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Presenting Holiday Myths As Reality


Crystal7

Presenting Holiday Myths As Reality To Kids  

51 members have voted

  1. 1. Is it okay for parents to tell their kids falsehoods about Santa, Easter Bunny, etc. in the name of harmless holiday myths?

    • Yes
      28
    • No
      14
    • Unsure
      10

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Growing up my parents told me all sorts of things existed: that it was Santa who delivered my Christmas presents via flying reindeer sleigh, that it was the Easter Bunny that hid eggs in our living room, that it was leprechauns that left candies and gold dust in our kitchen, etc. I believed every word they told me, and I was deeply hurt when I found out they were lying to me. I don't believe there is sufficient justification to lie to our children about such things, and would not tell such things to my own children. Yet so many parents in my extended family continue to tell such tales to their kids, because they think they are harmless stories. I love stories about Santa, Easter Bunny and leprechauns. I have no problem with the stories--my objection is in telling your children these stories are real and then using them to weave lies around the things you are doing for them around the holidays.

 

Did anyone else have a similar experience? What are your thoughts about this--is it okay for parents to tell their kids falsehoods in the name of harmless holiday myths?

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I think it's fine... I don't see the harm.

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It's hard for me to say whether these thing are harmful or not, because I can't even remember a time when I believed in Santa Claus.  My parents had decided that they would tell us the myths since we'd hear about them anyway, but they wouldn't push it too much, and would be honest with us when we started questioning things.  Apparently when I was in kindergarten (so five years old) I came home from school one day and asked my mom why Santa didn't give presents to the two Jewish boys in my class.   So she explained that Santa was just a thing parents made up to get kids excited about Christmas, and little Delta just accepted that and went on with her life.

 

People are often shocked when I tell them that story, because they feel like I "had no childhood" by finding out so young.  But I don't know any better, so meh.  I do remember in early elementary school it was fun to have a secret when other kids my age would talk about Santa, and I was the only one who knew the truth

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Mychemicalqpr

I'm not sure.  My mom was very big on stories about Santa, Easter Bunny, etc and had me completely convinced. I wasn't heartbroken though. I look back on childhood Christmases as good times. I don't know if my mom intentionally made my realization that these things weren't real gradual or if it just happened that way, but I can't pinpoint one specific moment where I was hit with the news that it was all a lie. Is that unusual? For a while when I heard other people mention that Santa or someone else wasn't real, I would just think "they don't know what they're talking about", but eventually I figured it out, much later than usual, 14 I think. 

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I voted "unsure". I also had the experience of trusting my parents when they talked about "Father Christmas", as he was usually called in my country at that time. I remember being teased by other children around age 10/11 for believing; eventually my parents had to tell me the truth, and I remember being very upset not just that they'd lied to me, but that it had led to me looking stupid in front of other children who knew the truth (I was bullied at this age). 

 

I now work with pre-school children and so have the experience of hearing them talk about Santa, the Tooth Fairy etc. As a teacher rather than a parent, I'm not in a position to directly tell children these myths aren't true, but I don't encourage them either (so if children talk to me about these stories, I won't confirm or deny anything, but might make a comment like "That's what they say"). I don't have children of my own, so I don't know what I would do if I had my own kids. 

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Anthracite_Impreza

I don't really care, I never believed it anyway. I'm pretty sure they'll figure it out by the age of 10 in any case.

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33 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

I'm pretty sure they'll figure it out by the age of 10 in any case.

I was 11.

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Anthracite_Impreza
15 minutes ago, Crystal7 said:

I was 11.

Still young enough to get away with it ;)

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My parents went to a lot of effort to make it seem that Father Christmas, the Easter Bunny, fairies etc. existed when I was a child, and I believed them for years, but I wasn't hurt when I realised they didn't exist, it was just part of growing up to me. I am glad that I believed those things as a child and that my parents put in effort to make the stories realistic (such as christmas presents appearing under the christmas tree over night, horse shoe prints from the reindeer in the garden etc.). It made my childhood seem magical, and my memories of those times are very fond.

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I don't remember ever believing in Santa or the tooth fairy but I do remember extorting my parents over it. I think I was about 7 when I told my mom she owed me money because I was so devastated to find out the tooth fairy wasn't real. I didn't have any emotional attachment to the concept but I figured my mom would think I did so I could get something out of it. A year later I tried it again, forgetting I had already gotten $10 out of her. Similarly, I remember getting Mom to let me eat Santa's cookies so my little brother would think Santa had eaten them. 

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I think parents make a much bigger deal about it than children.  Some kids go along with it because their parents want them to.  

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WHAT?! THERE'S NO SANTA!!!!!!!!!! WAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!4c9op8McE.gif

 

Absolutely! It's all part of the magic and the innocence that I miss from my childhood.

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Just now, CBC said:

Well if it's okay to tell them the myth of Jesus for these holidays, then Santa and the Easter Bunny are okay too, I guess.

Well said! ^_^

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WhenSummersGone

I voted unsure but that's just because I want/wanted to believe in something.

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I personally won't present such as truth to children I may adopt in the future but ay, to each their own.

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I don't see any harm in it. I was rather sensitive as a child but even I wasn't sad when I found out they weren't real. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Even if they are sad about it, I doubt it will scar them for life or anything.

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 I firmly believe that it is not OK to lie to children, whether directly or through implication; be it about Santa Claus, the tooth fairy or anything. All good parents teach their children that it is wrong to tell lies, so to lie to then about the existence of Santa Claus is a “do as I say not as I do” situation which I strongly disapprove of. I am also firmly against smacking children as form of punishment for the same reason.

 

Furthermore, when children eventually learn or realise the truth, they may then think “if my parents lied to me about Santa, what else have they lied to me about that I haven’t found out about yet?” I certainly felt utterly hacked off many years ago when I realised that my parents, grandparents, aunties and uncles had been going along with such an outrageous falsehood for years!

 

Just because I believe that does not in any way mean that Christmas needs to be any less fun or magical for children. Children are excellent at playing make believe pretend games, so if I had children, they would still get a stocking full of presents and we would have fun pretending that Santa Claus came down the chimney or whatever, but I would be totally upfront with them about the true origins of the presents and that we were only pretending.

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cavalier080854

Kill Joys. Let kids be kids. They have their entire adult lives to screw up. Don't spoil their childhood. Everyone lies at all times of their lives, even adults.

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What's the real harm in this? I can remember the excitement as a child thinking 'ooh, Father Christmas will be visiting tonight! Filling up my stocking right outside my door/end of the bed!'. There was real wonder and magic in all that which makes me actually envy child me as an adult now. Sad when the magic is lost... I don't know why everything has to be so darn realistic these days. Why can't there be these little 'fairy stories'? It's like this whole thing with mocking fairy tales in films these days, because we're sooo 'post-modern' or something. Actually I like the innocent/but actually not so innocent in a way stories which used to get presented to us. I really think these 'lies' we are told as children are fine, and children should naturally stop believing at some age and be no worse the wear for it like we were...

 

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I'm with Terry Pratchett on this:

Quote
Susan: “All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."
Death: REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
Susan: "Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"
Death: YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
Susan: "So we can believe the big ones?"
Death: YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
Susan: "They're not the same at all!"
Death: YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET — Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
Susan: "Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"
Death: MY POINT EXACTLY.
 
Hogfather 1997 (TV adaptation 2006)

I know I was about ten or eleven when I came fully to the realization that Santa and flying reindeer only existed in the world of the fantastic, yet, this little nubbin of hope still persists, even now many years later, that I will find Santa and Rudolph and the rest standing on my lawn ready to whisk me off to adventure (the same way I do with the TARDIS and the Doctor). Those little things do matter. There's only so much comfort one can get from the truth, all the time. I think most kids come to the realization that Santa and all the rest aren't real all on their own without too much trauma. Or if you really rather they know a truth, teach them about Santa as the spirit of giving to others selflessly - it's a great starting point. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M13G8p5fUgw

 

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I believe it's definitely okay in this context. I wasn't extremely hurt or upset when I found out that it was my parents that brought me presents or bought and hid the easter eggs. A little disappointed, maybe, but parents only do that stuff because it's fun for the kids. When I was young enough to believe Santa existed it was just so fun and amazing to get a letter ''written by Santa'' or to come down and find that Rudolph had munched the carrot I left for him.

It's all in good fun and it enhances the experiences.

 

Children deserve time to believe in magic and wonder before they get older. They're kids, let them have fun while there's fun to be had.

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I have really fond memories of leprechauns and putting out glitter and oatmeal ("reindeer feed") on Christmas Eve as a kid. I slowly suspected Santa wasn't real - I don't remember any shock and I still love watching Christmas movies with him in them.

 

I think this is what I'm doing for my kids.

 

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Well,  the myth that "if we misbehaved Santa wouldn't visit"  seemed to work with me for a few days every December. 

 

Babies being delivered by storks was another one which saved parents from awkward explanations 

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1 hour ago, AprilStorms said:

I have really fond memories of leprechauns and putting out glitter and oatmeal ("reindeer feed") on Christmas Eve as a kid. I slowly suspected Santa wasn't real - I don't remember any shock and I still love watching Christmas movies with him in them.

 

I think this is what I'm doing for my kids.

 

OMGiddyAunt! What a fantastic way to deal with a child. Heartwarming, in the true sense of the word! Thanks for sharing this.:D

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1 hour ago, Sleighcaptain said:

Well,  the myth that "if we misbehaved Santa wouldn't visit"  seemed to work with me for a few days every December. 

 

Babies being delivered by storks was another one which saved parents from awkward explanations 

You people are really bursting my mythical bubbles! Next, you're going to tell me that some babies aren't found in cabbage patches. The nerve!

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As long as I can remember my parents said Santa was real, but I was very aware that he wasn't. My sister was too so it must have been something my parents said when I was very young or something about their demeanor obvious enough that we both picked up on it. We never did the Easter bunny, although they claimed the tooth fairy was real, but I somehow knew it was just my parents and was determined to prove it. 

These traditions are fun as long as the kid knows they are in jest, because truth and trust are important. Everyone should eventually learn not to trust everything they hear, but learning that lesson as a six year old because your parents (who should be trustworthy) are needlessly lying is pretty harsh.

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  • 1 year later...

@Crystal7

 

This poll is being locked and moved to the read only Census archive for it's respective year. As part of ongoing Census organization, and in an attempt to keep the demographics of the polls current with the active user base at the time, the polls will last for one year from now on. However, members are allowed and even encouraged to re-start new polls similar to the archived ones if they like them.

 

iff, Census Forum Moderator

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