Am I Jealous?????

[Notafanofsalad]

My girlfriend and I are ace and love each other. Yet she had a sexual affair then after saying sorry, started spending time with her ex girlfriend and completely ignoring me. I got upset about it but now I'm scared that I'm jealous.

 

I'm confused and it hurts.

[Notafanofsalad]

Thanks. That's really what I needed to know. after the affair my gf was very sorry, because I told her how upset I was when I found out. We reconciled. Then she spends time with the ex like I said, and again I said I was upset and she was sorry.

Now it's different.

I've apologized for being upset about the affair and she said I was jealous. And is now upset with me for being upset.

And so now she's saying it's Jealousy over the ex and can't see why I'm hurt.

There's a lot more behind why I'm hurt, but I can't post it.

 

Well here's the thing. She's poly but hates people who have affairs and said she wouldn't do that to someone whilst in a relationship because it's wrong.

 

And then does.

[HonoraryJedi]

So obviously, I only have your point of view, and only a little but of information about the situation, but I'd be wary of people who make you apologise for something they did wrong. I mean, she cheated and then you ended up apologising for being upset about it? Obviously I haven't heard her side of this story, but that sounds pretty manipulative to me. It sounds to me like your problem is a relationship gone bad, and that the jealousy is a symptom of that. She had an affair, you don't really trust her and she doesn't sound like she respects your feelings. Maybe you should get out of there.

[Notafanofsalad]

On 12/3/2016 at 4:50 AM, HonoraryJedi said:

So obviously, I only have your point of view, and only a little but of information about the situation, but I'd be wary of people who make you apologise for something they did wrong. I mean, she cheated and then you ended up apologising for being upset about it? Obviously I haven't heard her side of this story, but that sounds pretty manipulative to me. It sounds to me like your problem is a relationship gone bad, and that the jealousy is a symptom of that. She had an affair, you don't really trust her and she doesn't sound like she respects your feelings. Maybe you should get out of there.

 

Yes thanks for that. She's done it a lot and I end up trying to make things better, and make the effort.

That's right.  I wish I did, but it's too close to the affair and I've tried to forget but she keeps bringing it up, (it bothers her obviously) and when she does, it's because she saw nothing wrong - so makes me think that she said sorry just to get the argument over.

 

A lot of people have said I should go. 

 

I'm staying in for love, but, idk anymore.

[Star Bit]

By sexual affair you mean she romantically cheated and ended up sexually compromising or is sex indifferent and agreed to have sex with a friend?