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A/romanticism and the idea of "the one" (rant)


Snao Cone

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5 minutes ago, ohdearIzzy said:

To be honest I have never really understood why so many aros talk about friends refusing to hang out with them because they have a partner... I mean wow, those must be some really shit friends. I have never experienced, observed, or heard about such a situation happening IRL, outside of the first few weeks of a 'new love' when the partners are obsessed with each other, which they generally quickly get over and settle into a balanced healthy relationship which allows lots of time for friends. Do I just happen to be surrounded by unusually emotionally well balanced people?

 

As for my emotional needs, they are satisfied by occasionally hanging out and having a laugh with a few friends,  and if I am very upset maybe visiting my parents and having a good cry while they fuss over me. I have only been that upset twice, I normally prefer to deal with my emotions alone.

 

I think you are lucky to have such friends. I have only had one friend who actively made efforts to hang out with other friends, even when she was in honeymoon phase with her boyfriend and even after she got married. I cant really blame the rest of my friends, they probably have tiresome jobs or kids and in the end they have energy to be with only one person aka their SO. I have come across extrovert people, who seem to socialize despite being in relationships. But they seemed to want to hang out all the time and being an introvert, I don't have that much energy. I would attend every few events with them, but this probably came off as bizarre behavior, so they probably felt rejected or weird and eventually they stopped inviting me.

 

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