binary suns Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 title Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 That's a tricky question. A relationship without sex is a non-sexual relationship. A relationship between two asexuals isn't necessarily an asexual relationship; those two asexuals could be having sex. I don't think a relationship is asexual; the word asexual refers to a person/people, not an activity. Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 As Sally wrote, that's really difficult to answer. There are already vastly differing views on what constitutes a relationship, and if you add asexual as a qualifying term, it only gets more confused. For example, an asexual relationship could be any relationship in which there is no sex. That would encompass friendships, relationships between family members, relationships between colleagues, platonic relationship, some romantic relationships, and many others... Or, it could be a relationship in which at least one of the partners identifies as asexual. Whether or not there's sex involved. Or a combination of both - a relationship without sex, where at least one of the partners identifies as asexual. It's complicated. I think each of us needs to find a definition that we're comfortable with and maybe re-evaluate it from time to time as we go. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 weII in my mind an asexuaI (romantic) reIationship is a reIationship where both peopIe are in romantic Iove with each other, but there is no desire for or expectation of partnered sexuaI contact between the two of them (by sex I mean partnered genitaI stimuIation for the purpose of sexuaI pIeasure and/or orgasm for at Ieast one partner). That's different from a ceIibate reIationship, because that to me makes it sound Iike one or both partners desire sex, but they are just not having it for whatever reason. If there is no desire for partnered sex in the first pIace though, from either partner, that's an asexuaI romantic reIationship. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted December 3, 2016 Author Share Posted December 3, 2016 why do people form relationships? what is the purpose of them? how long do they last? how often do they fail? what exactly is a successful relationship? what determined a failure? are there ways they end without failure? Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 26 minutes ago, Every Red Heart Shines said: why do people form relationships? what is the purpose of them? how long do they last? how often do they fail? what exactly is a successful relationship? what determined a failure? are there ways they end without failure? You are asking all the hard questions here ;) One could fill a library with possible answers to that. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 a relationship with asexuals Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 4 hours ago, Every Red Heart Shines said: why do people form relationships? what is the purpose of them? how long do they last? how often do they fail? what exactly is a successful relationship? what determined a failure? are there ways they end without failure? 1) Because it fulfills an emotional need 2) See one 3) As long as they last 4) Often 5) A successful relationship is one where you learn something, or gain something, at least while it lasts. 6) I don't consider most relationships "failures". Even in the most toxic ones I've had, I gained something from them. Insight into myself, knowledge of the world, whatever. 7) Yes. Most endings are without failure imo. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted December 3, 2016 Author Share Posted December 3, 2016 do business relationships fulfill an emotional need? are business and other peer relationships discluded from this forum, lol/ ps. what about family relationships? or when we're here talking about asexual relationships, do we only refer to romantic relationships? what about QP relationships/ Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I think an asexual relationship can be anything 2 consenting asexuals desire it to be. There really isn't a magic bullet answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Chihiro Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Business relationships can fill emotional needs. Eg- When bad stuff happens in personal life like bad SO, lot of people will approach employer or work-friends for support. Many employees get married to each other, when they fulfill each others emotional needs. I wouldn't call business relationship as an asexual relationship (unless both partners are asexual). Typically, what defines a relationship is its foundation. It can be business, family, or even a common hobby like music. Or romantic love or friendship or some other needs. When this core element of foundation dies, people no longer feel the need to be in relationship. For example when people are no longer in love, they separate. Sure, many people still stay together after falling out of love, but only after they decide on a new foundation. (Not sure if they verbally decide this). The new foundation could be, "we have babies together, lets stay together for them". Or some other foundation. I don't fully understand the term QPR, because many relationships (for example when the romance has worn off) resemble QPR. So, if you and your partner are asexual, then you are in asexual relationship. But its upto you both to define whats the foundation going to be. Are you both together because of shared interest in some hobby? Or because you want to fulfill each others emotional needs? Or is it because you two are in love and deeply infatuated with each other? Or is it because you enjoy each others friendship? (Its upto you what you want to call these relationships. Queer-hobby-R, Queer-emo-need-relationship, romantic relationship, or queer friendship LOL) Link to post Share on other sites
Jemima Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Me thinks it's a very special kind of friendship, lots of trust, affection and care. Link to post Share on other sites
Icey Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 On 6. 12. 2016 at 7:31 AM, Chihiro said: Business relationships can fill emotional needs. Eg- When bad stuff happens in personal life like bad SO, lot of people will approach employer or work-friends for support. Many employees get married to each other, when they fulfill each others emotional needs. I wouldn't call business relationship as an asexual relationship (unless both partners are asexual). Typically, what defines a relationship is its foundation. It can be business, family, or even a common hobby like music. Or romantic love or friendship or some other needs. When this core element of foundation dies, people no longer feel the need to be in relationship. For example when people are no longer in love, they separate. Sure, many people still stay together after falling out of love, but only after they decide on a new foundation. (Not sure if they verbally decide this). The new foundation could be, "we have babies together, lets stay together for them". Or some other foundation. I don't fully understand the term QPR, because many relationships (for example when the romance has worn off) resemble QPR. So, if you and your partner are asexual, then you are in asexual relationship. But its upto you both to define whats the foundation going to be. Are you both together because of shared interest in some hobby? Or because you want to fulfill each others emotional needs? Or is it because you two are in love and deeply infatuated with each other? Or is it because you enjoy each others friendship? (Its upto you what you want to call these relationships. Queer-hobby-R, Queer-emo-need-relationship, romantic relationship, or queer friendship LOL) I think that also these kind of relationships can coexist together so relationship with one person can be all of that for example you can be bothsomeone's best friend and romantic partner Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted December 7, 2016 Author Share Posted December 7, 2016 IF that is the case, than a relationship necessarily must be something that is determined by the people involved, specifically their intentions and what they get out of a relationship. and so, an asexual relationship is one which is intended to lack sex and/or does not involve sexuality for either member. Link to post Share on other sites
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