Should I already know?

[existinguser]

This isn't the biggest deal of my life but my orientations bother me often and I find myself wondering if I'm bi or hetero or neither, I have always liked men romantically, but never sexually and women sexually but not romantically.  I thought I was fine about this but I hear about lesbians and bisexuals and all kinds of things and I feel very insecure about my stance. Should I know what I am? Where does it seem like I fit? I also was told by an old friend that I was probably a lesbian transitioning slowly but I haven't been attracted to women much like i am men. I assume I'm heteromantic but my sexual attraction is baffling me

[mikeman7918]

It is possible to have different sexual and romantic orientations.  One can be homosexual and heteroromantic at the same time.

[Snao Cone]

You might find new things about yourself as you meet more people or get exposed to new things that you find yourself very turned on by (sexually or romantically). I would say keep an open mind to meeting people and see if anyone does bring together both your sexual and romantic desires. There are people of nonbinary genders who might satisfy both the masculine characteristics that attract you to men romantically and the feminine characteristics that attract you to women sexually. I find that in cases like yours where it isn't so clear cut, a lot of people (younger ones especially) just simply call themselves queer.

[AshenPhoenix]

As Mikeman said, it's possible to have different romantic and sexual orientations (I, for example, would consider myself a biromantic homosexual), just putting in my two cents there before moving on the my point.

 

No, you don't have to know. It's perfectly normal to not totally know where you fit, and it's completely fine. What you are doesn't matter as much as how you feel. And if labels are making you stress out more than they're helping you identify and feel more "together", then it's not worth it. If you can't really figure out what you are, then don't worry about it! In truth, I really think when someone can't tell what the hell they are, there are only really two things that help it. The first being research (which you are obviously doing by coming here and asking questions  ). But, when that doesn't work people tend to freak a little bit with "what am I?" syndrome. And at this point I would advise anyone to take a step back,  and wait for the second thing. Time. If you can't figure it out only time will really give you the answer, so in the meanwhile don't sweat it  

 

Hope you can find out what you are by doing a little research and soul searching! But if you can't, that's totally normal too.

[Xavy]

To answer your question "Should I already know?" I would say there is no magic time by which one should automatically know their sexual and romantic orientation. I was baffled for ages before I finally figured things out about my own sexual and romantic orientation (which has turned out to be a complete lack of both). It takes time, and yeah it's super confusing, but, it gets better.