TeeKay17 Posted December 8, 2016 Share Posted December 8, 2016 Okay! So the weirdest thing took place last night. Well, it was weird to me. So I've been on a dating app for a few months. Because generally I've always though I was heterosexual (I've never been attracted to women), and men always seemed nice looking I guess. Asexuality has been in the back of my mind on and off since I was 14, but the last 2 years it's been there pretty well all the time. So last night I went out on a date with someone I met on the app. And he's a super nice guy. We talked for 5 and a half hours. I was out late. We had great conversation. He's good-looking. I even agreed to hang out with him again. But then I got home, and completely panicked. Because I had just had this great date with this great guy, and my first thought was "he'd make a good friend." Throughout the evening I imagined kissing him (and realized I didn't want that to happen), I was trying to conjure up butterflies because that's what you're suppose to feel on a first date, right? Nothing. I felt EMPTY. And I felt like I was broken. Because who wouldn't want a second date with this great guy whom I had a nice long chat with? ME. Would I hang out with him again? Maybe. But I do not want another date. In fact, I never want to date ever again. I'm embarrassed and I feel like I completely wasted his time because I just don't see myself dating. Ever. I used to think I would want to get married. Today I'm like I want to live with my best friend (in a roommate way) and we can adopt a bunch of dogs and cats and chickens and goats, and read books, and be nerds and obsess over our favourite Netflix shows together and just be co-existing asexual beings. Is this asexuality? Am I bad person for going on this date, only to realize I don't want to go on another date? I'm so confused. Sorry for long drawn-out post, but I need some advice. :/ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MrDane Posted December 8, 2016 Share Posted December 8, 2016 Im sure he had a nice time too! I guess, you talked, laughed and enjoyed the moment/company! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted December 8, 2016 Share Posted December 8, 2016 There's no reason you can't see him again but make it clear you don't see it as anything more than a friend. As for butterflies.... sometimes. But that kind of instant connection is very rare. Dates are about finding out about the other person and how you both relate and maybe getting closer if you want to. You don't want to, maybe never will, and that's fine. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Phoenix Ace Posted December 8, 2016 Share Posted December 8, 2016 What you are describing may have to do with aromanticism but not asexuality. Does the idea of dating someone else sound appealing, but it just didn't work with this guy? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TeeKay17 Posted December 8, 2016 Author Share Posted December 8, 2016 No, dating someone has really never sounded appealing to me. It happened a few years ago with another guy, I just couldn't put my finger on what I was feeling. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
brittnibayers Posted December 8, 2016 Share Posted December 8, 2016 I tried dating one time and we watched anime the first time I went over to his house. I love anime and I forgot he was there LOL we tied kissing I was more interested in the sensation as in I have never done that before I found it warm and wet and that was the only sensation I got from it. We are still friends but yah nothing more then that. If you find him interesting go for it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SpicyChad Posted December 8, 2016 Share Posted December 8, 2016 Hope isn't lost, you just have to be straightforward with people . I'm sure he thought you were cool, too. just tell him you want to be friends. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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