriate.  I used to be very involved with church, but I pretty much no longer go.   I have thought of the bulk going to some sort of help for dogs, as dogs have always been there for me.  😀But would you give it all to one organization, or dispersed over several?   

 

I would appreciate an thoughts you have on this.   I would like to know what others have done.  THanks

[Salted Karamel]

I've always found the education of younger members of my family to be a worthy cause. I know nothing of wills, but I'm sure you could include some legal stipulation about the money you leave to your siblings' descendants being used on college tuition or else forfeited to a charity of your choosing, or something like that? Especially if you're worried about the influence of your brothers' closed-mindedness on their children, education might do a lot of good in the battle against ignorance.

[Tystie]

I don't know whether this will help, but I have recently rewritten my will. What I ended up with is very short. My motivation was that my previous will was out of date, and it seemed like the sensible thing to do. I didn't do it to ensure that anyone would be provided for when I'm gone; I don't have any dependents, and I didn't feel motivated to make any specific bequests.

 

I don't have much in the way of family (brothers...a nephew...a niece). Geographical distance means I don't see any them nearly as much as I would like. But I don't have any of the issues that Aqua Blue does. (Then again, I haven't come out to them, so...)

 

I've basically said that my estate should be split between my nephew and niece, with my brothers acting as executors, and with any money being held in trust until the beneficiaries reach maturity.

 

Quite honestly, if there is any money left when I die, fine. But I'm not going to worry about leaving anything behind. If I need (or want) to spend whatever I have, then I will.

[Blue Phoenix Ace]

That's a very personal choice and one I don't feel too comfortable making major suggestions for. It sounds like the give X to each nephew/niece and the rest to charity idea is good though.

[seneca]

There are plenty of charities that would appreciate funding, especially now. There are also libraries, museums, art galleries, and other worthy causes that can also use money. if you don't feel like giving it to your family, find one of them that feels right to you. Then make sure you have an ironclad will so that there are no problems later on.

[Busrider]

Since I own way more stuff than money, I'd have to try to figure out whom to trust & burden with the liquidation of my estate. <- Big issue IMHO.

I'd guess the average charity would call some professional declutterer without supervising them. Idealists moving in and pushing everything out into eBay would be preferable.

 

So my advice to share across the big pond:

Check your charities while you are still mobile and spot one that seems likely to make more vet bills and food cans from your home than another.

If you are cheeky: Give the charities your money, corporate stock etc. and give the family a chance to pick their shares up, assuming you own something that could be sold for what you had in mind for your relatives.

 

I'd spread $$s over many if there seem to be enough and leave the house and car to a local one, for convenience's sake. If you have an idea how everything you own is able to make the world better for a while go ahead and get a foundation established.

Here I am already challenged to find somebody willing to pickup & use my stuff

[Muledeer]

At this stage in my life, deciding who gets what is a level of stress I do not need or want.  I have two brothers with an equal number of kids.  If I do nothing, my estate will likely be split between them and I am OK with that.  I have a will but it is outdated and I "should" update it but honestly I really don't care.  My mom has been dead for six years and she is still listed as the beneficiary to my insurance policy, retirement accounts and all of my other assets.  Whoever in the family has the task of liquidating my estate should get the assets, I guess.  Dead is dead and when you are done, you are done.  In the end, it is all just "stuff" and you take none of it with you after your demise, so why hamstring the survivors?

 

The ONE thing I do care about is my ranch.  I have taken great care to preserve it in its natural state throughout my entire lifetime and I would hate to see it get divided and developed.  I will likely look into a conservation easement which would prevent development "in perpetuity", thus saving habitat for all of the wildlife (especially the mule deer) who may live there. 

 

Sorry this post lacks any advice, @Aqua Blue, it is merely an expression of my opinion and how I feel about this subject. 

Edit: I do agree with your desire to leave something which would help dogs "because dogs have always been there for me".  The problem is finding an organization helping dogs that can be trusted.  I also distrust most other charities  as well, especially the ones that solicit money from me by mail or phone.

 

[Aqua Blue]

Thanks for all the thoughtful replies.  

 

Muledeer, that is somewhat my feelings too.  I still have tod's on mutual funds that list my 3 nieces, from a time when we were younger and I was closer to them.  I can't decide if I should just leave it that way.   I also hear you about leaving money to help dogs, would dogs actually end up helped?

 

busrider, you gave me some things to mull over!

 

seneca, I am hoping it isn't "now"😛  I'm hoping to spend it down a little more, haha

[Aqua Blue]

TYsie, believe me, I wasn't planning on coming out to them!   Up until now, they just thought I was gun shy after a 20 year bad marriage!   I am tho, trying to loosen the purse strings for myself now, it wouldn't hurt my feeling if there was nothing left to divide.

 

Kattydidd, good ideas, particularly for the youngest one.

 

thanks again everyone

 

[Hammerhead]

Who you leave your estate to is really up to you to decide.  My situation is about the same, never married and no kids.  In my will I have my estate distributed equally between my two nephews and one niece.  They're the only relatives that I have that are of the younger generation.  I've never been close to them but they are family.

 

Also, since I have no family I gave my sister Power of Attorney, both financial and medical.  That way if I end up on life support from a bad accident or whatever she has to right to pull the plug.  She knows what my wishes are should I end up like that.

[teatree]

An elderly friend of mine, who has no family, has just tapped me to be her power of attorney both financial and medical. I feel a bit anxious at the prospect, but she also has a will detailing who gets what, so that should make it easier, and I know her wishes medically.

 

Interestingly, after this thread started, I read an article in our local paper about this very issue: "elder orphans." I Googled it and there are lots of other articles about it.

[Autumn Sunrise]

@muledeer I love your plan for the ranch, and I hope it works out the way you want 

 

@Aqua Blue If you want to leave some money to a "dog" charity, you could look into the operating charter of any you like the sound of (awful grammar - sorry!) Here, we have an organisation called the "Sydney Dogs' and Cats' Home", which I like because it's a "no kill" shelter - they keep the animals until they can re-home them. If you do a bit of research it's not too hard to find out if a shelter operates the way you'd like.

 

@teatree I hadn't come across the term "elder orphans", but I guess it's becoming a bit of a phenomenon. Maybe we "orphans" need to organise and look after each other a bit more 

 

I'm lucky not to be an orphan, as I live with my son and younger daughter. Since it's actually my house, I don't feel like a pensioner on their bounty, but they pay their way well and truly in helping me and looking after the property (around seven acres). So we're all happy. When I die, they get the house and land in equal shares, and my older daughter gets the money from my superannuation fund. This arrangement seemed to suit all three, so everyone's happy (I hope, anyway!)

 

 

[coyote55]

I'm working on this issue now - 61 years old, never married, no kids, but I have plenty of worthy relations and friends for heirs - it's going to be spread rather thin, but I'm ok with that. Most of it's going to younger generation, nephews/godsons, their wives and families (assuming I don't burn it all up before I die).

 

It's really important for us to have a well-written will. In the absence of one, most states will try to funnel your assets down the usual succession of spouse/ children/living relations, and so on down the line, which isn't relevant to most of us. in addition, they will appoint an executor (such as a bank) who won't have a clue about where you want your money and stuff to go, and will dump it on the first legal heir they can find.

 

In my own case, I'm working toward minimizing my estate by setting up my bank accounts, IRAs, and annuities with transfer-on-death agreements of various kinds. These will pass to my heirs outside of probate, and simplify things a lot for my executors.

 

[Hammerhead]

On 12/11/2016 at 5:12 PM, teatree said:

An elderly friend of mine, who has no family, has just tapped me to be her power of attorney both financial and medical. I feel a bit anxious at the prospect, but she also has a will detailing who gets what, so that should make it easier, and I know her wishes medically.

 

Interestingly, after this thread started, I read an article in our local paper about this very issue: "elder orphans." I Googled it and there are lots of other articles about it.

 I went thru the whole process earlier this year because my mom died in January so I can tell you this from experience.  My sister had financial and medical Power of Attorney (PoA) for our mom and her rights/duties as PoA ended the moment our mom died. 

 

After death the Probate Court gets involved.  A Probate Judge reviewed our mom’s will and it specified our brother as executor.  Because of this the judge assigned our brother to be the Judiciary.  It is then the Judiciary’s responsibility to execute the will and comply with the Probate Court’s instructions/requirements.

 

So in your case your PoA will end when you elderly friend dies.  Hopefully she has specified an executor in her will.  If she hasn’t then the Probate Court will assign a Judiciary.  If your friend hasn’t specified an executor and you wish to be for your friend she will have to have her will changed.  Be warned that being executor and then assigned as judiciary is a long and tedious process.  Our brother lives out of state so my sister and I did most of his judiciary duties for him.  It was a royal pain, I can explain further if you wish.  Our brother got involved only when his physical presence was required to do things like appear in Probate Court, sign documents, file our mom’s final state and federal tax returns, be at the closing when we sold our mom’s house, etc.

[teatree]

Thanks for the words of caution, Hammerhead. We are going to the lawyer next month to sort it all out. I hope I'm not in over my head!

[Muledeer]

Teatree, power of attorney and executor of an estate are two very different things.  It is good that you all will be visiting with a lawyer to get it sorted out.   I can only hope that I will find someone to entrust as kind and competent as yourself to be my power of attorney when the time comes to choose such a person.   

[teatree]

Yes, I believe I am to be executor as well....